As we all know, our children are not born like this, they are pure white paper, so why did we train our children like this in just a few years in the hands of great parents?
So we have to pay attention to how our family education is doing. ? Our parents, are you capable? ?
Next, let's discuss why children are rebellious. What should I do if I find my child rebellious?
? First, mom and dad are "originals" and children are "copies"
As the saying goes, "As you sow, you reap." What kind of vines bear what kind of fruit. In other words, when our children are swearing and domineering, we have to check carefully whether there is something wrong with our "family language system".
Our parents work in all walks of life, and they don't pay attention to their words and deeds when they go home. They complain at the dinner table: Xiao Zhang is so stingy; The leader is too stingy; The leader of a bureau was arrested for corruption and bribery, and he deserved it.
These unintentional behaviors will sow seeds for our children's young hearts, and they will be as cynical as their parents. No child is pleasing to the eye in kindergarten. Your mouth is also your mean and bad language, so I won't play with you.
Of course, the behavior is the same. If you procrastinate, she procrastinates. You are picky, so is he. The child thinks all this is normal. Because mom and dad are like this. Bad behavior habits are formed after a long time. That's when the trouble came out. When you try to stop him, he will resist you and even hate you, thinking you are a bad father, bad mother.
Strengthen your sense of time and never delay. No matter what happens, you should go to bed early and get up early, and try to keep pace with your children. Make strict washing time after getting up. Five minutes to get dressed, five minutes to wash, five minutes to arrange your hair, then five minutes to bring your own things and then go out. Children will study with curiosity. A month later, slowly, she will hurry the adults.
Second: Please pay more attention to children's inner feelings.
A child is an independent life, not an accessory of mom and dad. We should learn to respect children's wishes, instead of imposing some of our wishes on them.
Now many parents think that he should listen to me because he is my son. What can he think at such a young age? As long as the adults arrange him to do it; Anyway, we are all for his own good.
Having said that, I want to ask: in order to realize your arranged wishes for her, will she do it if you scold her loudly? Sometimes you fight and he runs away crying. Will he still do as you say?
In order to meet your requirements, you nag all day and the children are tired of running away from home. Are you still good to him?
Therefore, before our parents do something and say a word, please think more about their children's feelings. Think it over before you do it. Otherwise, it will be counterproductive, and sometimes even the consequences are unimaginable.
Children's thinking consciousness develops rapidly, but in the eyes of adults, you are just a child. How can there be so many things?
So in our daily life, we don't take our children's words seriously, our children's affairs seriously, and our children's feelings seriously. We just suppress, cope with and even be agitated, and don't want to listen to her.
It's even harder to have a good talk with children. Parents only ask their children to obey, no matter right or wrong. Over time, the anger accumulated in the children's hearts filled up and broke out beyond forbearance, resulting in a long-term rebellious state.
It will be easy to find the root of the problem. It's that we ignore the feelings of children and understand this. How can we solve this problem?
Persuasion and education are not good, condescending reprimands are not good, and beating and cursing are even worse. After comprehensive consideration, we should set an example.
I hope that parents will seriously experience the following methods.
1, correct your own thoughts, children are independent life individuals and must respect their wishes. Establish an equal living atmosphere, so that children can accept you from the heart and are willing to talk to you.
2. Resolutely pay more attention to the child's inner world, share her happiness, and find ways to solve difficulties with the child.
3. Abandon the bad behavior of loudly reprimanding and beating children. Even if the child is wrong, don't reprimand the child loudly, widen the distance with the child, make the child feel untrusted and insecure, and increase her communication rejection and rebellious effect.
Before talking to children, analyze what to say and what not to say. There is only one purpose, so that she is willing to accept it and say more if she is willing to act; Let the children listen to disgust, and if there is resistance, they will resolutely not talk.
In order for children to communicate with their parents actively, parents must also know what type of their children are? Generally speaking, there are three types: subjective, social and self-oriented.
6. After establishing a bridge of basic communication, let the children feel the warmth brought by the family, and then help them establish a correct outlook on life in a subtle way.
7. You can't be too demanding about how much your child must achieve, otherwise it will increase your child's psychological burden. It is necessary to allow children to make mistakes, but also to allow children to have emotions, and to create opportunities for her to correct mistakes and release emotions, so that she can do what she wants to do with maximum ease, happiness and autonomy. ?
Good parents decide a child's life. I hope all parents of rebellious children can sum up their own educational methods from this article, so that our family education can reach a new level and be a competent parent! ?
The people you care about determine the world you see.