Everyone knows that the education of parents is the key to the success or failure of family education.

But education takes many forms.

How can we be good parents and educate our children?

1

Being a parent is also a "first, second and third stream"

"First-rate parents are role models, second-rate parents are coaches, and third-rate parents are nannies."

No matter whether this sentence is right or wrong, no matter what kind of parents, "role models", "coaches" or "nannies", there is a common problem to face, and that is how to deal with their own emotional problems.

For the father, what the father takes to educate his children is to use his own demeanor. How the father behaves is a kind of strength and a kind of space for children. A mother's mood is more important to her children.

Mother's personality and temper will directly affect children's psychological development. Therefore, controlling emotions is an important lesson for modern mothers to learn.

The first word my mother wants to learn is "virtual"

Many mothers are very smart, they can see their children's problems at a glance, and soon they can't help but point them out. This is not the connotation of mother. When a mother sees her child's strengths and weaknesses, don't react immediately.

Why don't you move? Because children need space to grow up by themselves. Random and excessive evaluation of mothers often makes children lose their inner motivation and pay more attention to their mother's reaction.

A mother who can't keep a straight face and be empty can't provide space for her children's emotions. The child's emotions are not tolerated by the mother's emotions, or become cautious or antagonistic, making it difficult for the parent-child relationship to be smooth.

The second word my mother wants to learn is "weak"

Mothers should learn to show weakness in front of their children. It is difficult for a child with a strong mother to be self-confident, and the child's self-confidence will be weakened little by little when the mother has been strong. A mother who can show weakness in front of her children actually helps them by showing weakness, and their hearts will gradually become confident and powerful.

Therefore, if you want your child to be confident, you must learn to show weakness in front of your child. Parents who have always been strong to their children are actually suppressing their growth and development.

The third word my mother wants to learn is "soft"

In the process of children's growth, a mother's real educational strength lies in "softness". You will find that the softer a mother is, the stronger her ability to control her children is sometimes, and it is often difficult to be competent to guide and control her children by yelling at them all day.

Every parent attaches importance to children's learning, but where should parents' mentality be? Please don't rush to sign up for classes, find a tutor, or find something at the methodological level to solve your child's learning problems.

Family education focuses on nurturing, not teaching. We need to interpret the following two words in particular: one is heart and the other is emotion. Education needs affection and courtesy, which is the principle that parents must abide by when educating their children.

There is no fixed method for teaching, and the methods needed to treat children from different families and children at different growth stages are definitely different. But there is a common principle to pay attention to, that is, to be affectionate and polite, and to value affection over courtesy.

It must be a certain degree of emotional communication before the child will take the initiative to say, "Mom, what should I do?" At this time, a little truth in the past may realize a guiding ability for children.

2

Parents are anxious and impetuous, which is more terrible than children's learning problems.

It is not terrible for children to have learning problems. What is terrible is the interference source that causes children's inner anxiety. When a child has a problem, don't be impatient, calm down first, adjust your emotions, and then face the problem.

How to realize the self-regulation and management of emotions is a deep-seated problem for parents. Only when our parents' hearts calm down can educators' rational thinking on education settle into their hearts and become their own state.

Without this process, you can't internalize into your own state, and it is invalid for you to read any educational concept. Because you can't internalize and precipitate, you can't have the capital to implement education, and you can't realize it in your own home with the things of education experts.

three

Be sure to leave educational space for children.

If you want to do a good job in family education, you must work hard at both ends, one is the father and the other is the mother. The growth of any child in the middle is completed in a tortuous process. This space should be reserved for children, regardless of it.

First-class parents rely on letting go, uneducated parents rely on management, managing children is 100% failure, and letting go of children is 50% success.

Some parents said, do you want me to let go? Let you let go and let you stand in your role. It is necessary to maintain children's emotions, rather than participating too much in children's behaviors. Too much participation means that we are making mistakes unconsciously and consciously.

four

The educational energy of parents is enough to ignite children's enthusiasm for learning.

When a person loses his enthusiasm for learning, even the best IQ can't be exerted. Some parents say that their children don't behave well and don't study hard. The biggest feature of China culture is introspection. "University" said that "the heart is right, then honesty". Whose heart is it? Correct parents' hearts, and then correct children's hearts.

In fact, temperament determines children's learning differences. Children's temperament is a kind of temperament that parents' state is slowly internalized into them. Parents' mood breeds children's learning mood and temperament.

To start the energy of family education, we must first start the natural emotions of parents and children. The affection and emotional strength between our parents and children should reach the level of "blazing". Hot is hot, hot enough to barbecue a child's heart. What shapes children's mind and temperament is to take the feelings that our parents should have.

Today, many children are not lacking in talent, but lack of feelings and vague meanings. Parents are the biggest enlighteners of children's love and righteousness. If you lose the power of enlightenment, it will definitely be a pity for your child's talent performance.

Family education is the return of true feelings and the watch and inheritance of culture. Family education can no longer be tossed from the perspective of methods and technologies, but should be examined from the perspective of culture and philosophy.

five

Cultivating one's self-cultivation focuses on cultivating one's heart.

In education, the power of methods is limited. What do parents really lack in educating their children? What they really lack is not the method, but the state, which is the educational state of parents.

There is a distance between father and education. It is not terrible to have a distance, but the father should show his position in the family education space and clearly express what is the spiritual guidance for his children at home.

The best state of education lies in the word "education". At present, children's learning problems, all kinds of problems are summed up as lack of mental energy, and their hearts are facing lack of enthusiasm for learning. Fish farming focuses on water, trees focus on roots, and people focus on their hearts.

If the child's heart is not maintained at home and cannot be effectively nourished, there will be no foundation for natural intelligence; No matter how high the IQ is, it is difficult to give full play to one's talents without appropriate and corresponding psychological support. Forget about the child's heart. Let's look at the person who raises the child's mind, that is, whether the parents' mind is suitable for raising children, or how to reach the realm of raising children.

How to ignite children's inner enthusiasm for learning requires a certain temperature and a certain state to ignite. If parents are indifferent, numb or anxious, it is difficult for us to ignite children's enthusiasm for learning.

In the face of any state of the child, please remember that as a parent, ensuring the emotional peace of the child is your greatest education for the child!

WeChat official account Juanzi mother tells stories.