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A humorous short story about Lu Xun.
1934 Chen Liang, mayor of Beiping, Kuomintang, banned male and female students from swimming together. Hearing this, Mr. Lu Xun said to several young friends, "Men and women are not allowed to travel together. If men and women breathe air together, it will confuse Gan Kun. Is it not more serious than swimming together? " Mayor lyna might as well simply give an order that men and women should wear gas masks when they go out. It doesn't circulate air and won't appear. In this way; Everyone is here! Here! ..... "With that, Mr. Lu Xun leaned his head back slightly and simulated the pipe of the gas mask with his hand ... Everyone laughed at Mr. Lu Xun's words and deeds.

1934 Human magazine opened a column of "Interview with Writers" to cooperate with the publication of portraits of interviewed writers. The editor of the magazine wrote to Lu Xun, asking for permission to interview, and took a photo with the study as the background, and then took a photo of Lu Xun with Xu Guangping and Zhou Haiying. Lu Xun wrote a humorous letter and refused: "The writer's name is beautiful, and he didn't respect himself in the past. At one time, he thought he might as well make an example of him. I woke up quietly recently and was ashamed to say it. There is no thought in the brain, and there is no study in the apartment. A lady's son has nothing to do with the literary world and dares not accept three elegant lives. If Mr. Wang writes a short biography for a pseudo-writer another day, he will list books and sweep the floor to welcome him. "

In the 1920s, Chuan Dao, a professor in Peking University, spent most of his time talking about love. He left a student's head, nicknamed "a lock of hair". Lu Xun's A Brief History of Chinese Novels was published and sent to Chuan Dao. On the title page, Lu Xun wrote: Please,/from the "arms of your lover",/extend a hand temporarily,/accept this dry and tasteless "A Brief History of China's Novels". /My dear brother Mao!

Lu Xun's Humor

Original: "China Writers Network"

Shanghai Dajiang Vocational and Technical School: Sun Gang

one

When we mention Lu Xun, we always think of many words: profound, heavy, severe, stubborn, brave and resolute ... Yes, Lu Xun will always be cold and serious in our minds. But this is by no means all he has. Lu Xun is also a man full of sense of humor. That kind of humor is not grandstanding and laughing it off, but an insight, understanding and incisiveness that overflows from the bone marrow. Therefore, we might as well talk about Lu Xun's humor. I think he is no less than professional humor.

188 1 On September 25th, a doll was born, and that person was Lu Xun. Today, his birth, in an inappropriate two-part allegorical saying, is "The Jade Emperor married a land woman-earth-shattering". Because this doomed the birth of a great writer, thinker and revolutionary in China's modern history. But he didn't know that at the time! He was quite naughty and lively when he was a child. His great-grandmother was unsmiling, and all the children were afraid. But he deliberately walked up to his great-grandmother and pretended to fall to the ground, causing the old lady to exclaim, "Oh, Po, the clothes are dirty!" " Then he was satisfied and stopped making trouble. 12 years old, was led by his mother to San Tan to reflect the moon, but he was coy and had a hundred reluctant faces, just like a little yazi who didn't want to go to school now. I don't study hard either, but I miss the story of purple mulberry, bug on the wall and red snake. But after all, he was smart and playful, but he made great achievements later. If today, little Lu Xun will be worshipped as a model of quality education.

Lu Xun is a man who doesn't pay much attention to clothes. He likes to wear robes. Compared with his thin figure, it seems that a robe is more suitable than a suit. However, he is a bit sloppy. He often walks in the dust in his gown, feeling a bit like Kong Yiji, a down-and-out character in his works, so he made a joke: he is often considered a suspicious person in the elevator; Many people saw him and thought he was lucky to find the opium ghost; Sometimes I go to buy medicine, and even the little guy in the pharmacy despises him; Even if they walk in the street, they are often searched by the police. ...

Lu Xun is a man who does not hesitate to cut his braid. At that time, it was as incredible as men wearing skirts. But in the face of ridicule, sarcasm and abuse, he still went his own way. Later, it was basically a flat head (equivalent to the current inch board). His hair is hard, his roots stand up in the wind, and he is like an iron brush. That's so cool. That's so handsome. Nowadays, handsome guys and beautiful women are keen on dyeing their hair and perming their hair, which is nothing compared with Lu Xun.

He is too lazy to get a haircut and often ignores it for months at a time. Friends made fun of him: "Cai Yu, why don't you cut your' soil'?" How ugly! "Lu Xun said solemnly," oh! I'll pay. You look good! "Later, I really couldn't see the past, so I barely got a haircut. Once I walked into a barber shop, the barber didn't know Lu Xun, and when I saw his simple clothes, I thought he must have little money and didn't take a haircut seriously at all. In this regard, Mr. Lu Xun was not only angry, but also gave him a large sum of money at will after the haircut. The barber gave three times the money and was overjoyed. After a while, Lu Xun came for a haircut again. As soon as the barber saw it, he immediately took out all his housekeeping skills and made it "meticulous". His face was full of humility. Without cooking, Lu Xun did not show his generosity, but took out money and counted it to the barber one by one, without giving a penny more. The barber is very confused. " Sir, why did you give this today? Last time you ... "Lu Xun laughed:" Last time you handled it in general, I gave it in general. This time I am serious about geography, so I will give it seriously. " The barber listened like a cloud.

His beard is also very personal. In those years when he came back from studying in Japan, his beard was Japanese-it looked funny at both ends, and he was ridiculed by people around him, saying that he worshipped foreign things and admired foreign things. Lu Xun was very angry and simply changed his beard into the word "one" in official script, and they lived happily ever after.

I have seen photos of Lu Xun when he was young, but I don't think he is very handsome, at least far from the so-called "first handsome man" in Korea and Japan. But Lu Xun has great confidence in himself. Once the British writer Bernard Shaw met him and said that everyone said that you are Gorky of China, but I think you are more beautiful than Gorky. After listening to such praise, Lu Xun was not only humble, but even said, "I will be more beautiful when I am old!" " "This old man is really interesting.

two

Lu Xun has many hobbies. For example, the habit of giving people nicknames since childhood has never changed. As early as when I was studying in San Tan Yin Yue, there was a course called "Dui Ke", which achieved good results and was praised by the teacher, Mr. Shou Jason Wu. Once, a classmate peeked at Mr. Wang's project "Unicorn" and quietly asked him what was good about it. Lu Xun said, "Be kind to four-eyed dogs." Unexpectedly, the man actually answered Mr. Shou like this. Mr. Shou is nearsighted and wears glasses. He was naturally furious, but he covered his eyes with a book and couldn't help laughing. Lu Xun's observation can be described as keen. He gave a vivid name to the girl's crying-"four articles", because when the girl cried, her tears and nose came down! Isn't it four? He is giving a lecture in Peking University. At that time, there was a young professor in Peking University named Chuan Dao, who left a student's head, so he was nicknamed "a pinch of hair" and affectionately called him "a pinch of brother Mao" when they met. What an interesting expert! Moreover, he actually called his lover Xu Guangping "harming the horse", and even came in handy when writing to his mother, saying: Mother, don't worry, harming the horse is very good now ...

Smoking, drinking and drinking tea can be described as Lu Xun's "three addictions". He has always been a heavy smoker. When he was in Beijing, he always smoked Hadmen pickup bags. His posture of holding a cigarette is very special: he holds a cigarette between his thumb and four fingers, not between his forefinger and middle finger (I think he has the demeanor of a modern underworld boss). Another interesting thing is that when smoking in front of people, he always pulls one out of his gray cotton-padded coat and smokes it. It seems that he doesn't like to take out the cigarette case first, then take one out of the cigarette case and stuff it back into the bag. His temper hasn't changed since he arrived in Shanghai. I don't know if I'm afraid of trouble, or if others see that his cigarettes are inferior and feel humiliated.

In addition to his three addictions, he also likes to eat cakes, sweets and other sweets, which is a habit he developed when studying in Japan. Once, someone gave him persimmons, and he liked them very much. He hid them and enjoyed them secretly, but he was reluctant to give them to others! Only when the ladies come to visit will they be generous, because the ladies have a small appetite and can only eat one or two pieces! He can also eat Chili. When he was studying in Jiangnan Naval Academy, he did well in a final exam, and the school gave him a gold medal. Lu Xun didn't take the medal as a sign to show off, but he knew how to benefit. He went to Gulou Street to sell and bought a bunch of red peppers. Every time I study until the dead of night, when it is cold and sleepy, I pick a pepper, divide it into several pieces, chew it in my mouth until my forehead sweats, tears come to my eyes and I hiss. I just felt warm and sleepy, so I held a book and read it again. Now it seems that in addition to being ridiculous, it also gives birth to some feelings. He has a good appetite and likes to eat snake meat, lice and dried plums. Moreover, I have never been stingy with money. I often invite friends to dinner, and I can order several dishes without looking at the menu, such as "Muxiu Meat", "Hot and Sour Belly Sliced", "Fried Walnut Waist", "Three Fresh Iron Pot Eggs" and "Sweet and Sour Soft Slippery Carp Noodles"!

He loves watching movies, and can almost be upgraded from a movie fan to a movie fanatic. Lu Xun didn't see the film for the first time until he was 43, but he couldn't accept it. Lu Xun saw 142 movies during his nine years in Shanghai (46-55 years old). Among them, 1934 had 37 games, 1935 had 36 games, and 19 games before 1936 fell. Almost once a week in the past three years. Good movies are not easy to miss or even watch again; And most of them are leading families, calling relatives and friends and driving together! Interestingly, among the movies imported from abroad, his favorite movie is the jungle of nature, a wild animal movie (equivalent to the recent Animal World). If Lu Xun were alive today, he would be a big fan of Zhong Zhao.

Lu Xun also likes martial arts. He studied judo while studying in Japan, and taught in Shaoxing Fu Middle School after returning home. On a night trip, when I passed a desolate cemetery, I suddenly saw a pale and ghostly thing blocking the road. Lu Xun rushed up and kicked the guy to the ground, running around. It turned out to be a gloomy grave robber. Although Lu Xun is thin, his skill can be seen.

three

Lu Xun in life is humorous, with atmosphere, wisdom, optimism and grace in his humor. Once his niece asked him, "Why is your nose shorter and flatter than my father's?" Lu Xun smiled: "My nose was as high as your father's, but I live in a dark environment and hit a wall everywhere, so my forehead and nose are short!" " "

Some progressive young people in Guangzhou founded the "South China" Literature Society, fearing that the first issue would not be sold, and hoped that Lu Xun would contribute to the first issue. Lu Xun said humorously and seriously, "Publications sell easily. You can write an article to scold me, and my publication sells well! " "

It is inevitable to invite celebrities to give speeches, and Lu Xun is no exception. His speech is full of allusions, full of wit, and is often surrounded by applause and laughter. Once he returned to Peiping from Shanghai, Beijing Normal University invited him to give a speech entitled "Literature and Force". Some students read many articles attacking him in the newspaper, which is unfair to him. In his speech, he said: "Some people say that I came to Peiping this time to grab my job and make a comeback." But please rest assured that I will make a comeback soon. "This sentence immediately attracted laughter at the meeting.

While teaching at Beijing Women's Normal University, a student once went to the park with a boy from another school without his parents' permission. When her parents found out, they ran to the school and made a scene, cursing the lax discipline in the school. The feudal rigid headmaster also called the female students "indecent" like a shrew. Mr. Lu Xun happened to pass by, and after learning the story, he said humorously, "It's sunny now. What's wrong with two young people going to the park together?" Those young people in the park are not allowed to go shopping. Do old men and women have to go shopping? ! "

Lu Xun's family has two nannies. Somehow, quarrels often occur. He couldn't stand the noise all day and fell ill. A little girl next door asked, "Sir, why didn't you stop them?" Lu Xun said with a smile: "They quarreled because they were angry with each other. Even if it was suppressed for a while, the anger in their hearts could not be suppressed. I'm afraid they will lose sleep. It's better to let me lose sleep alone than three or two people. "

He always speaks without scruple and dares to think and speak. For example, he expressed his views on people's secret "sex": appetite is to save themselves and save the present; Sexual desire is a question of preserving offspring and preserving permanence. The diet is not evil and unclean; Sexual intercourse is not evil, not unclean. It's a pity that China's old ideas completely violate this truth. Until I gave birth to the child, I was still evasive, but I was full of dignity for the child. This behavior is almost equal to the rich man who stole money and made a fortune! In order to show that people can't be one-sided, he said humorously: although heroes are powerful, they can't be called "sex masters" just because heroes also have sex!

Although Lu Xun was broad-minded, he was never fit to deal with ugly social phenomena. Everything that is false, evil and ugly has nothing to hide from Lu Xun. On one occasion, a local bureaucrat of the Kuomintang banned male and female students from swimming together. Lu Xun doesn't like it: "Students swim together and occasionally touch each other, which hinders the joint defense between men and women. However, after the ban, men and women are still sucking the air between heaven and earth. The air came out of this man's nostril, was sucked in by that woman's nostril, and then came out of that woman's nostril and was sucked in by another man's nostril, which simply confused Gan Kun. We ordered that all men, women and children and people of all colors should wear gas masks to prevent air circulation and publicity! " He also wore a gas mask to simulate walking. The audience laughed their heads off.

Lu Xun has always been unkind to decadent literati. He is a freak who is not afraid of offending people. It seems that the whole cultural and intellectual circles are his past friends. Xu Zhimo, Hu Shi, Guo Moruo, Lin Yutang, Liang Shiqiu, Cheng, etc. They have all been "violated" by Lu Xun's spittle, and often have the taste of scolding; Even Li Siguang, a geologist who doesn't know much about literature, played with him! It seems that Lu Xun really learned the essence of Sun Yat-sen's "fraternity".