This phenomenon can't go on. As parents and teachers, we should not only pay attention to whether children are in puppy love, but also understand why children are in puppy love and evaluate the influence of puppy love on children accurately and objectively. Otherwise, it is difficult to give them proper counseling.
From a psychological point of view, the root of the increase in puppy love among students lies in the prolonged sexual hunger and thirst and the increase in sexual temptation. Sexual hunger refers to the period from sexual maturity to normal and legal sexual behavior. In the past hundred years, this period of China teenagers has been obviously prolonged. One hundred years ago, the age of male sexual maturity in China was about 15~ 16, and the age of marriage was about 18~20. Women mature sexually and get married about two years earlier than men. Sexual hunger lasts about three to five years. At that time, young people were not only exposed to cultural products related to sex, but also had few opportunities to get along with men and women alone. Although many young people are physically mature, their awareness of sex is still hazy, and there are many examples of how to share a room after several years of marriage. At present, it is very common for boys to have nocturnal emission in 13 ~ 14 and girls to have menarche in112. But nowadays, the marriage age of young people is generally delayed, and there are many unmarried young people over 30. The sexual hunger and thirst period of contemporary young people is generally more than 10 years. On the other hand, now all kinds of media are full of sex-related information, and you can't escape from it when you are young. Boys and girls study together in the same class and spend all their time together. In this context, to sit still and concentrate on learning, children must bear much greater psychological torture than adults think.
So why should adults object to puppy love among students? Probably because of the following reasons:
1. Worried that puppy love will distract children and affect their study;
2. Worried that children are ignorant and do deviant things;
3. Worried that children are naive and don't know how to choose a future life partner;
4. I think that the future of the child is uncertain and it is not appropriate to choose a spouse too early;
Due to traditional morality, everything related to * * * is bad.
Parents and teachers find their children's puppy love a headache and don't know how to deal with it. In most cases, they will strongly oppose, severely reprimand and forcibly break up, but the results are often unsatisfactory. Although some children are separated, they have caused lifelong psychological trauma, while some children are separated more than close, even at the expense of breaking up with their families. In fact, if we can discuss the solution with children according to the above specific objections, the problem of puppy love is not as difficult as adults think.
First, puppy love may cause learning distraction. But for a child who is already in love, breaking up forcibly may make the child even more reluctant to study. If we can guide them on the basis of understanding and let them inspire each other in learning, it may also stimulate children's learning motivation. Whether puppy love affects learning depends on the specific situation of each child, and it is forbidden to draw conclusions just by guessing.
Second, people from different cultural backgrounds may hold different views on this issue. For example, there is a middle school teacher studying in the United States. Her landlord is a single mother. The landlord's daughter is a middle school student and often keeps boys at home for the night. The teacher kindly reminded the landlord, but the landlord said ungrateful to her, "What's the problem?" This is her private life! "From the American point of view, this is purely a personal problem. Parents should not interfere too much, especially boys, and even say "Good boy! "Most of China has become ... >>
Question 2: How to treat puppy love correctly and get out of it? Most people went to bed after dark in ancient times, but now people have more knowledge. Because of the light, life can continue, so they will naturally fall in love and face it normally.
Question 3: How to treat the puppy love phenomenon of middle school students correctly? Puppy love among middle school students is a very headache topic for class teachers and parents, and it is also one of the most headache things for class teachers in class management. The so-called puppy love is puppy love, which is an out-of-control behavior. In fact, "puppy love" is the temporary loss of students' ideals and values in adolescence, and it is an irregular and rebellious ideological and psychological quality. There are many reasons for this kind of psychology and behavior, such as the bad influence of society, untimely and inadequate family education and class management, which can all cause students' "puppy love". There are four reasons why middle school students usually fall in love early: puppy love is because they can't get the warmth of their families; Puppy love is because of conformity curiosity; Puppy love because of imitating adult life; Being misunderstood by others leads to puppy love. Once students fall in love, it is difficult to educate and guide them, and improper handling will lead to a series of adverse consequences. How does the head teacher correctly handle the phenomenon of puppy love among middle school students?
1, respect and care, positive guidance
Puppy love students should never be discriminated against. We should understand and respect their feelings, win their trust on the basis of understanding, approach them with caring attitude and help them. Some class teachers regard puppy love as a "big violation", and once they find out which student has puppy love behavior, they take "emergency measures", such as innuendo criticism without name, breaking off diplomatic relations within a time limit, etc., and even denounce it as "improper style" and "poor ideological quality", or humiliate students in public with sarcastic language, or complain to parents, and take strict discipline from them. This simple and rude treatment greatly hurts students' self-esteem and makes students who fall in love with each other feel depressed and depressed.
When the class teacher finds that the student has signs of puppy love, or after careful observation, confirm the student's puppy love. Generally speaking, he should not rush to deal with it, but calmly analyze it first, consider the education and help plan according to the students' personality characteristics, and avoid everyone. He can talk and teach alone, respect the privacy of students and keep secrets strictly. Still have to get in touch with your parents in time. The purpose is to persuade parents not to scold or abuse their children, so that parents and children can live in harmony, trust and understand each other.
2. Be rational and emotional.
Puppy love students should not be involved in rough * * *, forcibly separated, and should not be condescending and severely reprimanded. The head teacher should be the guide of students' life path. As a friend and "adviser" with an equal attitude, knowing the interests and helping them to handle the relationship is related to their lifelong happiness. Because of the poor self-discipline ability of middle school students, on the premise of persuading students through persuasion and education, the class teacher can help students to formulate a self-discipline standard and help urge them to consciously implement it. There are two boys and girls in my class who often get together and have a close relationship. They were in a trance in class and their academic performance plummeted. After I found out, I chatted with them and got to know their relationship. I promised them not to tell their parents for the time being, and put forward two rules that they must abide by: first, they are not allowed to be alone and keep normal communication at school; The second is to pay attention to learning. Two students obey the rules, and they gradually feel that there is something wrong with their love. In fact, it is not their own problem, but the timing of love is wrong. This is just a beautiful mistake. As a result, the relationship between them gradually became a normal classmate interaction.
3, trust instead of criticism, properly handle.
Once puppy love happens, you must not kill it with a stick, but you must give tolerance and understanding to your puppy love classmates. The head teacher must know the psychological changes of students in time in order to do a good job in all aspects.
There is a boy in the class, Zhang Moumou, who is cheerful, intelligent and studious. However, he has been in a bad mood recently. He is always listless in class and seldom takes part in class activities, so his academic performance has dropped a lot. Through observation and various understandings, I am sure that he is "in love". I talked to him many times and said that I would help him deal with this matter. But no matter how I guide him, he just won't reveal who the girl is, but I already know who the girl is in my heart. He promised me that he would handle it himself, but after a week, he was still the same. I found the right opportunity, changed his seat, and quietly arranged for him a girl he liked. My point is that since he has a crush on her, as the saying goes, "distance makes beauty", he doesn't want to study until there is a distance between them. I asked them to sit together. Will he be like that without distance? As it turns out, I did nothing wrong. Now he is not as enterprising as before, and he has regained his original liveliness ... >>
Question 4: How to treat puppy love correctly is very important. Many parents feel ashamed, but they are not. There is nothing wrong with puppy love, as long as it is given correct guidance.
Question 5: How do teenagers view puppy love has advantages and disadvantages. Just look at how you handle the relationships and ways of doing things in the process of puppy love, and don't affect your studies and friends and family around you. Generally, a good first love will make us look forward to love, while a bad first love will make some people with fragile hearts hate love, so the key to puppy love is two protagonists, and the mentality determines everything.
Question 6: How to treat the problem of puppy love correctly? In recent years, puppy love among middle school students has become more and more prominent. As we all know, the side effects of puppy love are related to students' personal future and happiness, while the big ones are related to social peace and the future of the motherland. Therefore, it is still an urgent educational problem for us to deal with the problem of puppy love among middle school students.
1. Educate teenagers. The purpose is to let students know about adolescent health care knowledge, so as to reduce vague and impulsive feelings towards the opposite sex and reduce the proportion of puppy love. To some extent, it is the root to solve the problem of puppy love.
2. Educate students to be positive and self-respecting. Our teacher must not look at puppy love students with strange eyes. On the contrary, we should educate them to be positive and know how to respect and love themselves. If they really know how to respect and love themselves, they will be positive and will not indulge in puppy love.
Understand, don't be careless. With the progress of the times and the change of people's ideas, it is a good thing for both boys and girls to learn to be different. Puppy love is not a scourge. The more you suppress his desire, the more attractive his furtive love becomes. So, you should allow him to have proper contact.
4. Be tolerant and have more understanding of teenagers. By making friends with students, these middle school students can correctly handle the relationship between classmates and lovers, make clear the main tasks of middle schools, and thus focus on their studies.
5. Learn to respect students and enrich their social life as much as possible. The direct cause of a considerable number of students' puppy love is the narrow social scope. If we try to expand their communication team instead of being alone with a different person, we can avoid many sour puppy love.
6. Teachers should actively guide students to deal with emotional problems. Teachers should not help them as educators, but as elders who have experienced similar difficulties. Attitude should be sincere communication, help students to re-position and cultivate confidence in pursuing their ideals. It is advisable to communicate separately, respect students' personality and their pure feelings.
7. Close cooperation between home and school. With the cooperation of parents and teachers, it is no longer a problem to give full play to students' subjective initiative. Of course, the spiritual civilization construction of the whole society will also play an active role in this regard.
8. You can't ignore it or make a mountain out of a molehill. Different education methods should be implemented according to students' different personality characteristics, and some need to carry out individual heart-to-heart education to combine education with heart-to-heart talk; Some only need to pass appropriate forms of "hint" education; Others need quiet reasoning; Some still need to make individual convincing criticism; Some can also skillfully carry out "cold treatment". In short, don't "heat treat"-reprimand in public, which makes students lift their heads.
In a word, teachers must respect students' personality, trace back to the source, guide students with a healthy and positive attitude, and carry out differentiated and targeted physical and mental health education, which will be an effective method.
Question 7: What kind of mentality is puppy love? How to face parents correctly? Don't artificially exaggerate this feeling, let alone consciously encourage it. Especially the teachers in schools have the greatest influence on students. It is necessary to enlighten students to treat their admired classmates equally, because this feeling is only a temporary impulse, and it will fade automatically after a long time.
Class teachers and teachers should promptly guide students to restrain their emotional expression with their own will, ask students to restrain their emotional impulses with reason, bury the seeds of love deeply in their hearts, and let students know how to open the flowers of love, which is inseparable from social practice and the test of time.
Puppy love occurs in adolescent children, which is a manifestation of psychological needs and needs the correct guidance of parents, which is beneficial to children's health. On the contrary, it will make children have rebellious psychology and even all kinds of excessive behaviors, which will lead to serious consequences. Therefore, we must face puppy love rationally. Through careful observation, you will find that most children without puppy love are introverted, insensitive to love, old-fashioned, autistic and unsociable, which is unacceptable to society. I don't think you need to ask the girl's parents to make a mountain out of a molehill. Just enlighten your son and don't let him do impulsive things, so you don't need to be so nervous. Besides, if a girl does well in school, he will study hard because of the gap.
Question 8: How to treat young people's puppy love correctly? The fault is not "love", but "puppy love". Love is a natural expression of human beings, and premature love may bring negative effects, especially psychological effects, to immature teenagers. The reasons for puppy love in adolescence are: first, looking for spiritual support, nervous study and great pressure, trying to divert attention; Second, influenced by TV novels and social atmosphere. Young people's puppy love is not terrible, what is terrible is how parents and teachers change. Parents and teachers should be good teachers and friends of their children, and pay more attention to the ways and means of communication for teenagers who are puppy love to prevent conflicts. Parents and teachers should gain their children's trust and make them feel that they are the objects to talk about their confusion. Teenagers who have closed their minds for a long time are more likely to tell their privacy, so that parents and teachers can prescribe the right medicine and educate them well. Parents should not treat puppy love as a bad thing, but treat it calmly. If parents panic and can't control their emotions, how can they communicate with their children and solve things? Parents actively communicate with their children, not just asking about grades, but starting with topics that children are interested in, talking about skills, thinking calmly, and getting ideal educational results. Create a harmonious and warm atmosphere in the family, make children feel safe, and find that children have a tendency to puppy love. Parents should analyze the reasons and think of more suitable guiding methods to solve the situation of puppy love. Parents often keep in touch with the school and find that their children are puppy love. Parents and teachers are neither relaxed nor too nervous. The most important thing for children's puppy love education and guidance is that parents should communicate openly with their children and share their emotional experiences with them. Loudi inspirational education experts send parents a word: be friends with children!
Question 9: How should middle school students treat puppy love correctly? 1. Respect their innocent feelings and don't label them puppy love easily.
-Boys and girls should be more intimate. Send a few short messages on their mobile phones, send a few different cards during the Chinese New Year and the holidays, write a few playful "love words" and say "I like you" in a broad sense. One night when I came home late, my parents were nervous and thought they were "playing with friends" and "puppy love", so it was easy to label themselves as "puppy love". Let the beautiful pure feelings lose their luster. In this way, I pushed myself into the mud pit of "puppy love"-in fact, there are many cases of "puppy love" in which the parties are unconscious at first ("pseudo-puppy love") and finally forced to be conscious.
The first and most important thing is to find out why Chuchu likes being together (so-called "love"): perhaps it is the warmth left by an umbrella in the rain; Perhaps it is the worship of experts who solve difficult problems; Perhaps it is the loyal attraction of tall and handsome men (or the innocence of beautiful and smart girls). These are pure, pure and lovely. We should respect and trust the innocent feelings between children and don't deny them easily.
Some parents and teachers give up on themselves because they don't understand the pressure of study, and they are eager to have a friend of the same age who can listen patiently.
2. Use the method of "cold treatment"
-if there are signs of "puppy love"-be calm, tolerant and understanding, don't worry and don't be afraid;
The effective way is to adopt a small-scale, calm, harmonious, tolerant and very patient way of "whispering", which not only protects your privacy, but also respects your personality and emotions. This helps to calm yourself down, listen to the opinions of parents and teachers, and re-examine everything in the past.
3. Share the pain with others and patiently get out of the misunderstanding of "puppy love".
"Puppy love" children are also very upset and need someone to share the pain.
This problem arises from the contradiction between the peak of students' physical development and the insufficient psychological development caused by the rapid development of society. With the arrival of adolescence, the wonderful changes of the body will make children at a loss, because their psychological development can not meet the needs of the peak period of physical development. So there are many contradictions, distress and confusion. These "confusions, bitterness, affection, friendship and true self" have become a kind of "growing confusion".
-children with good academic performance should find ways to find out the real reasons and countermeasures.
Guided by a well-known story: a hungry and thirsty traveler rested in a cave and accidentally found a vase in the cave and took it away. He was exhausted and unable; It would be a pity to give up. What shall we do? Finally, he thought of a new way: bury it and mark it. Dig it out when you have the ability in the future. Burying is a wise way to kill two birds with one stone.
Let go of the ideological burden, encourage yourself to be far-sighted and write the best and most wonderful life answers to the people of the motherland and parents of the school!
-Children with learning difficulties should focus on improving their learning methods, work with parents and teachers to check for missing parts, and analyze how to change their learning methods and cultivate their learning ability, especially lifelong learning ability, so as to get themselves out of the learning dilemma. At the same time, we should find our own strengths, potential strengths and advantages, develop personal hobbies and enhance self-confidence.
Inductive summary
Look at it correctly and deal with it calmly
Let the mood develop in a positive direction.
Make yourself not limited to emotions, and get more comprehensive development. Become a better person.
Question 10: How to correctly educate puppy love children? Middle school students' love is naive, love is very rare, and lovelorn is almost the inevitable result of middle school students' love. The influence of lovelorn on the soul can sometimes affect a person's life. Many middle school students have the same mentality as this 14-year-old girl, from unrequited love to being unable to extricate themselves. It can be said that they have tasted the ups and downs of love. Surveys from all sides show that puppy love has brought great misfortune to people.
A 14-year-old female middle school student said, "I often stay with a male classmate in my class and have a good impression on each other." He told me in his letter that he liked being with me. Because of other students, he can't tell me what he thinks. I hope I have the same advantages as him: many ideas, good study and wide knowledge. Whenever I'm with him. I have a sweet feeling in my heart, especially when I receive his letter. I always think of him in my heart. When you sleep at night and close your eyes, his image comes to mind. Frequent insomnia and poor academic performance. My mother asked me yesterday that I have lost weight these days. I really don't know what to say.
Some people call this situation puppy love. Puppy love has become a common psychological problem among middle school students and even high school students. Psychologists investigated the love situation of 726 middle school students, and found that the students who have a secret crush, fall in love and fall out of love account for 1 1.43%, 4.55% and 2.34% of the total students respectively. Moreover, their mental health is not optimistic. Unrequited love students often have emotional instability, irritability, depression, inattention, insomnia, emaciation and other physical and mental symptoms, which can cause psychological and physical diseases in severe cases.
Parents and teachers become policemen in the relationship between middle school students and different people, and the red light is on. So should middle school students fall in love? The answer is of course no.
First of all, middle school students are not mature enough to be human. My views on the world and society are still naive and in a turbulent period. Today, the two people may still be very speculative, and they may go their separate ways in a few years. Secondly, physical and mental development is still immature. Middle school students may have a "blind sense of maturity". Like self-righteousness, emotional impulse, poor self-control. Most importantly, your career direction is far from certain. Middle school is the age of all-round development and the age with the strongest thirst for knowledge, so your focus should be on learning. Some students think that "as long as two like-minded, falling in love will not affect their study" is not objective. In fact, when your emotions are always led by someone, it is impossible for you not to be distracted in your studies, and the decline in your grades is inevitable.
If you are unfortunately caught in the quagmire of "puppy love", maybe it is unrequited love, suffering from fear or not knowing how to express your love to the boy (girl) you have admired for a long time, maybe you are in the sweet moisture of love, or you have written a love letter to each other but there is no response, so you are in the distress of lovelorn. In any case, you should realize that you need to control your feelings calmly. Here are a few tricks for everyone to rationally freeze the puppy love that has already appeared.
Treat courtship letters correctly. It seems that the best way for middle school students to express hazy love is to write love letters. Adolescent boys and girls are full of curiosity and yearning for the opposite sex. I often can't restrain my inner impulse, pour my inner love and affection into my pen, and convey my love to each other through love letters. This is a very normal performance. However, this does not mean that middle school students can let their feelings develop freely without restraint. From the above cases, we know that. The taste of puppy love is bitter after all. So, how to treat the courtship letter correctly?
The most inappropriate way is to write back to the other party immediately and reprimand others; Report to the teacher. Ask teachers to punish "pursuers"; Tell your family, ask your parents to help you solve it, and make the contents of the letter public in the whole class, so that the other party is ashamed.
Imagine what is wrong with the above four practices. If you put yourself in the other person's shoes, I write you a love letter just to express your affection and admiration. If the other party has no "obscene, indecent" words or purposes, then if you take these measures, it will not only hurt your classmates' self-esteem, but also affect your normal friendship. The result of doing this is often to lose another friend who cares about you.
So what is the right thing to do? The best way is freezing. The so-called freezing means that you should clearly express your attitude of stopping puppy love that has arrived or is coming soon. But the premise is: respect others and don't hurt others' self-esteem. The feeling of first love is often pure and sincere. We should protect and guide him, not destroy him Never be cynical, let alone rudely stop it. However, freezing does not mean extinction. On the one hand, freezing means not talking about love ... >>