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"I often lose my temper recently. How should I treat and face my children? " "My patience with children is getting smaller and smaller, and I even begin to hate them" and "The more children cry, the more intense they become. If they are fierce, they won't cry. What should I do? " I believe this is a question that many parents have had in their hearts when raising their children. What's more, "how can I teach my children like this? Such moments of helplessness and self-doubt are constantly emerging in parents' hearts. Teacher Luo, with more than 20 years' educational experience, is a child-rearing expert who has accompanied countless helpless parents through various educational difficulties by combining the positive upbringing of Montessori and Adler with Satya's inner dialogue for the first time.

Teacher Luo, known as the "Aaron Kwok of education", was born in Hong Kong and studied in the United States. After graduation, he chose to go deep into Taiwan Province Province. At that time, Luo, who majored in music and business administration in Meishuang, was bent on developing his music career. After the Taiwan Province record company expressed its willingness to sign a contract, Luo had expected to debut with Wang Leehom at the same time, but he resolutely gave up because he could not adapt to the entertainment culture in Taiwan Province province. When thinking about his future career, some of Luo's relatives in Taiwan Province are engaged in education-related industries. At that time, because he came back from abroad and his English was good, he was recruited by his relatives to be an English teacher, which was the beginning of his investment in the education industry. He has taught in kindergartens, primary schools and junior high schools. In this process, he found that no matter how hard some students worked, their exam results were still unsatisfactory. Before, he always thought that these students didn't work hard, but being at the forefront of education, seeing the children struggling and working hard in front of the test paper, he began to think about why. This provides an opportunity for Luo to explore other educational theories.

"Under the guidance of this question, I found that early childhood education is the key to laying a lot of character and learning foundation, especially 0-6 years old, so I began to be interested in early childhood education. 」

At that time, Luo turned to study Montessori's educational theory and obtained a license, hoping to find a way to overcome children's learning disabilities in Montessori. He really found it. In Montessori, Luo learned that 0-3 years old is the most critical development period for cultivating concentration. If the upbringing of parents hinders the development of children's concentration at this stage, it may make it difficult for children to concentrate and be serious when they grow up.

For example, parents often show cartoons to their children when they are doing housework or don't want to be disturbed by their children, but this is actually too * * * for children, which will affect their brain and attention development. Learning Montessori can also be said to be a major turning point in Luo's life. He not only realized the importance of early childhood education, cleared up the problems that trapped him at the beginning, but also laid the foundation for his lifelong career. From Hong Kong people who want to pursue their musical dreams in Taiwan Province, he decided to invest in early childhood education in Taiwan Province. "I am very happy to find the passion to move my life forward again. 」

To supplement all the details of Montessori education, young Luo was eager to try, but he didn't expect to get along with children in class but ran into a wall everywhere. "Although I know the law, I don't know the law." I don't have much experience with children, and I don't have children myself. Luo felt very depressed when the children disobeyed the teacher's instructions in kindergarten.

"When children are disobedient or even ignore me, I will be very anxious and nervous. At this time, the imprint of the education method of being born in a family will emerge, which makes me unconsciously treat my children with the education method before being born in a family. 」

Traditional ways of educating children are mostly negative, including orders, blame and threats, and making children obey with a tough attitude. "But the kindergarten where I worked at that time didn't allow this way, so I was confused and didn't know how to face the children. In addition, children will have a lot of emotions when they get along with them for a long time. Adults don't know how to appease children. After a long time, they became more and more unhappy and finally exploded directly. This is also a problem that many parents will have. In terms of education, Luo discovered the second major problem through getting along with children, which catalyzed him to combine the three educational theories of Montessori, Satya and Adler to develop a unique "golden triangle of education".

"No school can solve all the children's problems independently. Each school has its own strengths, but it also has its own limitations. Therefore, apart from Montessori, Luo's original specialization, Satya's inner dialogue and Adler's positive upbringing were added to the "Golden Triangle of Education".

In Montessori's educational theory, it helps people to understand the development priorities of children from childhood to adulthood and what physical and mental needs they need to meet. But if we want to explore how to calm children's emotions, our own emotions, and understand the reasons behind children's behavior, we can't find the answer in Montessori. At this time, Luo Hongbao came into contact with "Satya's inner dialogue" and found a way to settle himself and his children. "To settle children, adults must first settle themselves, so I think Satya is very important for parenting education. 」

But what if the child tries to cheat and talk back? Luo, like an explorer, looked for ways to overcome educational problems in various Dali theories, and finally found it in Adler's positive parenting theory. Luo closely linked these three theories and regarded the "golden triangle of education" as a sharp weapon for children's education.

"Stability" and "positivity" are two core concepts in the theory of cultivating the Golden Triangle. Get along with children every day, children are more impetuous. If adults are calm and calm, they have enough ability to carry their emotions. On the contrary, it's like putting an item on an unstable table. Any trouble may cause the table to fall, and so will the articles. Therefore, the more settled adults are, the stronger their support for their children will be.

What is positive? Affirmative sentences include affirmative sentences, encouraging sentences, caring sentences and polite sentences. Positive attitudes often come from care and respect, while negative attitudes are mostly imperative sentences, blame sentences, interrogative sentences and negative sentences, while negative attitudes mostly come from negative ideas among adults.

"In Adler's view, the most important thing is whether children can maintain their inner sense of value and belonging from an early age if they want to have a positive personality, such as being polite, considerate, responsible and able to solve problems. 」

With this, children have a great chance to have a positive personality when they grow up. But what if the child makes a mistake? Luo stressed that positive parenting does not mean that children are not allowed to make mistakes. The key is to let children release their emotions in the process of being accompanied by frustration, and at the same time, to guide children to realize their efforts and keep talking to them in the process.

Luo, who has been educated in the East and the West, shared with us the differences between the two educational models. Education in the West is closer to the golden triangle model of education, while education in the East is closer to cramming education. The biggest difference is authority and absoluteness.

In the golden triangle of upbringing, the emphasis is on letting children develop adaptively and understand the beauty of learning essence, rather than examining children's learning effectiveness in a result-oriented way. Such children are usually independent, able to express their opinions well and have good problem-solving skills. Finally, they also know how to accept a comprehensive view, which includes accepting their own good and understanding their own bad, which is completely different from traditional education. Good people can't do bad things and bad people can't do good things. But that doesn't mean Romania is against cramming education. He keeps an open mind. After all, there are still many places to look at scores in this society, and there are still many parents who force their children to study in advance and get high marks in the most efficient way.

"It depends on parents' values on education, but they are not necessarily the best for their children. Teacher Luo laughed heartily.

Finally, I had a dialectical discussion with Mr. Luo. I walked around cramming education, Taiwan Province Province, wondering how to test the academic performance of the Golden Triangle, but the teacher led me to discuss the essence of education. "What achievements need to be measured in learning? Body? Smart? Still in my heart? " "How do you measure and grade?" "Character can score? The teacher asked all the questions gently and sharply.

Is the essence of education the ultimate measure of learning effectiveness, or should children have enough enthusiasm to explore the world and the universe? Whether education needs to "pursue the effect" instead of focusing on the optimization of the learning process itself deserves detailed discussion. Therefore, cramming education or the Golden Triangle is a question, leaving it to you and me to see how we want to educate the next generation.

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Teacher Luo's stable parenting course: 12 dialogue exercise and psychological method was opened in a good school in Hahow, and it has officially started to raise funds. Whether you are a parent with a child aged 0-6, a parent who wants to prepare for parenting in advance, or a preschool teacher who gets along with children every day, come and learn the "Golden Triangle of Parenting" from Teacher Luo, so as to lay a solid foundation for children and parenting education.

* Extended recommended reading "Stable Education in Romania".

Luo on stability and upbringing

In addition to the child's heart, in fact, the adult's heart also needs good care. Only when you have settled your heart can you have the ability to settle your children. This is the biggest difference between teacher Luo's parenting book and general parenting books-he combines his own experience and professional knowledge with the advantages of "Montessori", "active parenting" and "Satya's internal dialogue" to help adults solve the dilemma of "knowing but not doing", provide practical methods and share how to make the parent-child relationship more stable and full of stability and love through gentle and firm dialogue.

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