Student A entered Taiyuan Center of Beijing Starting Point Education in late June 2008 to make up lessons. On October 26th, 65438/kloc-0, the center conducted a "self-evaluation" survey on the student.

The students' evaluation of themselves is: "I am lazy, I don't like studying very much, I like learning things other than textbooks, I like discovering knowledge by myself, and I don't like being reminded;" Introverted, not very sociable; Hate to do problems, like to think independently; If you are not satisfied with your present grades, you should change your learning style and improve your learning efficiency. Hope to improve learning motivation; My parents are very strict, they don't let me play self-centered games, they don't give me freedom, and they stop my leisure time on the premise of grades. I hope my parents will understand me, give me time to play computer games, stop talking about me all the time, don't use crowd tactics on me, and take me shopping and watching movies. My life is very unhappy, because I have no time to play, and my parents always keep a straight face and don't let me go out to play. "

At the same time, we also ask students to make sentences with 20 words "I". Through sentence analysis, we find that the student lives in severe mental depression and has a strong desire and impulse to get rid of it.

When talking to students alone, I found that students are not confident enough, and generally do not take the initiative to send out communication intentions, belonging to self-protection students. It is understood that the student's parents divorced and have been living with his father. He hasn't seen his mother for many years. His father always lets the student study and then study. Generally, children stay in their rooms to study on rest days. Children claim that they actually sit there and don't study at all.

Second, the attribution analysis

1. Students' cognition of learning is biased. "I like to discover knowledge by myself, not what is in textbooks" just reflects the contradictory characteristics of junior high school students' pursuit of independence, self-consciousness expansion and naive thinking, which is a major reason why students do not attach importance to textbook knowledge learning and affect their academic performance;

2. Students' negative self-evaluation of "I am lazy" is a major reason for students' lack of motivation to learn, which easily leads to laziness in learning, and this negative self-evaluation often comes from the negative accusations of adults around them. It is this kind of hat given by adults that leaves this negative self-evaluation in students' subconscious, so this subconscious may always jump out to give students a legitimate reason when they don't want to study: "I am lazy." This is also a major reason that affects students' learning initiative.

3. Parents pay more attention to their children's learning, not their physical and psychological needs. The practice of forcing students to "indulge in learning" with high-pressure control and sea tactics directly leads to students' aversion to learning and rebellious psychology of doing problems, which makes students have a painful learning experience and keeps their brains in a state of inhibition. Even if he seems to be sitting there studying, the effect and efficiency of learning have already been reduced, not to mention the practice of forcing children to study blindly has produced students' rebellious psychology.

4. Parents' divorce is one of the reasons for children's direct introversion and excessive self-protection, and the father's excessive control is a major reason for the students' psychological stress.

5. Learning methods that like thinking but don't like doing problems are not conducive to the improvement of students' academic performance.

To sum up, the center gave the corresponding counseling strategies in time.

Third, counseling strategies.

1. The academic director talks with students to correct their wrong cognition of learning, change their cognitive view of not attaching importance to textbooks and attach importance to textbook learning.

2. Correct the negative cognitive evaluation, give students positive psychological hints, and ask them to give themselves psychological hints every day, such as: I am a happy and loving person, and I study hard. ...

3. When tutoring students, simplify the types and quantity of questions to help them build their interest in doing problems.

4. Give parents advice on family education and change educational concepts and methods. The original proposal is as follows:

(1) Give children some space to adjust their learning mood.

Judging from the student's "self-evaluation", we think that the student has an abnormal sense of boredom in learning, and his motivation and enthusiasm for learning are not very high. He has great negative feelings about "sea tactics" and "never stop to solve problems", and he has a sense of oppression in his heart, which is exactly what our parents should pay attention to. Because emotions will not only be conducive to learning, but also hinder learning. A good mood can make the brain in an excited state, and the brain in an excited state can double the learning efficiency; On the other hand, bad emotions will put the brain in a state of inhibition, and once the brain is in a state of inhibition, it will not be able to actively accept effective learning information, and the learning efficiency will be greatly reduced. Parents often look like children sitting there studying, but in fact, the learning effect has been greatly reduced, or it has been ineffective learning. Therefore, parents should pay attention to regulating their children's learning mood in their daily life, and try to make their children combine work and rest, that is, after studying, let their children do some extracurricular activities, such as playing ball games, listening to music, watching TV, chatting, walking, reading their favorite health novels and magazines. Let your children have a relaxing space outside of study, and let them completely relieve the fatigue and pressure of study by leaving the learning environment properly, so as to achieve the purpose of relaxation and relaxation. If parents blindly ask their children to learn without considering their playful nature, it may be counterproductive and lead to learning rebellion under the pressure of blind learning and sea tactics. When children are bored with learning, the brain will be instinctively inhibited when children face learning, which is the natural enemy to improve their academic performance.

Therefore, we suggest that parents should try their best to grasp the relationship between children's study, life and play, and pay attention to regulating their learning emotions, so that children can face learning with good emotions and learn happily and effectively. In terms of methods, we suggest that parents and children agree on a timetable for one week. For example, children are required to have half a day of free activities every week. During this time, parents don't have to arrange study for their children. Children can freely choose to go to the computer, watch TV, do sports or play with classmates and friends. During this time, parents don't have to interfere too much with their children.

(2) Give children more love and trust.

From questionnaires and conversations with students, we feel that the student is not very confident. "introverted, not very communicative" is his evaluation of himself. In the conversation with him, we can also feel the student's silence and unwillingness to communicate actively. Generally speaking, children's self-confidence may come from the depression of childhood life or the negative comments of adults around them. Adults around me include parents, kindergarten teachers, school teachers and so on. Therefore, we recommend that parents:

First, we can give our children as much love and care as possible, and let them grow up in the joy of love, which is very beneficial to their personality development throughout their lives, because the love between parents and children can affect too many things, and this love should come from parents, not one of them. Fatherly love and maternal love are very important to children.

Second, when giving love to children, don't attach any conditions. Parents should love their children selflessly. For example, you can't play until you study hard. I'll buy this for you when your grades go up. Wait, conditional love will be greatly discounted.

Thirdly, it is better for parents to spend some time with their children instead of always being busy with work or housework. For example, they can spare half a day or one night every week to go shopping, watch movies, go shopping or chat at home with their children. This will not only enhance the affection between children and parents, but more importantly, we may become children's good friends through chatting and so on. Once we become children's good friends, we may also go into children's inner world and understand their thoughts, so that we can guide and inspire children in time and help them grow up correctly, because generally speaking, education with good parent-child relationship will be effective, just as good relationship between leaders and subordinates will be beneficial to work.

Fourth, when educating their children, parents should try to avoid rushing for success, learn to wait patiently for their children's growth, and children sometimes have the process and time to realize the truth, so don't constantly blame and blame their children for a mistake, learn to respect and trust them, and believe that children can correct their bad behavior in the future. Too much preaching often does not produce good results.

Fifth, we should avoid criticizing children with negative words. Instead, we should adopt a four-step method to correct mistakes when children have bad behavior: (1) It is wrong to tell children in time when bad behavior occurs; (2) Patiently tell children the causes and harm of this behavior; (3) Tell children what the correct way should be in gentle language; And (4) tell parents sincerely that I believe he can do well in the future. When a child often lives with the positive praise of the adults around him, the child will gradually become confident and do better and better.

In addition, parents should learn to chat patiently with their children and must learn to listen carefully to their children. In fact, children grow up slowly, and children also need our parents to respect them and communicate with us on an equal footing, especially in adolescence like junior high school. With the enhancement of individual autonomy, junior high school students will urgently ask parents and teachers to respect their opinions. Therefore, parents should pay special attention to learning to respect their children at this time. Listen to and refer to children's opinions as much as possible. Even if you have different opinions, you should communicate patiently first, or try to convince your child. Never force children to listen to their own opinions, otherwise it will only make them rebel, go to extremes and make education detour. Parents are advised to chat more with their children and not to ignore their mental health; Parents are advised to encourage their children and cultivate their self-confidence; Parents are advised to get in touch with the school teacher, hoping that the teacher will encourage and praise their children.

(3) Help children choose some healthy and beneficial extracurricular reading materials.

Extracurricular reading is an indispensable spiritual food for today's students, and it is also the potential ability of children to compete with the future. Therefore, parents are advised to visit bookstores with their children as much as possible and choose some healthy and meaningful books and magazines for their children. Of course, we can't ignore children's interests (interest is the best enlightener of human learning). If parents can accompany their children to read extracurricular books, so much the better.

Fourth, the counseling effect.

At present, the student feels very good at studying in the center and hopes to continue studying.

[Family Education Guidance Case]

Dad, I am the happiest today!

—— A family education guidance case with the theme of "Playing is children's nature and being children's happy playmates".

Xiao Yong Guo Ruxiang

Notes before the text of a book or after the title of an article.

Psychologists and educators point out that children are active learners, and they are naturally curious to explore the surrounding environment. Games provide them with rich learning content and opportunities for exploration and discovery. For children, play and study cannot be separated. It is in the process of playing that children want to learn by watching, listening, doing and thinking.

When playing games with children, many parents will find that children's interests are often completely different from ours. Therefore, in order to enter the child's world and become his playmate, parents should first be good at observing children, and at the same time let go of all adult views and truly understand their needs and ideas.

Guiding object

Parents of Yong Xiao Si (1)

Time and place of activity

School psychological counseling room

Problem and situation analysis

1. Some parents can't look at their children's play objectively. They think that children's study and play are two different things. They think that playing is a random and idle thing. Without a clear purpose, children can't learn useful knowledge in playing. This kind of understanding and attitude of parents shows that they don't understand the learning style and process that children should have, which will greatly affect their learning and development.

2. When children reach the senior grade of primary school, their learning tasks are aggravated, their learning difficulties are increased, and the learning gap between students is widened. In addition, their rebellious mentality is also enhanced at this age. Some parents are prone to impatience and disappointment in the process of educating their children. Once their academic performance drops or there are problems, they will be at a loss except to blame.

3, children will also have some problems in the process of getting along with their playmates. Parents should understand, treat objectively, guide in time and teach their children some correct coping methods.

Expected target

Let parents experience and feel some ways to get close to their children:

A, get close to nature with children, let children know some truths in nature and increase some knowledge.

B, play games with children, communicate with each other through games, and share happy experiences, thus establishing a spiritual bond between parents and children.

C, be a good friend of the child, learn to kneel down and talk to the child with an equal attitude, so that parents can get the friendship of the child.

D, occasionally bring some gifts to children and give them a little surprise.

E, often holding family forums can not only create a harmonious family atmosphere, but also allow children to participate in the discussion of family events, which plays a great role in the development of children's self-esteem, self-confidence and thinking ability.

Wonderful review

An activity

There is fierce competition between parents and children in this activity. Divide the children's team and the parents' team into two groups and have a competition of observation and memory ability. The teacher set a question to see which team did the exercises quickly and accurately. After several rounds, some parents' big hands are really not as good as their children's small hands. At that time, I asked the following questions:

The rule is: the teacher shows the pictures in turn, and asks to reproduce the color combination after observing for five seconds. The first question, parents still don't understand what is going on. They just think the colorful flowers are dazzling, but the children have finished the operation, and 100% is correct. When the child tells the rules of color combination, parents suddenly realize. In the following questions, parents began to learn to find the rules, but they were still not as fast as children. Later, parents asked for an extension.

Check the time, but the correct rate is less than 100%.

After the activity, Wang Jiasheng's father said, "Although we lost to the children, we felt happy because we saw the potential of the children in the activity." Participatory parent-child activities have brought parents back to their long-lost childhood. Many parents said, "Today's activities seem to bring us back to the childhood classroom. Unfortunately, at that time, we could only listen to the teacher empty-handed. Now, the children are really happy! "

Through this kind of participatory activities, let the children feel that I am better than my parents, and let the children experience the pride and happiness of success again.

Activity 2

The game of grabbing chairs lets several children and parents walk around the chairs (the number of chairs is less than the number of people). When the music stopped, they sat down immediately. People who don't sit in their seats are eliminated. Others continue to follow the music when they pick up their chairs. The game goes round, and the last person left wins.

Activity 3: Test

Parents present, do you know your children? Are their friends accepted by their children? Complete the following questions and you will find a satisfactory answer. (Mom and Dad Group)

Do you hug children?

Do you know who the child's good friend is?

Do you know about children's happiness?

Do you know when children are unhappy?

Can you share his happiness and troubles?

Will the child tell you if he has something on his mind?

Do you know about children's hobbies?

Do you love your parents, son? Love needs to be expressed. Did you make them feel your love in 2008? (children's group)

Do you know when mom and dad's birthday is?

Do you know what mom likes best?

Do you know how big shoes dad wears?

How do you behave when mom and dad come home from work?

Activity 4: Discussion and communication

The boy Zhang Yi's father spoke first. His Game Education Law was well received by the teachers and parents present. Dad Zhang attaches great importance to cultivating his son's emotional intelligence. In the process of education, he noticed that his son was sometimes impatient and easily rebelled against structured critical education. What shall we do? In the process of exploration, Dad Zhang found a method of game education: he would try his best to find time to be his son's playmate, communicate with his son in a relaxed and pleasant environment, point out his son's shortcomings, and let his son receive education in a happy atmosphere.

One day when he came home from work, his father Zhang found his son sitting on the sofa with a sullen face instead of skipping to meet him as usual. "What's the matter? You can hang an oil bottle with a pout. " Dad Zhang joked. "Mom, she ..." Her son's eyes were red and his face was wronged. It turned out that Zhang Yi came home very late and made up his homework at school. The impatient mother scolded her son without knowing that he was playful. After a boring dinner, father Zhang decided to take his son to "go crazy" to mediate his emotions. As a result, two hilarious figures, one big and one small, appeared on the lawn of the community. My son showed a happy smile. During the "half-time", Dad Zhang pushed the boat with the current, analyzed the reasons for his son, and told him that no matter what happened, he should first put his mind at peace. In fact, his mother is out of love for him, but this way needs to be corrected ... Zhang Yi listened to his father's words and thought for a while and said, "I'm not right either. I want to go home and say sorry to my mother. " In this way, Zhang Dad untied the knot for his son during the relaxed game, which also made the family atmosphere more harmonious. Teacher Zhang said that active and equal communication with children is not only conducive to children's physical and mental growth, but also enhances parent-child relationship. When playing with children, educating them with a happy mood will make them more willing to accept it. Teacher Zhang also told the parents present that in the process of children's growth, in addition to eating and wearing warm clothes, they also need parents' companionship and care. They are bound to encounter difficulties and setbacks. At this time, parents should give their children directions and help them rebuild their confidence.

Activity effect

After the activity, every child's face was filled with bright smiles and joy. Wu said to his father, "Dad, I am the happiest today!" " "

A father put it this way: "If you don't spend some time with your children, it's no use stressing how to communicate with them. When you share a happy time with your child, it is the best opportunity for you to communicate with your child. "

A mother said this; "It is very important to be with children. We often walk together and wash dishes together, so that we can have a long talk. This is a good time to talk. Even if you are busy, you can certainly find time, because it is also an easy occasion to talk. Imagine someone asking you to sit down and say,' Let's talk'. How blunt. " She said that active and equal communication with children is not only conducive to children's physical and mental growth, but also enhances parent-child relationship. When playing with children, educating them with a happy mood will make them more willing to accept it. She also told the parents present that in the process of children's growth, in addition to eating and wearing warm clothes, they need their parents' companionship and care. They are bound to encounter difficulties and setbacks. At this time, parents should give their children directions and help them rebuild their confidence.

Reflection game is to make life interesting, that is, to be with children. Using wisdom to make children happy and make themselves happy is the true meaning of being a game parent.

In the process of school education, we often find some special children who don't abide by the rules of the game when interacting with children of the same age, so there are many interpersonal problems. Careful teachers will also find that some of these problems are due to improper educational methods, which run counter to parents and school education. Then, teachers should give parents proper guidance here.