The rise of "Love in the Whole City" and the decline of "the appearance of a woman".
In the young stage, the coordinate of "female appearance" representing the value orientation of women's marriage is at the apex of the social marriage value curve, and the coordinate of "male talent" representing the value orientation of men's marriage is at the bottom of the curve. With the passage of time, the "love in the city" curve gradually rises, and the "female appearance" curve gradually declines; Around middle age, a meeting point is formed; Then, the "male talent" curve of successful men continues to climb to the top, while the "female appearance" curve of most women declines to the bottom. Over time, the gap between the two curves gradually widened, and the shape of the two curves was like an open pair of scissors. Generally, after the age of 50, the two curves gradually parallel, shaped like scissors handles. Known as the "scissors difference" principle between husband and wife.
The existence of "scissors difference" between husband and wife is inevitable. Usually it does not directly affect the harmony of marriage and the relationship between husband and wife. But when the difference between the two curves in scissors is too big, then the marriage will be contradictory or even broken. Therefore, the "curve" between husband and wife should not be too wide, and the distance should be appropriately reduced.
Open the age gap and narrow the scissors gap.
First of all, the physiological age gap between husband and wife should be appropriately widened. Because the peak orientation of marriage between men and women usually appears at a certain time interval, the peak appears early for women and late for men, widening the age gap between men and women can reduce the dislocation of the peak period.
The age difference between men and women at marriage is about 10 years old. If 10 is set as the age difference between men and women, and the two curves representing the value orientation of marriage between men and women in the "scissors difference" curve are translated, we can be surprised to find that the "scissors difference" will be obviously shortened or even nonexistent, and it is more likely to overlap into a parabola. In other words, the age gap of 10 is the best way to ensure the coexistence of "love in the city".
Cherish the affection between husband and wife. There is no age difference.
Secondly, the factors that maintain the relationship between husband and wife are constantly strengthened. In real life, many couples have little age difference, but their feelings are also very strong. This is because there are many factors that maintain their feelings. For example, the mutual affection formed in the common struggle makes both men and women have a firm emotional foundation subjectively.
After having children, objectively, both sides have a common responsibility for raising and educating. Out of love for their children, they cherish their present feelings more. In addition, in the long-term common life, the interdependence of economic life also makes the relationship between husband and wife stable.
A flash in the pan is always true.
Finally, the simple "love of the whole city" has evolved into both talent and appearance. With the progress of society, women are no longer completely dependent on men economically, so appearance is no longer the only benchmark for evaluating women's marriage value orientation. With the increase of age, women's talents are also increasing, and the value orientation of marriage has not declined because of the decline of appearance. This also warns us from another angle that those who judge people by their appearances, if only an embroidered pillow, are essentially like a flash in the pan and will lose their value over time.
In short, understanding and shortening the "scissors gap" between husband and wife is to prevent and avoid the potential "emotional crisis" from turning into a real marriage crisis and jointly safeguard the harmony and stability of husband and wife's feelings and family.
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