To shoulder the responsibility of family education, we must make clear the purpose of family education. Mr. Fu Lei believes that this should not be limited to small families, but should involve "a more active and broader world and ideal", and clearly realize that the purpose of family education is to "encourage children to cultivate themselves in order to make contributions to society and mankind". In a word, Fu Lei advocates that family education should cultivate talents for the development of the country and the progress of mankind. He wrote many times in his letters home that my poor father is preparing for you everywhere, and it is more appropriate to prepare for China's music career than to prepare for you. ""Dad, 1000 sentence, 10000 sentence is nothing more than for your own good, for our music career, for our motherland, for the people and for all mankind! "
Fu Lei's parting words to his son Fu Cong are four sentences: "First, be a man; Second, be an artist; Third, be a musician; Finally, be a pianist. " He said to his son, "You just have to remember this forever." These four sentences were regarded as "educational creed" by Fu Lei. He believes that only by following this educational creed can children be full of enthusiasm, serve the motherland with real talents and make contributions to mankind.
Mr. Fu Lei not only attaches importance to children's innate endowment, but also attaches importance to the role of acquired environment in children's growth. He said: "No matter how excellent the seeds are, if there is no suitable environment, soil, water and nutrients, it is difficult to blossom and bear fruit, and may even deteriorate or die halfway." As parents, we should provide "suitable environment, moisture, soil and nutrients" for children's development, let children "blossom and bear fruit" and turn every inch of talent into reality. And this is the role of family education.
From Mr. Fu Lei's educational speech and family education practice, we can sum up the following family education principles:
0 1 principles of early education
Fu Lei believes that the family is the environment where children first live and the place where children receive education. Parents must undertake the task of educating their children as soon as possible. He believes that it is human nature to love and care for children, but education cannot be ignored. He said that it is important to hurt children, and it is equally important to cultivate discipline. When I was a few months old, I didn't pay attention. When I was two or three years old, adults and children were very painful to tighten. "Fu Lei believes that all aspects of family education should start as soon as possible, from shallow to deep. For example, in life, he starts with cultivating children's civilized habits. For example, when the whole family is eating, he asks the children to sit up straight and their elbows are not allowed to interfere with the people next to them! Don't talk loudly when chewing; When scooping soup with a spoon, it is not allowed to drip on the table; Move the stool under the table after dinner ... and so on. Fu Lei also believes that early education should not only be carried out from the front, cultivate and support excellent personality and psychological quality, but also prevent the slow progress and prevent and eliminate the emergence of bad quality. Fu Lei pointed out that parents should pay attention to their children's "natural" characteristics when they are very young. If they are suitable for a certain major, we should create the necessary conditions to support them and promote their development as soon as possible. In this regard, parents must not simply proceed from their own likes and dislikes, regardless of their children's talents, forcing their children to develop in a certain professional direction. Even if children are gifted, we should cultivate and examine their hobbies, will and other "tendencies" to choose the right direction for their success.
02 the principle of strict requirements
In order to cultivate "all-round development" talents who are less perfect than anyone else, family education must follow the principle of strict requirements. Fu Lei believes that strict requirements have at least four advantages.
First of all, it helps to form good habits. Because children are good at imitation and easier to control. If it is not strict, children will easily get bad behavior, and "adults and children will suffer" when re-educating.
Second, it can cultivate children's "serious view" on learning and professionalism. Fu Lei believes that "young people often overestimate their own strength", and the result is either depression or praise and arrogance, which is not good for growth. Therefore, he advocates that family education must be strict everywhere, and children should not be praised too much. He even reminded the child's teacher not to praise the child too much. Even if the child has made great achievements, parents should not be too happy and praised, so that the child will not be "proud", but will develop a "serious concept" about his career and feel particularly solemn, fearful and alert.
Third, children can be urged to use high standards to urge their progress. Fu Lei quoted the ancients as saying: "Take the law; If you take the road of law, you will get it. "Only by strictly demanding ourselves with high standards can we" continuously improve ourselves ". "
Fourth, it helps to cultivate children's independent ability. Fu Lei believes that parents should carry out comprehensive and strict education for their children from their early childhood, and children will form good behavior habits. After they enter the society, they can deal with people with these "automatic" habits and behaviors. As Fu Lei said, young people who have been strictly disciplined by their parents since childhood have other advantages, that is, they are independent and can manage themselves as you said. "
03 the principle of connecting with social life
Fu Lei believes that family education should not be divorced from social life and engage in closed training, but should be linked with the reality of social life to help children broaden their horizons and absorb nutrients. Broad vision, cheerful mind "and" all-round development ". He said: "Ordinary children who teach themselves at home have made a big mistake: they are too indifferent to the overall situation and the cause of socialist transformation. ..... Along the way, teenagers grow old. Out of touch with society. Very bad. ..... The fundamental reason for such children lies in family education. Under the advocacy of Fu Lei, the Fu Lei family became a habit of "caring about the size of the society". The air at home is definitely not pure. As for music, music and music, they also care about the knowledge and present situation outside the piano. Fu Lei said that family education is linked to social life, so that children can learn fresh nutrients from it and contribute to "personality development". If family education is divorced from social life, then this kind of education is deformed and incomplete, and the development of children's personality is "rarely really promising."
Heuristic induction principle
In family education activities, children are the object of education and the subject of learning. Carrying out the principle of inspiration and induction is helpful to stimulate children's initiative and habit of positive thinking, improve children's logical thinking ability, cultivate children's psychological quality of independent thinking and promote their healthy growth. It is based on this consideration that Fu Lei attaches great importance to following the principle of inspiration and induction in the process of family education. For example, he gives primary school Chinese lessons to his children at home. As he said, he never explains directly, but tells them to prepare in advance and speak first. If you don't understand the meaning of the article, only innuendo can guide him and let him find the correct answer himself; Instead of correcting the misunderstanding directly, send him a lot of questions so that he can automatically find his own contradictions. The purpose is to cultivate children's thinking ability and basic logic. "Fu Lei's children later talked about their father's education and said that this heuristic education benefited them a lot.
The principle of setting an example
The blood relationship between parents and children, the feelings of living together, and the characteristics of children's easy imitation and strong plasticity often make children naturally obey their parents, listen to their parents and imitate their parents' affairs. Therefore, in family education, setting an example is an important educational principle that parents should follow. Fu Lei has a deep understanding of this. He said: "the most powerful argument in the world is practical action, and the most effective education is to set an example;" Never ask others what you can't do. " Fu Lei can consciously influence children with his own behavior when educating them. Fu Lei is an excellent intellectual. He loves his motherland and culture and is very serious and persistent in his career. When talking with children or in letters, he often talks about his experience in learning the culture of the motherland, learning the principles and policies of the party, and visiting the achievements of domestic construction and his own academic experience and lessons. Let them get an education.
Fu Lei's family education method fully embodies the characteristics of edifying education.