If you meet a person with similar personality and material conditions.
Excellent, high emotional value, and posted to you.
It's good to be single-minded. We all want to be single-minded.
See him like this.
But such a perfect lover is not only hard to meet in this life.
Next life will be difficult. Sweet, happy, quarrel, break up.
The combination is interspersed back and forth, which is the normal state of human love.
You can't know yourself until you hit someone else.
Yohji yamamoto once had a saying that was widely circulated on the Internet: "You can't see yourself. When you hit something else and bounce back, you will really know yourself. I am a very abstract existence. From ancient philosophy to modern philosophy, no one can answer this question for thousands of years. However, the creator has left some opportunities for human beings who want to explore the proposition of "self". When we meet others and collide with those who are very powerful, terrible and have high standards, a small number of people will take this as an opportunity and a starting point to start thinking about what "self" really is.
Setbacks make people grow, and setbacks in love are also growth.
To lose weight, you must eat less and exercise more; If you want to grow muscles, you have to do strength training to tear the muscles, and then add protein to make the muscles grow; People can't grow and break through in a comfortable environment. The process of human growth is a process of frustration and reflection. In frustration education, boys are much better than girls.
They have been repeatedly beaten and scolded since they were young, especially
Emotionally, being rejected, being denied and being asked to be strong is forbidden to show weakness.
Avoidant attachment is a representative figure who has been tempered. Every time she shows weakness, she gets criticism or indifferent comfort of "you should be strong and brave". After a long time, she will become extremely independent, unwilling to rely on others, and habitually maintain a sense of boundaries and distance. From this perspective, avoidance is actually a precocious person. Of course, this is also the most uncomfortable place for many girls to fall in love with them.
Be a princess or a female warrior?
Girls are not encouraged to receive frustration education. The mainstream education that girls have received since childhood is to be gentle, obedient and sensible ladies, and few girls are required to be independent, brave and strong female warriors. You can rely on your parents when you are young, your boyfriend when you fall in love, and your husband when you get married. But the flowers in the greenhouse are very fragile in the real world. Once the greenhouse is gone, it will be a disaster.
Running away is really a kind of torture.
But it's also an opportunity to get to know yourself again. Escape is actually very strong in feelings. Their sweetness and stickiness can only appear in the early stage of entering feelings, which is only a short-term reaction under the action of hormones. Once the relationship is stable, the focus of avoidance will immediately turn to studies, careers and other aspects. If your partner is too sticky, it will affect your study or career development, and it will definitely drift away. This is indeed a kind of selfishness, but it is also a kind of rationality.
Avoidance will not immerse yourself in the world of love for too long.
Love is not their purpose in life, let alone their top priority. In fact, love and marriage are both life experiences, which are not enough to be the whole meaning of our lives. Learning knowledge, improving yourself, developing your career and exploring the world are all more important than love. When you don't stick to the morning and evening, but focus on developing yourself to learn, improve and make money, love is near.