Because everyone who is about to get married knows that the relationship between them will change qualitatively from now on. Love is free, we can meet whenever we want, but we are together every day after marriage. During the period of love, if you are in a bad mood, you can cancel the appointment and do whatever you want. However, after marriage, this is not the case. Even if you are in a bad mood, you should go to work and earn money to support your family. After returning home, I have to cook, buy food, wash dishes and wash clothes, and educate my children. People get married to meet their own emotional needs, stable needs and the need to carry on the family line. Marriage is a contract. From then on, both of them have to do what they should do, take responsibility and fulfill their obligations, and naturally they have to pay a certain price.
It is precisely because of the changes in the above-mentioned angles and the contrast in lifestyle that some people who are about to enter the marriage hall have an unpredictable and inexplicable anxiety about the future life situation.
You must comfort yourself and tell yourself, a flower, a sedan chair, you can only wear such a hat on your head! This is a negative way, at least not a solution, but it has its function, at least it can make one party calm down and face up to his marriage. If you think the other person is not good, it is because you haven't done enough. After all, marriage is not a child's play, separation and engagement can be taken in stride, so no matter how serious the symptoms are, we should take "cherish" as the overall situation and tolerate each other. It is better to bump into each other's old age than to go their separate ways casually and leave regrets that can never be made up.
I wish you happiness! Happiness!
2. What should I do if I am nervous before marriage?
Marriage is a great event in life. Some people even think that marriage can change a person's life, which may be the beginning of happiness or the prelude to tragedy. Some young men and women have a romantic expectation for their married life, and they are more worried and nervous. To eliminate pre-marital tension, we should be prepared in two aspects:
(1) Before marriage, it is not enough to know the physical structure and function of yourself and your partner. It is very necessary to conduct a comprehensive premarital examination and consultation in the health care department of the relevant hospital. If there is abnormal development or deformity of reproductive organs, such as female hymen atresia and congenital absence of * * *, it is impossible to have the same room. You must undergo surgery and correction before you can get married. If you get married rashly, it will bring a shadow to the newly married family.
(2) Young people must also be fully prepared for the puzzling question on their wedding night, that is, "chastity". Some people regard the hymen of women as extremely important because of the influence of traditional ideas. If the woman's fetal membrane is found broken on the wedding night, it is considered that the woman is "unfaithful", which will lead to endless troubles and even tragedy. In fact, some girls are born with a thick hymen, some have no hymen, and some may have been injured while participating in sports, such as riding a bicycle. If they don't have a basic understanding of these physiological phenomena, the woman will be agitated and disgusted, and the man will sharply reprimand, which will inevitably lead to family conflicts and even the breakdown of marriage.
(3) Marriage is a dynamic process. Only by eliminating all kinds of psychological tension before marriage and constantly adjusting after marriage can the married life be happy.
I will be nervous before getting married.
According to Zhao Yan, the chief physician of the psychology department of Tongren Hospital, the symptoms of premarital discomfort first appeared in the stage of talking about marriage, mainly because of doubts and fears about the durability of marriage.
First of all, this fear comes from the negative "propaganda" of public opinion on marriage life. The analysis of various marriage problems by some media exposes the dark side of marriage too much, which makes people who have "intention to get married" feel an invisible pressure, resulting in excessive anxiety about the "direction" of marriage life and fear of marriage failure. Another reason is that one party is not very satisfied with some aspects of the other party, or doubts whether some shortcomings of the other party can be changed after marriage and whether they can adapt themselves. The second stage is the "symptoms" such as fear, tension and anxiety that appear one month or one week before marriage.
Different from the first stage, the reason of "fear of marriage" at this time is the "expansion" of the difficulty of married life. According to Zhao Yan, the proportion of men and women who are afraid of marriage is roughly the same, but the content of fear is different.
Men are more afraid than women. Generally speaking, women are worried about the short-term and current family life after marriage, including the handling and coordination with family members such as father-in-law, mother-in-law and sister-in-law; Because I can't do housework, I'm worried that others will find fault with me.
Ms. Jia, who has "fled" many times, is a typical example. The reason why she "ran away" was that she felt that she could not afford the married life. At home, she is a nurse, while the father of another family is often ill, and her future mother-in-law is not very good at cooking. She is worried that she will have to learn a lot and take care of others when she arrives at her new "home". She thinks that she may not be able to do it and is afraid that others will find fault with her.
With the help of a psychologist, she had a frank communication with her lover, who promised to help her adapt slowly and build up confidence. After getting married, she found that marriage was not what she thought, and many things naturally adapted.
Zhao Yan said that before she got used to marriage, that kind of tension and fear was inevitable, and it was a bad state of mind. Sometimes, the one who wants to get married suddenly hears that the wedding is going to be cancelled, and suddenly he doesn't get married when he wants to get married three or four days later. He will wonder if the other party doesn't love me at all and now he regrets it. When you are confused, you often can't communicate anymore.
At this time, they need psychological doctors to give them some help, help them relax and find an occasion to fully communicate with each other. In most cases, doctors don't need too much intervention, because there is nothing wrong with their own feelings, and they may just have insufficient communication.
Men's anxiety about marriage in fear of marriage is that they are skeptical about their ability to bear the burden of the family, mainly considering their responsibilities in the family. A few days before marriage, I feel that I have to "carry" so many things after marriage and I will "stand tall". Suddenly, they felt unable to hide it. The subjective conclusion is that the whole burden falls on their shoulders and cannot be borne.
Some men will also consider the relationship with the woman's parents and the problems after the birth of their children in the future. Some people see that colleagues have children soon after marriage, and the couple can't afford diapers and milk powder, so they will think, what should I do if I have children after marriage? In addition, you can't always take care of your family, but you should honor your parents. You used to invite them to dinner and go out to play. Now, are you going to invite them or not? It is unfilial not to invite them. Will they be financially unaffordable? Therefore, the "source" of fear of marriage is mainly to "amplify" the pressure of life.
Symptoms and solutions of fear of marriage: fear of marriage will have an impact on life and work. The usual "symptoms" are irritability, bad temper and irritability. Some people will be silent and unwilling to talk more, which will affect their work and life. If you are worried that you are not suitable for your future life, before you talk about marriage, you should often go to the other person's home to get to know about his or her family, or talk more about his or her family to directly or indirectly understand the living habits of future family members. This process is also a process of psychological adaptation.
When you have doubts and fears about the durability of marriage, you should keep an open mind and be able to communicate with each other in order to dispel this doubt. No matter what happens, like his sudden unwillingness to get married, you may feel uncomfortable, but don't rush to deny the feelings of both sides or ask him or her more. Maybe he (she) has reasons for his (her) concern, and his (her) concern is not necessarily unnecessary, and sometimes it may be practical.
If coordinated, it is also very beneficial to married life.
I was very nervous before getting married. What should I do?
Take a deep breath outdoors every day.
Breathing is a temporary way to relieve mental tension, but it is only a temporary solution, and the most important thing for us is to find the source of tension. I think most women feel uneasy about leaving their home where they have lived for a long time, and this will happen.
Talk to your parents more, talk about your nervous mood, and then get comfort from your parents, and your nervous mood will be relieved. Getting comfort from your fiance is also a way to relieve tension, because he is the person you want to live with after all. If he gives you warmth, then you will depend on him, so you are no longer afraid to marry him.
Chatting with friends more and turning your attention to other places is also a way to relieve tension. You can also sit and chat with those who are happy after marriage and listen to their happy lives, so that you will no longer be afraid of the future and thus eliminate the tension.
What should I do if my first marriage is so tense?
It's normal to get married once in your life, but I still can't help reminding you that marriage doesn't mean the end of love. You should love your wife more after marriage.
Most girls regard the ring as a witness of love, and most of them are caused by watching Korean dramas and novels, you know. And the ring is the key to your new happy life and can make your bride more beautiful. Give her a ring to accompany her for life.
When I got married, my husband customized a Levi's diamond ring for my real name, meaning; "In my name, I will crown you with ten fingers and accompany you all your life." Does it feel great? In particular, it means feeling super good. Wearing this diamond ring is equivalent to wearing all the love my husband gave me.
6. What should I do if I am too nervous about the wedding?
The first time a virgin * * *, accompanied by the rupture of the hymen and the pain of * * *, will have some influence both physically and psychologically.
So for men, this is a test of whether you are a good husband and boyfriend. Psychologically, you should give her enough comfort.
Love her and comfort her. Tell her that this is an essential step to becoming a real woman.
If she says no, you must not force it. You can't do anything stupid to force her.
Not only did you hurt her, but you didn't get pleasure from it, just venting. How can I have a "good" sex life? The following list is not a set of rules.
It is impossible to make rules about sex-what you should pay attention to is what you do to make you feel comfortable and happy. And "feeling good" should last until after sex-you shouldn't get pregnant or get sick afterwards, so it is necessary to do contraception and safe sex in advance.
When should we have sex? It doesn't matter when you have sex. It is important that you and your partner make it happen in a quite comfortable environment.
Some people like dawn, some people like afternoon, and some people like late at night. More important than the times is time.
Give each other more time for the first time together. Weekends are ideal, but including sleep time, there must be at least a whole day.
Should we eat or drink something before going to bed? Don't eat too much, it will only make you sleepy. Eat a small amount of food and don't drink too much alcoholic drinks.
A little alcohol will help you relax, but it will also make it a little harder for men to get an erection, but anyway, you will spend more time in bed than in the bathroom, right? Where should we be? Among them * * * may be a more important issue. Finding a place where you can have privacy for more than 48 hours is not easy for people who plan their virginity.
But it was worth it. The car is too big to be inside, but it is not private enough outdoors. There are too many bugs, sand and unwanted branches and wood.
A comfortable bed is still the best choice for * * *. You'd better have your own room, comfortable, warm and spacious, with a bathroom and shower. If you are going to * * *, then you may have contacted before.
Take time to get to know each other's bodies. * * * That's the way it is.
What should we prepare? Prepare something that makes you feel comfortable. Contraceptive products, condoms, or your favorite pillow or bathrobe.