At present, the state strongly advocates and opens the second child policy, but most families are only children. These children are often self-righteous, maverick and arrogant, and the formation of this habitual character is mostly related to the wrong way of parents. Loving children is not to satisfy all the requirements of children blindly, not to indulge any behavior of children, and not to make children an uneducated person.
When I was in junior high school, I still remember there were several small "gangs" in the school. The leader of every small "gang" is the kind of person who is overbearing and arrogant. If he disagrees with each other, he will block his classmates in the corner of the playground. Later I heard that a girl was expelled from school. She admitted that her personality and behavior were related to her father. She said that she witnessed her father pushing her mother to the ground and kicking her. She couldn't stop it, so she rushed up and punched her father. Later, her mind kept repeating what she saw, and she began to fall asleep at night. From then on, my temperament changed greatly, and I walked step by step to today.
Why do girls become like this? Because her father personally taught him a lesson about "violence" in family education, we should pay special attention to the influence of our adults' own behavior on children and stop this bad behavior in time. Every child has a different personality. In order to make children become educated people, we should formulate some targeted rules for children according to their own behavioral characteristics, so we must do the following:
1, and formulate feasible rules.
Be sure to let the children know what mom and dad can tolerate and what mom and dad can't tolerate. First of all, we must strengthen our beliefs and principles!
Rules are made not only for children, but also for the whole family. This method is for parents to set an example by themselves and will not highlight their sense of superiority. Otherwise, parents will always be above everything else, and children will have no choice and decision, which is not good for their growth.
After taking a shower last night, my child and I sat on the bed and doodled together. I told her it was time to brush her teeth. You just took a shower and didn't brush your teeth. She said she didn't want to brush, and I said I couldn't, but I had to brush. Then she lost her temper in bed and yelled at me why she always brushed her teeth!
I suppressed my anger and gave her two choices. If she is willing to brush her teeth, I can go to work without iPad tomorrow, so that she can play games with it for a while after school. If she continues to lose her temper in bed like this and doesn't brush her teeth, then I will change the password of the iPad and never play again.
Although I thought it might not be good for her to make a choice with the iPad afterwards, at least it gave her the right to choose and gave her room to consider. The end result is what we all want. She went to brush her teeth. I left my iPad at home this morning. We all abide by this rule.
Don't try to solve all the problems at once.
Children's arrogance, big or small, is often manifested through many different behaviors. If you find that your child has been repeating some bad behavior, you should pay attention. Maybe your child has a lot of behavior problems waiting for you to solve, but remember not to rush into it. The most effective way to improve children's behavior is to solve one at a time, which is more effective.
Children have problems because they are growing up. Problems reflect the growth and changes of children. If children don't make mistakes, it will affect their progress. However, parents should not be too anxious when such problems arise. As long as it does not violate the principle, parents can slow down the pace of correction. One day, children themselves will realize that their behavior is inappropriate.
3. Parents should calm down first.
When a child breaks the rules between you, you may get angry. But every time you lose your temper, please take a deep breath and keep yourself calm. You should remember that you are regulating children's behavior, not scolding them in anger. Your children are not a tool for you to vent your bad feelings!
Emotion is easy to hurt people, and impulse is the devil, which can make many children feel wronged. Later, parents regretted it for a long time, and many factors of depression and depression would appear in the children's hearts. Once the conditions are right, the child will have great problems and will cause irreparable harm in his heart.
Only by keeping calm can parents trust each other and be honest with each other in parent-child communication. Problems should be solved first, instead of directly accusing them of not knowing the reasons. Children can also express their views slowly and sincerely because of their parents' slow-moving behavior, and they can also take the initiative to correct their mistakes better.
4. Let children understand the consequences of violation.
Fiona Fang cannot be made without rules. If the child ignores you and continues to violate the rules between you, he still hasn't corrected his bad behavior. Then you need to explain to him what will happen if he does. For example, "if you don't turn off the TV for five minutes, we won't go downstairs to play with your friends after dinner."
When making rules, we should have the awareness of obeying the rules and be brave enough to admit the constraints that may be brought by various rules, and the rules have been discussed by the family from the beginning, so if children violate the rules, they will be punished accordingly. The punishment doesn't have to be heavy, mainly to show that there are certain measures to ensure that children will abide by the rules next time.
In fact, many parents have realized the necessity of making a set of rules for their children, and they also know that their doting and pampering are not good for their children. Therefore, choosing the right way of education can not only care for and care for children, but also be strict with them. Many parents have taken many detours when making rules for their children, which are too arbitrary and depressing, not only failing to play a good role, but also diluting the parent-child relationship.