"Rich daughter, poor son?" A new concept of parenting appears in Shanghai.
Not long ago, the mother of a 3-year-old girl in Shanghai told reporters about her confusion. She heard from a friend that a new concept of parenting is popular in Shanghai: "rich daughter, poor son". If you have a daughter, you should "pamper yourself" and try your best to create superior conditions for her, so that she can learn piano, understand art, go to the best school and wear the best clothes, and at the same time cultivate her elegant manners and extraordinary taste. And if the son is born, it is necessary to' help the poor and help the poor', let him suffer and develop a tough character. As a girl's mother, she doesn't know how to raise her children correctly.
"Girls are rich and boys are poor" seems to have become the concept of raising children in modern families in Shanghai. Recently, the reporter attended a forum for parents of students who scored high in the college entrance examination and heard this statement.
News has created new ways to choose different parenting styles according to children's gender, so that girls can grow up in honeypots and boys can be tempered. Is this the progress of parenting concept or a new misunderstanding of parenting?
Harbin: There are all kinds of parenting concepts.
Is the concept of "rich daughter and poor son" in Shanghai also reflected in Harbin? To this end, the reporter interviewed some parents of children and found that some parents in Harbin have various parenting ideas, each with its own reasons.
Mr. Zhao Yunhe, who lives in Harbin Education Community, is an entrepreneur with strong economic strength. His daughter is currently in a private kindergarten, and the annual tuition fee is nearly 10,000 yuan. My daughter will have painting, calligraphy and piano lessons on weekends. Coupled with her daughter's brand-name clothes and all kinds of high-end toys, the consumption of a daughter under 4 years old is similar to that of a college student. In this regard, Zhao Yunhe believes: "My wife and I have never thought about' cultivating' our daughter, just want to give her a good living environment and broaden her horizons. Let her learn piano and painting to cultivate her elegant manners. If a boy is born, we will educate him in the same way. We just want to give the best to our children. "
Unlike Mr. Zhao, Ms. Dai of Harbin Water Supply Company is strict with her daughter. "I don't want to train my daughter into a delicate flower. I adopted a policy of "helping the poor" to her. Since my daughter was a child, I have created various opportunities for her to exercise. Now my daughter not only has good academic performance, but also has an independent personality. She is not as extravagant as other girls, and there is no good girl. "
Lu Lan, who lives on a highway in Heilongjiang Province, has twin sons. She has a lot of experience in educating children: "I don't think children can grow up according to their parents' plans." Each of them has his own personality characteristics. For example, my eldest son is introverted, so I can't be too hard on him, which will easily make the child feel depressed. My youngest son is very outgoing and naughty. If you indulge him blindly, he will easily become more arrogant. Therefore, I have adopted different educational methods according to the different characteristics of children, and the effect is very good. "
Expert opinion: It's time to raise children according to their personality.
Wang Lan, a teacher from Harbin No.51 Middle School, has been engaged in education for many years. She talked about her views on the popular concept of parenting in Shanghai. It should be said that boys and girls are raised differently because of their gender, which is a kind of progress in parenting education and should be affirmed. Through some special education, it is understandable to train girls into elegant ladies and boys into strong and brave men.
However, the words "rich support" and "poor support" are considered from the traditional social division of labor and do not conform to the values of modern society. Boys need to be independent, and girls also need to have a strong personality; Girls need artistic temperament, and boys also have the pursuit of art, so it is not appropriate to spoil girls too much and let boys suffer.
Teacher Wang thinks that "poor support" and "rich support" are too blind. Educating children should not deliberately follow a certain concept, but should create different educational atmosphere for them according to their characteristics. There are different opinions about how parents educate their next generation. In the era of freedom of personality, it is better to attach importance to gender education than to personality cultivation. Today's children are extremely creative, so they should be allowed to choose freely and develop independently.
According to her own teaching experience, Miss Wang gave an example to the reporter to explain what she thought was a successful parenting method. She said, "I once taught such a child. Her parents are famous entrepreneurs in Harbin, and their family environment is very good. After she 14 years old, her parents give her living expenses every month. The money is not plentiful, but it is enough, so girls can live according to their own lifestyle. Girls like painting, so most of their living expenses are spent on buying painting tools, so that parents can better let girls develop an independent and romantic personality. "