Whether a person takes care of the children or the whole family takes care of the children involves the different situations of each family, such as whether the parents of the children work full-time, take care of the children at home full-time, or whether there are elderly people to help take care of the children; However, no matter who is in charge of children, we should try our best to unify the way of discipline.
There are three people in my family, Ma Bao, me and my children. Ma Bao and I will educate our children and tell them some truth. When children's behavior needs to be corrected, we will tell them what the correct way is and why the behavior just now is inappropriate. However, we will adhere to the following four principles:
Below, we will explain the potential disadvantages of ignoring these principles one by one, and what parents can do in their daily lives.
First, parents' discipline standards should be strictly consistent. The most common examples are "strict father's loving mother" and "a good policeman and a bad policeman". Different parents adopt different strict discipline standards, which will make children more attached to and like parents who excuse themselves, but they are disgusted with criticizing their parents. Not only that, children will also have questions like "Who should I listen to", "Why do mom and dad say different things and who is right", and "I like dad better than mom and dad's point of view, so I won't listen to mom".
This is the famous "watch effect": if a person only has a watch, he knows the exact time now; If you have two watches, but you don't know which to trust, you don't know the exact time now.
2. Every time you discipline a child, whoever takes care of the child has the final say. The child is very clever. When parents want to criticize their children's mistakes and correct their children's behavior, they will naturally go to another parent for help and psychological comfort.
Once in Mi Bao, Ma Bao or I taught him a lesson, and he would say, "I want to tell mom and dad". Ma Bao and I agreed on the standard before, or when the children came to intercede with us, we said, "When mom and dad talk, you listen to what mom and dad tell you." So he found that even if he went to find each other, he would get the same conclusion, so he stopped saying, "I'm going to find my parents."
Third, try to stick to a set of parenting methods for a long time, so as not to change children's childhood. Parents love them so much and do everything for their children. As a result, their children are not independent, even "lazy" and "hungry"; Children are older and gradually show their sense of independence. When parents don't act according to their wishes, they will begin to have rebellious psychology. When parents start to adopt harsh education methods, children are likely to resent their parents, and children can easily go to extremes and even think that their parents don't love themselves.
Fourth, try not to quarrel in front of children. First of all, let's share a case in which Ma Bao and I quarreled in the car.
My family of three drove home last year. I don't know why, my mother and I had an argument, so our voices would naturally be louder. Mi Bao was still talking and laughing in the car, but when we were arguing, Mi Bao suddenly stopped talking and just looked out of the window quietly. Fortunately, we realized the problem at that time, so we stopped quarreling soon.
No matter who is in charge of children, how to educate them healthily? First of all, in the same thing, parents' discipline standards should be as consistent as possible. Similarly, in the long run, they should try to avoid changing the rules and let children know the moral standards that parents want to convey.
Finally, don't quarrel in front of the children. If the child accidentally sees his parents quarreling, he should explain to the child that the parents have different opinions and the voice may be a little loud, which is not his fault.
Welcome to follow @ Mi Bao Dad and share some parenting tips.
I haven't lived with my parents since I got married, so my parents rarely get involved. I often wonder, in a family, who will take care of the children best? Who is the best candidate? Dad? Mom? Or the child's grandparents? Or the child's grandparents?
1 the child's mother takes care of the child, and we will have children when we get married. At that time, as a father, I knew nothing. I remember Dabao was just born. At that time, she was still in hospital. My mother said to buy some medicine for the children, so it is not easy to get angry in the future. I also took my mother's advice and wanted to give it to the children, but my wife refused. So, we had a fight, but we just started being parents, and we won't.
The father of the child disciplines the child. I seldom take my children with me since they were born. The teacher said to me, "Your family is a boy, and the boy just wants his father to pay attention to education!" " After listening to the teacher's words, I began to accompany my children's life and study day by day without hesitation. I realized that I didn't learn how to be a father for a day. To put it bluntly, children want to be experiments and are tested by our whole family every day. I feel that the child was born in our family. What a pity!
I think it's a pity. Think again, who is the most suitable to take care of children in a family? I have a lot of experience.
First, the child is who he is.
The father of the child is the best candidate. If he is a son-in-law, then the child's mother is the best candidate. Why do you say that? I can't do this either, because modern people stress profit, so it's very difficult. Under such circumstances, if you have to, the child will bear the greatest responsibility. Even if you want to bring up the child, you must earn money to support the family and educate the child. I am talking about education here, and others can take care of the child's life.
Second, whoever has good moral cultivation is in charge.
Children follow suit, although people with good moral cultivation may not be rich or expensive in the future, if they lack moral character, children will encounter many troubles all their lives, and maybe they will be troubled all their lives.
Someone who can really treat children with heart.
Under normal circumstances, educating and raising children is the right and obligation of parents or elders!
Not only you, but all the elders in the family should take care of it.
Of course, you have the ability to manage it well, and you don't have to worry about your family.
This question need not be too entangled!
My answer: which tube does this "tube" mean? If it is to discipline children, of course, it is a person's management, and everyone can give advice in private; If you are looking after children, it is of course "the more Han Xinbing, the better".
If it's babysitting, I won't talk about it, because everyone knows the truth, and many hands make light work, and everyone is relaxed. Moreover, children who grow up in such a big family will adapt to the collective life very well. It should be noted that parents are also the main caregivers of children, and others can also help.
If it is to discipline children, it is mainly one person who disciplines children, and others can only express their opinions in private. Why do you say that?
First of all, from the child's point of view, if everyone in a family takes care of him, the child has no freedom to live at all, and such an environment makes the child very depressed.
In the long run, the child's personality will change in two ways. First, he is particularly irritable. Children get anxious when others talk about him. The other is that you can say whatever you like. You say yours and I'll do mine. Either way, it is a disaster for children, and children can't be disciplined in the future.
Treating children with violence and forcing them to obey are even worse. That's not disciplining children, that's taming them. Tame children and make them listen to adults in everything, not to discipline them. You should take care of the children. Adults should read more books on children's education You must understand education before you can discipline children.
Moreover, there will be many people disciplining children at the same time, that is, adults have different opinions. This says that children should be like this, that says that children should be like that, and finally children don't know who to listen to. It is impossible to discipline children in this way. Not only that, but sometimes it is easy to cause family conflicts, because there are differences between them, and in the end they often develop from child discipline to adult quarrels.
Moreover, it is also important to choose the person to discipline the children, preferably the parents. Don't let old people discipline children unless absolutely necessary. Because the times are changing, some concepts of the older generation are no longer applicable in today's society. For example, the older generation in my family all advocate thrift. Every time a child eats, if he uses a piece of toilet paper, the old man will talk endlessly about the child for five minutes. Seeing other people's children playing PSP, I started to buy a game machine for my children out of comparison. Such old people should try not to let them participate in their children's education.
Another, after all, mom and dad are the closest people to the children, and this role is irreplaceable in the children's hearts. Moreover, with the growth of children's age, children's later education can't rely on the elderly, and they can accompany their children for half their lives. Only parents can guide their children at all stages of their lives.
One thing that parents should pay attention to when disciplining their children is that they should agree and discuss well in advance before telling them. Avoid unnecessary quarrels because of disagreement, which is not good for children.
In short, as far as possible, let one parent be responsible for disciplining children and the other help. Moreover, if one is a loving father, the other is a tiger mother. In this case, the child is easy to manage, and the child has grievances and channels to talk.
It is best to be alone, and the family will give advice.
Around us, in most families, educating children is a mother's business, and it seems that it has nothing to do with dad, and my family is no exception.
When the child was young, from kindergarten, primary school, junior high school to senior high school, dad basically didn't know which classroom the child was in, what floor he was attending classes on, and he didn't know the teacher.
Dad's company is gone!
Tonight, while the three children are away, I propose to talk to Dad Liang about their education and companionship.
So I said to him gently, "honey, look, both older children are in college." How much do you index by hand and study with them? " How many parent-teacher conferences have you held at school? Now that Zaizai is in the second grade, you can't go on like this. If you have time at home, talk to your children, discuss your homework and see if there is any language barrier or brush Tik Tok every day. It's really ... "
I also told him that no matter how much a mother pays and sacrifices, no one can replace her father's love. Only when mom and dad love and educate their children together can their body and mind be healthier. ...
I hope dad can participate in my children's education in the future, because family education is not a matter for mom alone!
Let me share my baby's literacy experience with you. My baby started reading with him at the age of 3, but my children don't like books that don't move much. Later, I began to look for animation education materials, and used many kinds of early education applications before and after. Advertisements are frequent, and children begin to charge if they don't know the learning effect, until they find that Maoshuai's literacy application can accumulate literacy, develop good reading habits and quickly adapt to young convergence.