Recently, the Oriental Moon Consultant received such a consultation.
Consultant: The child is eight years old. At dinner, he had a conflict with his father. The father told the child to go away. At this time, I thought of what Mr. Li said before, when there is a contradiction between father and son or when one parent disciplines the child, the other side of the family can't stand on either side. I wonder, why?
Oriental Moon Consultant: Parents who ask this question must especially want to protect their children on their side. In fact, this matter is not absolute.
If a family member loses his mind or is in a state of madness and rage, it will do harm to the child, so he must stand up and protect the child. For example, when the father and the child have conflicts, they say to the child, go away. When this violent language appears, mothers can choose to talk to their children in a quiet place.
First, don't let children have hatred and hatred for their father, so that children will lose a father who can rely on and bring warmth.
Second, discuss with the children how to solve the conflict just now and how to do it without causing dad's anger. In this way, a father who may hurt his children's language and behavior will become an educational opportunity to help children learn how to protect themselves. Learn how to protect yourself, not how to fight with each other, but how not to irritate each other and let them attack us, so we must pay attention to turning some unfavorable things into advantages. It is good for children to turn unfavorable factors into educational opportunities, which mothers can do.
In fact, a mother can protect her children and then solve this problem with them. It's not on the children's side.
Standing on the child's side means standing with the child, accusing the father to his face and confronting him. Doing so is tantamount to giving the child a wrong demonstration and letting the child start to confront his father, which is not good for the child.