One day, Yan Yan accidentally broke a bowl while eating. My mother was very worried about the company. When she saw Yan Yan breaking the bowl, she scolded Yan Yan loudly.
Yan Yan burst into tears and shouted, "I don't want you! I'm going back to my grandparents! " After that, Yan Yan turned and ran back to the room, locked herself in the room and cried loudly.
Seeing this, my mother can't help but start to reflect on herself, whether she did something wrong.
Parents often complain that their children are not close to themselves, but they always attribute the problem to their children. I always feel that children are rebellious and don't understand their parents, but I can't find the reason in myself.
1. Reasons why children are not close to their parents: 1. Less time to meet.
Many busy young parents have no time to take care of their children, but leave their work to their parents. I don't know that the parent-child relationship between children and parents takes time and interaction to cultivate. How can I get on well with someone I don't see often?
2. Less communication
Many parents have little communication with their children because of their personality or work. They feel that as long as they feed their children, wear warm clothes, go to school and meet all their needs, they feel that they have given them the best life. However, they often ignore the most commonly used means between people-communication, which only meets children's material needs without spiritual communication with children, which is one of the reasons why children alienate their parents.
3. Parents have a bad relationship
In many families, children will become silent because of their bad relationship with their parents. Family atmosphere often affects parent-child relationship. Imagine if you are in a family environment where your parents quarrel all day, I think you will feel uncomfortable and don't want to communicate with anyone.
4. Take control of your child.
This kind of parents are strong and overbearing. They think that everything they do is good for their children, but they don't consider their feelings. Without giving children enough freedom and space for self-choice, they are blindly asked to do what they want to do. After their self-awareness germinates and develops, they will naturally want to resist this "authoritarian" education method.
5. Love comparison
Parents who always compare their children with others' children are the least popular parents. In the eyes of parents, comparing with others can stimulate children's competitiveness, but to a great extent, it often hurts children's self-confidence. Over time, children will get bored with their parents' behavior.
Parents should be the closest people to their children, but often some parents' incorrect practices will push their children further and further. This not only affects the parent-child relationship between parents and children, but also affects the cultivation of children's personality and social skills.
Second, what is the impact of not being close to parents on children's growth? 1. Lonely personality
Children's earliest interpersonal objects are parents, and parents are the first people that children contact. If the parent-child relationship is cold, it is likely that the child is withdrawn and not good at communicating with others, which has a great influence on future interpersonal relationships.
2. Not confident
Children's initial sense of self-confidence comes from their parents. When the relationship between children and their parents is not good, children will have doubts about themselves, which will directly lead to their unconfident mentality.
3. Unsafe
Children's sense of security comes largely from their parents. A safe child can have the courage to face the unknown world. If children have a bad relationship with their parents and don't feel safe enough, they will become timid and can't stand setbacks.
In the mutual response between parents and children, children will realize your love for him, give him a sense of security, and children will naturally get close to you. So if children have begun to alienate themselves, how can they change this relationship?
Third, how to change this alienated parent-child relationship? 1. Understand why children alienate themselves.
There are many reasons why children have a bad relationship with their parents. After discovering that children are beginning to alienate themselves, don't rush to change this situation, but fully understand the real reason why children are alienating themselves. After understanding the reason, make changes for this reason.
2. Be more patient with children in the process of relationship improvement.
Those children who have been raised by grandparents for a long time usually don't spend much time with their parents. At this time, if they are too radical, it will cause a great burden to the children. If parents want to improve this alienated relationship, they need to be more patient, give their children enough time and space, and let them get familiar with themselves gradually.
3. Pay more attention to children
Caring for children here is not simply to satisfy their material life, but to feed and clothe them; It is not how much pocket money to give children, but how many toys to buy. Parents need to really care about their children's hearts and listen to their thoughts.