Class 3, Grade 1, Junior High School

Liu Baocai

Love also needs art.

[Teaching purpose]

1. Let parents understand their children's needs for affection and care.

2. Help parents find the right way to love their children and let them learn to manage and appreciate love, thus forming a harmonious family atmosphere and making their children grow up healthily.

[Teaching Focus] Help parents realize that incorrect parenting methods will do harm to their children, find the right way to love their children, and reasonably grasp the scale of love.

[Teaching difficulties] How to truly implement the correct family education method of managing love in the life of educating children [Teaching methods] Talk, case analysis and scenario interpretation.

[Teaching process]

First, dialogue import:

Hello parents! First of all, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to study. I'm sure you all know the word (writing on the blackboard: love), and you must have experienced the joy and happiness brought by this kind of love. Let me tell you a story first: Dongdong felt that he was a sensitive and sensible person since he was a child. In Dongdong's father's words, he is more understanding. All along, I eat fish in winter, and my father always eats fish heads. I really believe that I eat fish in winter, and my father loves fish heads. Once, grandma went to Dongdong's house for dinner. There are fish on the table. Grandma is preparing to eat fish head. Dongdong said, "Grandma, our father loves fish heads." Grandma smiled and said, "What a silly child! Who does not know that fish is delicious! Your father is not willing to eat. " Dongdong was amazed. Dongdong, who has always felt that he is more sensible, has been eating fish with peace of mind for so many years ... Now the children have received all-round and unconditional care from their parents. When they regard their parents' love as a kind of nature, apart from their children's indifference and greed, they get dissatisfaction with society and inferiority after losing their ability to love. I believe that the parents present here must have their own feelings and experiences after listening to the story. Maybe this kind of thing will happen to us.

"Do you love your children? Will you love your children? " The answer to the first question should be yes. Yes, which parent doesn't love their children? Which parent has not been concerned about the growth of their children? As for the second question, I'm afraid some parents think it's very simple. Everyone has love for calves, and even animals love children. Of course, we know how to love them In fact, everyone loves in different ways, but the results are quite different. It stands to reason that our heavy love should be exchanged for the love and filial piety of our children, but what is the reality? Next, I will tell you a story.

Second, the case and its analysis:

1, telling a case: This is a true story, and Xiaofeng is an only child. His parents are full of infinite hopes for his future, and it is no exaggeration to describe it as "longing for one's children". They devoted all their love for their child to the cultivation of him. They said to Xiaofeng, "Now is the era of competition. The earlier you study, the better. The more you learn, the better. If you surpass others, you will be able to make big money and live a good life in the future. " Under the guidance of this idea, they don't let Xiaofeng play, so as not to "waste" time. Besides being strict with Xiaofeng's schoolwork, they also arranged for Xiaofeng to learn many extra skills. Weekends are not idle: learning dance, calligraphy, English cram school and piano. In order to create conditions for Xiaofeng to practice the piano, his parents saved money and bought Xiaofeng a piano with a meager salary. To this end, parents are also burdened with heavy debts. Parents are willing to bear the financial burden, but Xiaofeng is unwilling to bear this heavy learning burden. Among the four spare-time studies, he is most interested in English conversation, and he hates practicing the piano. After finishing his homework every day, he is exhausted and his fingers are numb and dizzy. Under the supervision of his parents, Tintin beats the keys, which is really annoying. Xiaofeng seems to feel that he has no musical cells. His ability to distinguish sounds is poor and his sense of rhythm is not strong. However, he still wants to practice, and his parents force him to practice. "Cows don't drink water and hold their heads down." When his parents saw that he was in a mood, they told him stories and quoted many examples of talented musicians who practiced hard since childhood to enlighten and inspire him. I also spent a lot of time. However, compulsory education without interest has not produced good results after all. A few months later, parents saw Xiaofeng's piano practice without progress, and also showed a sad and helpless look. Father couldn't bear it, sternly reprimanded him, forbade his classmates to visit him, revoked the original reward and punished him one after another. Xiaofeng fell into extreme depression and fantasized about how to extricate himself. I was once inspired by a teacher's story about how a disabled person who lost his hands became an interpreter at school: My parents insisted that I practice the piano, so I might as well cut off my fingers and see what they can do to me! Simple associations and urgent feelings lead to stupid actions. Xiaofeng quietly found a kitchen knife from the kitchen.

Hard "click", the left index finger was cut off, bleeding profusely, "Wow!" Xiaofeng also burst into tears. Parents are busy taking Xiaofeng to the hospital. At this moment, my parents beat their chests and feet and regretted it. They hugged Xiaofeng and said, "How can we be so stupid!"

The tragedy of cutting one's fingers and hurting oneself happened like this. Xiaofeng's parents hope that their son will "make a lot of money and be a master" in the future, but the hope of "seeking dragons" cannot be realized. Family education, hoping for success, is really not a simple knowledge. How to love children is promising.

There are many such examples. Children can't bear our love and self-harm, and even bite back and kill them. There are countless such examples, which really make us feel sad and chilling as parents. What's the problem? (Parents are requested to speak freely. )

2. Analyze the case: Why is the love of parents not accepted by children?

This story leads to a lot of truth, which deserves our parents' serious consideration. What happened to our children? Why are they so cold-blooded, so heartless and so ungrateful? In fact, there is a reason for careful analysis:

Let's start with Xiaofeng's parents. They have one advantage and three disadvantages in dealing with their children's future and after-school study arrangements. One of the so-called advantages is that they see that this is an era of competition, which is correct. Today's society is indeed a competitive society and an era of competition; Competition between countries and regions is becoming more and more fierce. In this sense, whoever has the initiative will be in an active position in the competition. We should treat Xiaofeng's parents realistically. We should be gratified that they can realize that "competition" is a feature of the times and should firmly grasp this feature, which is much better than some parents who are ignorant of their children. A reporter went to the west for an interview and met a child herding sheep on the grassland. The reporter asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. The shepherd's child answered simply: "marry a daughter-in-law." The reporter asked again, "What will you do after you marry your daughter-in-law?" The shepherd boy replied, "Bring up the children." The reporter asked again: "What if the baby grows up?" The shepherd said, "feed the sheep!" " The reporter lamented that education should go deep into the northwest, education should go to the grassland, and children should receive an ideal education. China has a vast territory, and its economic and cultural development varies greatly. There are 300 million families in this country. It should be said that in 300 million families, it is remarkable that Xiaofeng's parents can realize that "now is the era of competition". They are not out of touch with the times. From this perspective, this is an advantage.

But Xiaofeng's parents have three fatal shortcomings that can't be ignored, which will inevitably lead them to make a big mistake-leading Xiaofeng to cut off his fingers and hurt himself. These three shortcomings are: first, the foothold is wrong. Xiaofeng's parents said: "Now is the era of competition. The earlier you study, the better. The more you learn, the better. Only by surpassing others can we make big money and live a good life. " Please note that the foothold and destination of parents is "making big money and living a good life", not improving the quality of children. Guiding children in this way will inevitably lead them astray, or even go astray. In the era of competition, in order to participate in the competition, we should not only strive to improve the quality of our competitors, but also be fully psychologically prepared: what should we do if we win the competition? What if the game fails? Without this kind of mental and psychological preparation, you will be at a loss after the results of the competition are announced and don't know what to do next. This is really more important than "making big money". Xiaofeng's parents completely ignored it. They probably didn't even think of it. They think that "the more you learn, the better, and surpass others" is a very simple thing. In fact, "surpassing others" is not easy! Wang, China and the long-distance runner, the world champion, are on the playground. When other athletes ran ahead of her, she didn't feel impatient, but took firm steps, waved her arms calmly and moved forward, and finally left the other athletes behind. She rushed forward more bravely. In the sports field, in the arena, on the big stage of life, competition is to stand the test of success and failure. In front of successful trophies and wreaths, you can shed tears of excitement, but you can't be complacent; When you fail, don't be discouraged, sigh or complain, but get up bravely and move on. These spiritual wealth far exceeds the value of money, which is limited and can be used up; The spiritual wealth of "winning without arrogance and losing with grace" is inexhaustible and will never depreciate. Xiaofeng's parents' education of Xiaofeng lacks this point. How can you not educate Xiaofeng just by "making big money"?

Second, across the shoulder. This is an allusion to intervention. It means that the person in charge of the sacrifice overstepped his authority and put down the sacrificial vessels to cook instead of the chef. Later, it was extended to a metaphor for dealing with things that should not be handled beyond authority. On the issue of family education, especially in the design of children's future, many parents do not consult their children, but speak in vernacular, thinking that this is responsible for their children, drawing a colorful blue circle for their children's future life, setting up the best ladder for their children to reach the sky and the moon, and feeling that they are loving their children. As everyone knows, this kind of anti-vice often brings a lot of misfortune to children. Xiaofeng's finger amputation is a typical example. Xiaofeng lacks musical artistic cells, has poor ability to distinguish sounds and weak sense of rhythm. Isn't it a living hell to force him to practice piano every day? Whether it is school education or family education, the important symbol of success lies in cultivating students' strong interest in learning and good study habits. Now, parents' interest in their children

There are two kinds of "forcing", one is "the cow doesn't drink water and presses its head", that is, the child doesn't want to learn and insists on learning; One is that the child is interested, but his perseverance is not enough, so put some pressure on him. The former compulsion is not desirable, because it violates the educational principle of taking advantage of the situation. The latter "compulsion" has certain significance, because it is based on children's interests. Appropriate pressure can promote children's potential to play a great role. Many top students in sports and art are often "forced" to become talents through strict and arduous training. Xiaofeng's parents, regardless of whether their children are interested in the piano, blindly "force" Xiaofeng to practice the piano, and "the cow holds her head and doesn't drink water". As a result, the incident of "pushing cattle" occurred, which was caused by Xiaofeng's parents exceeding their authority. This is really a painful lesson.

Third, the method is wrong. Xiaofeng's parents arranged four extracurricular courses for Xiaofeng: dance, calligraphy, foreign language and piano. What subject is Xiaofeng interested in? Why isn't Xiaofeng interested in piano? What is the reason? Xiaofeng's parents don't understand and don't seriously consider it. On the contrary, simply reprimanding, not allowing classmates to visit, revoking the original reward, and punishment measures followed. It is under this simple and wrong punishment that Xiaofeng cut off his finger in despair when his self-confidence was seriously hurt. If Xiaofeng's parents hadn't adopted the "compulsory" way and simply reprimanded and punished, this tragedy might have been avoided.

3. Draw a conclusion: Through the analysis of this case, we get three reasons why parents' love is not accepted by children: wrong starting point, wrong epistemology and improper practice. From this, it can be concluded that children's ungrateful to their parents is caused by their parents' incorrect parenting style. Therefore, each of our parents should not only love their children, but also love them with the right attitude and methods. Love needs not only management, but also art. (blackboard writing: need art)

Third, how can we cultivate children who know how to be grateful and grateful?

As a class teacher, we attach importance to children's gratitude education, and we don't relax our gratitude education for parents, just as a child educator said, "We only know how to take, but we don't know how to pay; It is a common problem that children only know how to love themselves and don't know who loves them. "So we use the materials in the textbook to make students realize the greatness of fatherly love and the selflessness of maternal love. Through activities, they can feel that it is not easy for parents to raise their children, such as washing their feet during recess and helping their parents do housework. The purpose is to make them love, understand and honor their parents in life. Kindness is the most glorious human nature and the noblest and greatest moral character. To teach your son to be a man, you must first give him a kind heart. However, it is not enough to rely solely on the requirements of teachers. Really achieving good results requires the cooperation of parents. So how can a child's ability to love and a caring parent cultivate it? (Students show family life scenes to arouse parents' thinking, combined with scene display method)

1, set an example and cultivate children's love.

As the saying goes: lead by example. The power of example is infinite and the most effective. To make children love, parents must start from themselves and start from the small things at home. Because parents' words and deeds play an important role in children's growth and will leave an indelible impression on children's hearts. If you are at home, you should honor your elders, often pour tea, rice, wash your face, wash your parents' feet and comb your hair. Buy things and give gifts to elders on holidays; You can also let children discuss what gifts to give to their elders; I often take my children to pay homage to those who have helped me in my career and my relatives and friends, which not only broadens my children's horizons, but also makes them realize their parents' concern and consideration for their elders, colleagues and relatives. At the same time, we should care more about our children and be sincere. For example, when a child encounters difficulties, let him speak his mind and help him find a solution. In the relationship between husband and wife, he often gives food to his lover and rubs his back. Don't forget to bring a present to his wife and children when he comes back from business trip. In terms of language, he can also say something like this: Dear, you have worked hard! Take a break first! Don't worry, let me help you! Never mind, the difficulties will always be solved! Thank you for everything you have done for me! Wait a minute. In addition, painful words and deeds will deeply touch children's hearts, infect and arouse children's concern for others. For example, on the bus, parents said to their children, "Look, how tired that aunt is holding her little brother. Let them sit here. " Neighbor grandma is old and sick, so parents take their children to visit and help her. The news reports that some people are short of money for surgery and their lives are dying. Parents bring their children to donate money and offer love ... often let children see how adults sympathize. Caring for and helping others is the best way to cultivate children's good quality. The essence of sympathy and compassion is the result of spreading one's own pain and discomfort to others. Children are often asked to compare their feelings when they are in a state of pain with others' experiences under the same hatred, understand others' feelings, and let children learn to understand others and learn to empathize. For example, when a little brother falls, parents encourage their children: "Think about it when you fall. Does it hurt?" ? Little brother must be very uncomfortable. Go get him up and wipe his face. "Parents in disaster areas can guide their children:" The children there have no food, are very hungry, have no clothes to wear, and are freezing. Think about it, what would happen if you were there? Let's donate some clothes. Send food to the people in the disaster area! "... as children grow up, we should gradually expand the content of education and educate them to love their hometown and motherland.

Love socialism, love science, love labor, love career, love life ... Little by little training, the guidance of words and deeds, kind and broad love and humanitarian morality will take root in children's hearts and will continue to expand and rise with their growth.

2. Sow the seeds of love in children's hearts.

Suhomlinski, an educator in the former Soviet Union, said: "Good feelings are fertile ground for good behavior." His words tell us that good emotions are the basis of good moral behavior, and all good moral behaviors of people are born of good emotions. Therefore, parents should pay attention to cultivating children's good mood.

Emotional education for children and shaping their love should be based on their age characteristics, from near to far, from shallow to deep, and from loving parents, classmates, teachers, animals, flowers and trees. Later, it was extended to love hometown, people and motherland. First of all, we should sprout love for our parents, which is the starting point of emotional education. Parents are the closest and most contacted people to their children. It is necessary to educate children to know that their parents have made painstaking efforts and sweat for their growth, so that they can begin to understand the kindness raised by their parents, know their parents' efforts and efforts in family life, and make them feel considerate. It is necessary to cultivate children to love their partners and get along well with neighbors, relatives and classmates. Future socialist builders should have noble sentiments of loving the motherland, loving the people and being willing to devote themselves to the cause of socialism, and this noble sentiment is first rooted in family moral and emotional education. If we don't know how to love our parents now, we can't love our motherland when we grow up. Now there is no one else in our hearts, and we can't love our own people when we grow up. Therefore, parents should attach importance to the emotional education of their children and cultivate their love.

3. Establish an equal and orderly family relationship.

In today's family, we advocate equality and democracy, and hope that children can participate in the construction of the family and make suggestions and opinions. However, we can't allow children to be brave and fooling around at home, and we can't let them be the "emperor" and "sun" at home to spoil them. Do things according to principles, distinguish parents from children, and let them know that parents are the masters of family life. Of course, we should also respect the child's personality.

Step 4 support

If children encounter difficulties and grievances, what they want most is the support of their parents. Patience, patting shoulders and hugging can give children great psychological encouragement. Parents are the harbor of children's hearts and the haven of children. Even if you don't have a solution to the problem, silent support encourages children to overcome difficulties.

Step 5 understand

Understanding does not mean recognition and support, he just expresses his understanding of a child's practice. Although some of children's practices are wrong to outsiders, according to children's personality characteristics, the result of thinking mode is like this. For example, the teacher did not investigate and study and misunderstood your child. Your child is very angry. Although I didn't contradict the teacher at that time, I came home and said something radical. At this point, we should understand the child's performance, but tell him that venting at home is over, and it must not be like this at school.

Fourth, the class summary:

In fact, love is equality, love is appreciation and love is tolerance. Love expresses thoughtfulness, trust and understanding. We should grasp the way and scale of loving children, neither doting on children nor controlling or limiting their love, which will hinder their growth and affect their physical and mental health. Only in this way can we sow the seeds of love in their hearts, bloom brilliant flowers of love and bear fruitful fruits of love! Let our family life be happier and our collective life more harmonious!

Homework:

1. Ask each parent to collect a case about affection and care, and make a good case analysis. After writing in words, let the students take it back to the teacher during the big recess.

2. Please ask every parent to care for their children with the knowledge of home care we learned today.