My colleague, Ms. Wang, has only one only daughter, and she usually cherishes this daughter. But recently, she found that because of her daughter's strict discipline, the children were not close to themselves and were unwilling to accept her, and she didn't know why. She thinks there is nothing wrong with what she has done. Why can't she get along with the children?
Later, when I communicated with my daughter, I realized that my improper education method hurt her heart and she didn't want to be close to her mother. Slowly, Ms. Wang changed the way of education, apologized to her daughter and made her close to herself. Actually, educating a daughter is different from educating a boy. Girls are vulnerable, and parents' improper words and deeds may hurt their children. In the process of getting along with her daughter, parents can't say something. Let's introduce it below.
Poor study can't find a good husband's family.
Many girls can study hard in primary school and junior high school, but many can't follow classes after high school. Many parents will stimulate their children in words and deeds, thinking that this will enable them to make continuous progress. In fact, this method is wrong. Parents don't understand their children's hearts. It's not that she doesn't work hard, but that she doesn't have a learning method and her parents' scolding can't get good results. Giving them some encouragement is much better than scolding them.
Some parents will tell their children that if they don't study well, they can't find a good husband's family. Whether you can find a good husband's family really has nothing to do with your study. Don't stimulate children with such words. Of course, children with good academic performance can have a higher platform, meet better boys, and have a higher chance of finding a good husband's family.
Let the younger brothers and sisters
Now that many families have given birth to a second child, it is difficult for parents to be fair. They often ask Dabao to let his younger brother and sister, and even if the child makes a mistake, parents will criticize the older child. After a long time, older children will feel wronged. Parents should not let older children give way to younger brothers and sisters, but should do things fairly. Take care of the feelings of some older children so that they will not alienate their parents.
Both children should be treated equally, and there is no one who gives up. Maybe the younger brother (sister) is young and Dabao can take care of it, but whoever is wrong is who is wrong. Don't blame the child for not being optimistic about his younger brother (sister).
I told my brother that you can take care of your sister, but you don't have to give up everything. You can share your favorite toys and food with your sister if you like. If you don't want to, we won't force you to share, because you have your own independent thoughts. You will understand this matter and whether you want to play with your sister or not. Actually, children have a lot of things. I will take care of it myself. I don't need adults to teach me face to face and force my children to share. On the contrary, Dabao thinks that mom and dad only care about Bauer and don't like Dabao.
If you don't listen, I will lose you.
Children are very naughty, and parents often educate their children in a threatening way, telling them that they will lose you if they don't obey. Although the parents are joking, the children don't think so. Especially for girls, she is timid and will take these words seriously, which will affect her personality and make her more introverted. Parents should not always scare their children and say something radical.
If a child gets into trouble, he must be punished, but there are many kinds of punishments. Girls don't fight, they only use language to intimidate, but many words should not be said. If I lost you like this, I shouldn't have said it. You can punish your child for standing in the corner for five minutes, reflecting on his mistakes, or keeping him in the room for a while. These are all good punishment methods. We punish children only to make them remember their mistakes, not what they threatened.
You are so stupid.
Some parents don't care about talking to their children. Children dare to say anything when they make mistakes. For example, if a child does something wrong, some parents will say that you are too stupid. Parents didn't realize the seriousness of saying these words. In fact, it will leave a shadow for children, let them constantly deny themselves, feel useless, and feel more and more inferior.
Parents constantly attack their children, which will affect their character and make them more introverted. Parents should encourage their children with more love and help them correct their mistakes. This is the correct way to deal with it.
Parents recommend parenting books to girls in the early morning.
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After my sister was born, I also fell into the problem of raising. I have always put the way of educating my younger brother on my younger sister, but I can't get what I want in the end. Later, my friend gave me the above book, which benefited me a lot and improved my relationship with my sister. Now we are close "good friends".
In the morning, my mother came to talk:
Educating children is a big project, which requires parents to spend a lot of energy. However, educating a daughter is different from educating a boy. There will be more things to pay attention to when educating daughters, because daughters are more vulnerable. In the process of educating her daughter, don't treat her rudely, don't abuse her children, don't encourage her more, don't let her humble her brothers and sisters blindly, and don't let her academic performance be linked to other things. Educating children needs more patience, so that they can be trained better.