1: The writer Luo Song told two stories.
The first story is about girls:
A high school girl who entered adolescence didn't go home until the early hours of the morning. A few days later, her father asked her out for a drink: "Try it, get drunk, and dad will take you home." That night, the girl fainted in the bar.
The next day, as soon as she woke up, she saw a letter from her father: "Do you remember how much you drank last night? There are two bottles of beer and five dimes. Remember, this is your limit. There are many bad people in the world. I can't always be around to protect you, so I let you know your limit. You must learn to protect yourself. "
The second story is about boys.
A boy of 14 years old saw a favorite book in the bookstore, but he didn't have that much money with him, so he secretly hid the book in his arms, only to be found by his boss and sent to the police station. Soon, the father of the child arrived.
The boy hung his head and waited for his father's scolding. But his father didn't scold him, but said to the bookstore owner, "He must like this book very much, just because he didn't bring enough money." What do you think? I'll pay three times as much for this book ... "
After leaving the police station, the father said to the child, "People will make mistakes in their lives. Listen, forget it! Don't let it leave a shadow in your heart, study hard and don't make the same mistake again. "
After telling these two stories, Luo Song said something I agree with very much: The best protection for his daughter is bottom line education, and the best protection for his son is sunshine education.
2. Four points are particularly important about girls' bottom line education. I hope everyone can tell their daughters.
The first bottom line education: physical bottom line.
There is a story in "Tiger Mom and Cat Dad": When Luo Xixi started blogging, Chen Xiaowu, the supervisor, drove Luo Xixi to his sister's house. Shortly after entering the door, he locked the security door, and then he began to say that he had a bad relationship with mistress ... and then he was going to bully the king.
Luo Xixi began to cry and make a scene. Chen Xiaowu was afraid of disturbing his neighbors and immediately stopped the infringement. Later, in order to avoid falling into the hands of a "pervert" again, Luo Xixi sought an exchange plan and resolutely went abroad.
Luo Xixi didn't suffer silently under the pressure and intimidation of her tutor like other girls. Because her father once said to her, "Never sell your body for anything in exchange for any benefits." So at the critical moment, she chose to fight.
What is the bottom line education of physics? As a parent, you must warn your daughter: don't betray and hurt your body for anything.
The second bottom line education: the bottom line of life.
I once saw such a story:
After her daughter was admitted to college, her father sent her money: "1200 is enough?"
The daughter replied, "That's enough."
Father added, "Buy whatever you want, and don't lose yourself."
The daughter listened and was silent for a long time.
Father felt strange: "What's the matter?"
My daughter said, "My roommate, like me, gives home 1200 every month, but her quality of life is higher than mine. She eats snacks every day and goes to McDonald's every week ... "
Father said, "Is she working? Don't go, it will delay your study. "
"She has no job and is in love. Once she came back from a date and told me that she didn't really like that boy, but she just liked him for himself. She also called me stupid, but it's a pity that this face, if there is such a beautiful face like mine, she wouldn't have to ask for money from home at all. "
The father put the phone down and immediately called his daughter 1500 yuan. He said to his daughter, "Starting from this month, I will give you 1500 yuan every month. You can spend more money on snacks in 300 yuan. Also, tell me if you are in love. I give you 500 yuan as a love fund every month. Please remember, don't forget to bring your wallet every date. "
Why did father do this? He is instilling a bottom line in his daughter's life-economic independence.
"An economically independent woman is the most dignified woman. If the economy is not independent, the personality will not be independent. Personality is not independent and love is not independent. "
The third bottom line education: emotional bottom line.
The writer Qiqi once wrote a painful experience: in her junior year, she fell in love with a boy. In order to please this boy, she degenerated.
Boys like to eat fish. In the cold winter morning, they waited for hours by the river to buy the freshest fish for him.
When they quarrel, it is obviously not their own fault. Qiqi had to stand on the green leather train all night and go to his city to say sorry to him.
In winter, when menstruation came, she squatted on the ground and washed his smelly clothes.
Qiqi thinks it will bring him true love.
But she made fish soup, and when he came back for dinner, he received a message: "I am very busy." When she put clean clothes in front of him, she got a sentence: "This is what women should do."
Even so, Qiqi finally lost him.
Years later, when recalling this emotional experience, Qiqi wrote:
"I always thought that as long as I compromised a little, the world would make room for me. Later I learned that you can never touch someone who doesn't love you. "
So now, Kiki always emphasizes an "emotional bottom line" to her daughter: "Don't waste time on someone who doesn't love you. Don't sacrifice yourself for him, because you can never touch someone who doesn't love you. "
The fourth bottom line education: the bottom line of life.
"In our life, it is inevitable to meet the wicked. When you meet a villain and are unable to fight against gangsters, you must fight in a roundabout way. No matter how important what you have, don't confront it head-on. The best choice should be to save your life. "
Therefore, we must educate our daughter that life is above everything else, and nothing is more important than life.
In our life, it is inevitable that we will encounter sad things. But no matter how sad, you can't choose to end your life. Suicide is the stupidest way to solve the problem. "
3. The best protection for sons is sunshine education, and four points about sunshine education for boys are particularly important.
The first sunshine education: adventure education.
I grew up with Liu Yu, who is engaged in geological survey. He likes to take his son to explore. For example, he took his son Xiao Liu to Lu camp last week. Grandma didn't want to go to her grandson: "That mountain is too steep. What if I fall? " "There are wild boars, which are very dangerous."
But Liu Yu secretly said to her mother, "Actually, this is an ordinary tourist attraction. I told him there might be wild boar because I wanted to exercise his courage. "
That night, the father and son were in the tent and seemed to hear the wild boar. Liu Yu handed her son a stick.
I caught a fake guardian myself. This kind of "adventure education" makes his youngest son more courageous than ordinary children and full of manly breath.
Now many parents always educate their sons like this: "You can't go there, this place can't stay, it's too dangerous!" "
Educator Richard put it well: "Children who lack adventurous spirit are often used to sticking to the rules, weak in character and not good at innovation." A boy should be adventurous.
The second sunshine education: rule education.
The writer Toby Lin once told an educational story: A child fights with his classmates and cries when he comes home.
I asked him, "Are you wronged and angry?"
The child said, "Well, I want revenge."
I asked him, "What are you going to do?"
"Find a stick, no, I want to stab him with a sword like on TV."
"Well, it's really Japanese. Dad will help you prepare. "
After a while, I went downstairs with my clothes and quilt in my arms. The child looked surprised: "What are you doing with so many clothes?"
I replied, "If you use a stick, you should be taken to the juvenile detention center at least 1 month, so I brought you a change of clothes;" If you use a sword, you must stay for a long time. You must prepare a quilt! "
The child blushed and said, "Is this really the case?"
I replied, "Well, that's the law."
"Then let's forget it."
"But aren't you angry?"
"In fact, I am also wrong. I'm not angry anymore. I will apologize to him. "
"Well, dad supports you."
On the basis of "adventure education", we should also add a "rule education" to balance adventure and rules.
I especially like what the father said to his son: "No matter what you do, you must think of the worst result. If the worst result is acceptable, you can try it. " If you can't bear it, don't do it. "
The third kind of sunshine education: frustration education.
Yang Baode, a doctoral student at Xi Jiaotong University, committed suicide because he couldn't bear the harassment of his tutor. Ou Jianxin, a ZTE programmer, committed suicide because he couldn't bear to be dismissed by the company. To some extent, they chose to commit suicide because of the lack of frustration education.
I saw a story on CCTV some time ago. A long-distance bus driver, because he was away from home all the year round, took his son out with him during the winter vacation. The road is steep and rugged, and driving is thrilling step by step. The car broke down when crossing the mountain. Father spent two hours repairing the car in the snow.
When the car was repaired and rushed to the top of the mountain, he told his son, "Remember, life is like this. At the critical moment, you have to bite your teeth and rush forward. You can see the glow when you rush. "
The father only has a primary school education, but he has given his children a lot of such frustration education. Later, his son was admitted to the doctor's degree.
At the graduation ceremony, my son said, "The reason why I was able to jump out of the agricultural school and get my doctorate was because my father told me from an early age that what knocked us down in life was definitely not a setback, but a negative evasive attitude in the face of setbacks."
The fourth sunshine education: independent education.
A friend of my respected civil servant told the story of his father teaching him to be a man:
When he secretly loved a girl, his father said, "A girl won't like you because of your infatuation, only because you are excellent."
The friend lamented: It is really enlightening.
When he was in the first grade of junior high school, his father asked him, "How can I make others respect you?"
"I respect others and others will respect me."
"Wrong. It is strength. "
The friend sighed: It's so fucking profound.
His father is also a modest official, but he never whispers. I only said a cruel word to him: "Don't imagine that I will reimburse you for the invoice."
My friend lamented: this sentence has become my working principle.
Later, many colleagues around him committed crimes and went to prison, but he has been totally clean and safe. He lamented: "So I have always been very grateful to my father."
Jiang Yang's father, Yang Yinhang, once said, "Educating children to be independent is better than being the first.