In fact, being bullied is definitely not a trivial matter for children. If the child is bullied and there is no better transitional treatment, it is likely to have a profound impact on the child's life.

If a child is bullied for a long time, it may destroy his self-awareness and self-worth, and even produce post-traumatic stress disorder, which is PTSD.

There is an image metaphor about what is post-traumatic stress disorder, that is, "a person's heart was originally intact, but it was smashed into pieces by an encounter." If a person's inner world collapses, it will directly affect his emotions and interpersonal relationships, such as frequent insomnia, irritability, sensitivity, withdrawal, sadness, shame and so on. Moreover, the images of being bullied will often flash uncontrollably in his mind, which is painful.

Therefore, when children are unfortunately treated with violence, as parents, we need to give them immediate protection.

Tell your child at the first time that "it's not your fault, no matter what happens, we will stand by and support you", but don't ask for details at the same time. If a child has some resistance to social interaction, or is unwilling to go to school, we try our best to tolerate it, because he may be under pressure.

In short, the principle is to deal with emotions first, and then deal with things; Calm the children first, then deal with the problem.

If parents blindly tell their children to be patient, it is extremely irresponsible to their children. Of course, we don't mean to beat each other up, but to maintain an attitude of "not picking things up and not being afraid of things", which is a very important family education concept we pass on to our children.

So if you meet several people who are violent to children, tell them that the best way to deal with it is to protect yourself first and then wait for an opportunity to resist. But resistance requires skill, such as finding the weaker side, making a fierce attack, and even doing whatever it takes at a critical time.

Because group violence will not stop because of your tolerance, on the contrary, it may be more intense. But if you resist, you may stop the violence, because people who commit group violence are bullying and afraid of hard work, but they are actually afraid.

Then if the child is unable to resist, he must burst into tears or shout loudly. Never bear it silently, because your forbearance will only inspire the perpetrators to be more violent.

If the child is bullied for a long time, he will avoid the crowd and close himself up, so it is necessary to find a professional psychological counselor to intervene in the crisis of the child when necessary.

Of course, if children are treated with group violence, parents must also call the police. Let the other person's guardian and the school pay attention.

If necessary, you can consider transferring to another school and leaving the environment where your child feels hurt. This is to protect your child and avoid secondary injuries.

-Hu

Be patient and careful to understand, if the child is really bullied. It is a serious mistake to educate children to reflect, and the bullied people will definitely be lonely and helpless. It will cause psychological shadow to children, and other solutions should be sought.

1. Comfort the child and tell her to be strong. If there is no fault, you can directly fight back and answer blows with blows. And report to the teacher and tell parents to go directly to the teacher for on-site treatment.

If the school doesn't handle it, you can go directly to see the bully's parents. Parents can coordinate with their parents first, so that parents can go back to educate their children to solve the problem peacefully in private, and it won't happen again in the future.

If all the above methods fail, parents can talk to bullies directly and warn them that school is a place to study. We should focus on learning, and students are future brothers and sisters, which should be cherished rather than destroyed. You can use shock appropriately to make the bully retreat. If not, it can be solved by the higher education department, and then it can't be transferred directly. I think this school is not a good one.

Remember, you will always be the child's backer and dependence. If the child is right, he must be encouraged and supported.

What he really needs is a big hug, and you are there as a judge. Do you think you did the right thing?

When I was in primary school. Once when I came home from school, I saw a younger child playing by the ditch, and then I dragged him to the road. As a result, when he came home, he told his adult that I hit him, and then his adult took the child to my house to criticize him. My father scolded me indiscriminately and apologized to others.

I no longer trust my father. I don't feel safe with him He can't even protect his own children. In his eyes, truth is more important than children.

In our life, many people's lives have been reversed. Their values are obviously problematic. They don't know what 1 is and what is second, but they look at the world with their own value judgment, which will make you very uncomfortable. Please stay away from them!

Does eating the third steamed stuffed bun have the same effect as eating three steamed stuffed buns?

Children are bullied, and education must be divided into several steps to be effective, instead of directly educating and reflecting.

The first is to accept the same principle. Anyone who is bullied needs to accept it in the same way, instead of directly denying his practices and ideas. What is the difference between this and denying his existence? What happens if a person feels that he can't even find the value of existence?

Why are some children prone to puppy love? Because after being bullied, parents can't accept it and can't give comfort, and it happens that there are classmates and friends outside who sympathize, understand, tolerate and even stand up for him, then when the child compares his feelings, will he choose to go home after the injury? No, it will only push the children out of the family, which is very dangerous.

Therefore, the first step must be to let children know that no matter how hard they are hit outside, no matter how big the storm is, home will always be a safe harbor and a strong backing.

Then, we look for the cause of children's problems, whether it is their own problems or others' problems. It is a problem of behavior, conduct, language communication, emotional management, conflict of values about a thing and so on. Let's analyze it together. Parents share their thoughts, and children also speak their thoughts. Children don't have to listen to their parents' ideas completely. In this process, children will see the problem more clearly.

It is also on the basis of the previous item that this step of analysis will be calm and will really enter the child's heart.

Finally, there must be a guide to action. You can't tell your children what not to do and what not to do. In the end, the child is still trying to make mistakes. Sometimes, too much trial and error will make children become less confident, more depressed and even afraid of interpersonal communication.

At this point, parents can share some of their own practices. What can they do if they are bullied? What is the first principle? Is safe; What is the second principle? It's for help.

At the same time, it can stimulate children's willingness to exercise and improve the quality of body kinetic energy.

In a word, education is an art with principles, methods and skills. However, don't wronged the children blindly humble, learn to protect themselves is king! ,

Hello. I wonder how old the child is. What kind of bullying? Have you ever comforted your child for the first time and then educated your child? However, in any case, this educational method that requires children to reflect is incorrect.

Put yourself in others' shoes. If someone hits you, it's hard enough for you. When you go home, your mother says to you, "There are so many children in your class. Why didn't he hit others? Think about what your problem is! " How would you feel?

If children are still young and have not developed themselves, children at this stage will think in a way that points to their own attribution. For example, if mom and dad quarrel, children will think it's their own fault and let mom and dad quarrel. Then it is easy for children to blame themselves for being bullied. Of course, this way of thinking has not yet been finalized, and the child's internal systematic thinking system is also being established.

In this case, parents' practice of "educating children to reflect" is tantamount to adding strength from the external system and making children attribute more to themselves, which is tantamount to secondary injury and is very unfavorable to children's physical and mental health.

In fact, the first thing we do in crisis intervention and encouraging consultation is to tell customers: "something happened, which is not your fault." In that case, you have done your best. " Instead of telling him, "You are wrong, think about how you are wrong."

A good practice is:

1. Comfort children

Tell your child, "You are very sad, and your mother is very sad and distressed, but it is not your fault. Let's face it together. "

2. Dredge children's negative emotions

Let the children talk, tell stories and talk about their feelings. Parents listen to help their children solve bad emotions.

Discuss with children

Discuss how to face this incident and how to deal with it.

We also discuss how to avoid this situation in the future.

In short, children should be able to get and feel the love, support, tolerance and care of their parents. This is a support system to help children face it bravely.

At the same time, I also learned the skills to deal with such social problems and the principle of "don't make trouble, but never be afraid of things".

After empathy, empathy, companionship, counseling, psychological system reconstruction, etc. If necessary, you can find a professional counselor to further solve psychological problems, and don't leave shadows and injuries in your child's heart.

I hope I can help you.

The child was bullied. Is it wrong for the subject to educate her to reflect on her own problems?

Today, when I saw the subject's question, Yang Yang's father told you clearly: You are wrong.

1, the school is a small society, give the children a hand.

Seeing the problem of the subject, I remembered that I was always bullied when I was a child, and sometimes I had to rely on my sister for help.

I didn't grow up for two years because I broke my leg in the third grade. From the fourth grade to the primary school graduation, sometimes I will be bullied by my classmates in the same village. Because he is two years older than me and strong, I can't beat him.

I remember very clearly that once, after he hit me, I went back to the village in tears, went to his home to find his parents, but I couldn't find them, and then went to see the teacher. The teacher was not at home, only his wife was at home.

No way, back to school, we can only work next to each other. I hated it then, but I still remember it now.

Not long after, the teacher came to the class and scolded me again, saying that I went to his house to look for him, without asking me why I went to look for him or criticizing my classmates, and it was over. I didn't tell my parents afterwards.

When I was in junior high school or even in college, I never had a fight and met something unfair. The other person is tall and big, and I am small, so I keep laughing because I am afraid that I can't beat others.

You know, when I meet a bully or someone who doesn't obey the traffic rules when driving, I always have an impulse to fight, but I have a fear that I can't beat him, that is to say, I have no confidence.

In this case, I always say to my wife sitting next to me, "I must learn boxing or learn some martial arts." If I meet a bully or jam, I'll go down and beat him. "

This kind of psychology, I'm sure, stayed when I was a child. Therefore, your child is bullied at school (to the extent of bullying), and you are still educating your child to reflect. You are wrong. You should teach your children to say no to school bullying.

2. Where are you wrong?

(1) doesn't help children build up their self-confidence.

Children are bullied at school. You should ask the reason clearly before you consider the next step.

If the child is wrong, it is not that she is bullied, but that she bullies others; If the child is right, you should give the child psychological counseling, and then guide the child how to face such problems, bravely solve them by himself, and let the child bravely say no to school bullying.

If there is a problem or physical conflict, ensure the safety of the child. If you solve it yourself, her self-confidence will increase. If you can't solve it, you have to help her solve it, and the child has learned how to deal with it in the process.

(2) Children should not be allowed to reflect on themselves first.

The child itself is right. Why do you ask her to reflect on herself? Is it necessary to reflect on doing the right thing?

If children form this habit, they will become weak. In the face of right and justice, they dare not say it, but can only hide it in their hearts. When you are wronged or bullied, you dare not resist.

This is a great failure for the child's character growth.

3. What should you do?

The previous answering process has explained what parents should do when their children are bullied, so I will repeat it here.

(1) Listen to your child.

Everything happens for a reason. First, listen to how the child is and what the child wants to do.

(2) ensure the safety of children and let them solve it themselves.

If the child can't solve it, you should be a strong backup force for the child and help her solve the problem of being bullied. Bullying is no small matter. If it is not solved for a long time, children will leave a psychological shadow, afraid of facing setbacks and challenges.

(3) Correctly comb and guide children's psychology.

When something happens to a child, parents should not be impulsive, but listen to the child to explain the problem, analyze the problem, propose solutions and finally solve the problem.

In this way, children's hearts will become stronger and they will bravely face setbacks, difficulties and challenges. Parents give their children a strong sense of security.

These are the true stories and thoughts of Yang Yang's father. I hope to remind the subject, pay attention to the fact that the child was bullied, and teach the child to face it bravely instead of self-reflection.

END: Yang Yang Dad Parent-child Station, focusing on parenting education and children's physical and mental health development.

When a child is bullied, parents are the umbrella of the child and the trash can for the child to vent his emotions. Why?

First of all, children who are weak outside may be bullied. At this time, parents should protect their children, mainly not to scold them when they go home, not to give them a hug or ask them what the specific situation is. Let the children speak out, then analyze the problem with them and let them understand right and wrong. Children's problems will be solved slowly.

When I was eight or nine years old, I often quarreled with my second brother, and it was always caused by my second brother. When I complained to my parents, I was scolded by them every time. I felt very wronged: my parents certainly didn't love me, and I was lonely, helpless and hurt. Fortunately, at that time, I was heartless and heartless, and I always lived well.

Secondly, parents should teach their children how to deal with bullying: find a teacher at school to solve it; You should ask the police or the adults nearby for help outside the school. When in danger, learn to defend yourself and so on.

Third, learn to reflect: reflect on your own language and behavior. , whether inadvertently caused harm to others. What kind of language behavior should be paid attention to in the future will cause unnecessary misunderstanding.

Fourth, teach children to be grateful and get used to saying "thank you", especially when getting help from others.

In short, if you don't want to be bullied, you must learn to be strong inside and treat others well.

This kind of education is still not suitable. If a child is bullied, the victim is a child. If parents don't understand, they will blame their children instead of solving problems for them. Children are really hard to accept!

Children are generally reluctant to tell their parents such terrible things, but they have no choice but to ask their parents for help. When encountering such a thing, we must first ask the reason, understand what harm the child has suffered, and think about how parents can help the child solve it. If it is really the child's fault, you can understand and point out her mistake with emotion. Otherwise, the child can't accept it for a while and feels helpless. If something happens, there is no reward.

At present, school bullying incidents are common, and children can tell their parents about their injuries, which shows their trust and dependence on their parents. If it's time to knock out their teeth and swallow them, I believe parents don't want to see it.

Please take this matter seriously. If the child is really injured, you should tell the teacher to find a teacher. You should call the police and stop bullying! It is most important to give children a space for happy growth.

Blocked his exit to talk to you. Sometimes you have to see what he's going through. There are some things that a child can't bear and handle.

If he wants to ask you for help, after telling you, you not only don't help him find a way, but also blame his life problems and examine your own problems. He can't solve it by himself. Asking for help, but you blame him. He'll never get out again. Try to get to know each other.

How old are the children? Reflect on yourself?

There was a girl who complained to her mother when she was bullied by her brother. Too many prosecutions. Mom is bored. When you are bullied at school, you go to the teacher to complain. The teacher thinks there are too many complaints.

Little girls can only protect themselves. If you are bullied a little, you have to bear it yourself. Before the age of ten, I cried when I was bullied. I stopped crying when I was bullied after I was ten years old. My heart is cold. Fortunately, I'm not too stupid to go to college. There was no conflict of interest in the university, so no one bullied her. After graduation, in the process of promotion, it is common to be bullied because of interests. Probably because I am too focused on my major, too focused on educating my children, and disdain to haggle over the interests of my colleagues. Finally, the retirement summary, when young, the leader always said that you are still young, give the opportunity to the elderly. But when you get old, no one wants to give it to yourself. No one wants to treat her as an old man, even if she is not as good as herself.

But sometimes I think, God is fair, although the promotion obviously suffers, but because of the in-depth study of the profession and the careful training of children, other aspects of income can not be deprived by others!

Depriving others of what they deserve also requires extra efforts, such as the transfer of benefits and how to transfer them. How much was delivered? If you want to use your brain, you will lose money if you use more brains in this respect and less brains in business!

There are many factors that influence the success or failure of a person's life. Care about one thing, lose one thing, it is difficult to be perfect!

The child was bullied. Now that I have told you, parents should know the situation in detail and not let their children reflect on their own problems. Children, there is nothing wrong with themselves, and they may be bullied! Children are not adults and can't solve it by themselves. If she feels that her parents can't help her at all, there is nothing she can do, and she may go to extremes! If she always gives in, she will develop the character of giving in everything, and she will suffer a lot all her life!