Parents have good intentions, but blindly "finding faults" and "finding bones in eggs" are always obsessed with children's mistakes, which will do some harm to children's minds. Let's take a look at what harm parents who always pick the wrong ones will bring to their children.
First, it is not conducive to the formation of a good "self-image" for children.
Children are immature individuals, especially young children, and their self-awareness is in an objective period. Even if children go to primary school, "others' evaluation" still occupies an important position. If parents always think it's not good for their children, so is it. If the child's self-confidence is hit, he will really think that he is an idiot and a person who can't do anything.
Second, children have no motivation to move forward.
The reason why many children work hard is simple, that is, for the praise of teachers, for the praise of parents and classmates. As a song goes: "For mother's smile". If the teacher's parents belittle him blindly, the child can easily break the jar and even attract others' attention by playing tricks.
Third, children are easy for parents to carry.
When children were young, they were very attached to their parents. Sometimes when parents finish criticizing, they cry twice. With the gradual growth of age, their sense of independence is enhanced, and their self-awareness has changed from an objective period to a subjective period. They have their own views on the problem. So, I began to fight with my parents and even teachers. You say I'm bad, and I still think you're bad!
Parents blindly find fault, children are often in negative emotions, and over time, it is very easy to lead to psychological problems. Such as inferiority complex, anxiety, loneliness, impulsiveness, jealousy, etc.
The ancients said that enough is enough, and it is reasonable. Everything must have an appropriate scale to play its greatest role, otherwise it will go too far. So is frustration education. Moderate frustration education for children can stimulate their potential, dampen their self-esteem, make them truly enjoy the joy of success, and better adapt to modern society ... In short, there are many benefits. But only by correctly grasping its degree can it play its greatest role. Here are some concrete and feasible methods.
First, let the children suffer appropriately. "If you can't get through, you will find better people." Parents should not only give their children certain material conditions for normal study and life, but also make them suffer appropriately. When children encounter difficulties or make mistakes, don't choose to escape because they are afraid of hardship, fatigue and willfulness. Children should learn to face and solve problems by themselves.
Second, let the children know the difficulties and failures. "Everything is difficult at the beginning" "Anyone who does something will have difficulties at the beginning". As parents, we must clearly tell our children that there will be many difficulties on the road to success, but difficulties do not mean failure. Through your own efforts, you solved the difficulty and you succeeded.
Third, teach children to treat failure correctly. Many times, it is often not the failure itself that brings the biggest blow to children, but his understanding of failure. For example, if your son is not elected as a cadre, the reason he thinks may be: "I am not as good as other children." But in fact, the reason may be "this position is more suitable for girls." As a parent, you need to help your child analyze the reasons for his failure while comforting him. And constantly encourage children to continue to work hard and have a chance next time.
Fourth, assign special tasks to children. One day, you said to your child, "Your paper-cut in kindergarten today is really beautiful, but the children tore it up when they looked at it." Can you cut a more beautiful one tomorrow? " In fact, this is a special task for children. Giving children such tasks often can not only improve their problem-solving ability, but also enhance their creativity. Of course, parents' demands should not be too high, and unrealistic demands will undermine children's confidence.
Fifth, let children learn self-confidence from their parents' attitudes. Parents are their children's first teachers, and their words and deeds will have a great influence on their children. In the face of difficulties, if parents themselves are flustered, at a loss, or often pull a long face and sigh, they will leave a bad impression on their children. When you encounter hardships in the future, you will unconsciously imitate your parents. Therefore, parents' positive and optimistic attitude and calm handling of various problems can have a good influence on their children.
Sixth, teach children to wait. From the age of 7-8 months, when they ask, Guy will let the children learn to "wait". For example, when a child is in a hurry to drink milk, tell him that milk can only be drunk when it is cold; When going up the stairs, tell him not to worry when going up the stairs. When crossing the traffic lights, let children learn to obey the traffic order; When getting on the bus, let the children wait for the person in front to get on the bus. Only in daily chores, consciously cultivate children's "waiting" ability. Faced with setbacks, they will not be in a hurry.
In short, frustration education cannot be achieved overnight, and there are various methods. Parents can also find out the methods suitable for their children in the process of parenting. Proper frustration education can improve children's ability to deal with problems, which is beneficial to their physical and mental health, but blindly picking on children's faults will only be counterproductive.