Children lie for many reasons. Parents can't educate their children directly when they are dishonest. They need to find out why children lie first, and then carry out targeted education.
Sometimes a child may lie just because of his age. At the age of 2 or 3, he couldn't distinguish between reality and fantasy, so he often spoke fantasy as truth. At this time, don't call him a liar, just let him know what is reality and what is fantasy, and guide him slowly.
Sometimes children lie because of physical needs, such as psychological and physical needs for certain foods or toys. Sometimes children lie because they are afraid of their parents' disappointment, because their parents expect too much of themselves, and some are afraid of the consequences when their parents know the truth.
In short, children may lie for many reasons. We should first find out the motivation of children to lie, and then deal with it in a targeted manner. We must never adopt a one-size-fits-all approach to education. It is good for children to make mistakes. Through children's mistakes, we can educate children and then let them grow and progress.
Second, education is to make children realize their mistakes, not accept criticism.
Parents will be angry when their children lie and want to educate them. But before education, I hope parents can be clear about their purpose, whether to educate their children or simply criticize them. Parents will say, of course, to educate children. Then, since parents are educating their children, we need to pay attention to the choice of methods and the content of education. Parents should solve the problem when the child lies, instead of criticizing the child or things blindly and making the child lose self-esteem. You can discuss with your child like this: "If you tell what happened at that time, your mother will be happier, but what you just said doesn't seem to have really happened. Do you want to think about it again and think clearly? " Using open-ended questions and reserving some space for your child will help him more.
Third, reasonably grasp the degree of punishment.
Parents should choose an appropriate degree to punish their children for their different mistakes, not too heavy or too light, but too detailed and not too indulgent.
Parents are often too harsh on their children's small mistakes, and children will try their best to cover up the truth to escape punishment. If these parents do not dispel their children's fears, think that their children are deliberately lying, and then reprimand their children more severely, they will encourage their children to cover up their mistakes more firmly. Over time, it is really possible to form a bad habit of lying. Therefore, parents should not punish their children's accidental mistakes at will, but should patiently analyze the causes of their children's mistakes and help them deal with the consequences of their mistakes so that they will not lie because of fear. On the contrary, if the behavior habit of lying to escape punishment is combined with bad personality characteristics, it may lead to children deliberately cheating and lying for a certain purpose.
There are also some parents who beat their children when they make mistakes. If parents simply educate their children by calling, it can only show that parents are irresponsible. Some children are becoming more and more stubborn, and some children playing too much will lead to cowardice. Don't listen to the so-called "going to Peking University" and Tiger Dad on the Internet. There are thousands of children every year, and the success in special living environment and specific characteristics of children is not universal.
When children lie, parents should communicate with them more and understand their thoughts and personality. Some children are naturally stubborn. The more you fight, the more you refuse to accept it. Beating such a child is not the way. It is necessary to talk to them more and go out to play with them. A good parent will also be a good friend of the child.
But what if the child lies to cover up some bad things, such as stealing money and other things that violate the principle, and the child is indomitable and does not admit his mistake? The author suggests that we can try some other methods, such as risk, parents suffer some losses, punish themselves, let the children see and let the children know that no matter how wrong they are, parents are always the first and the most deserving of punishment. Fighting is also an art. If you fight, you should let your child know that your parents are good for him. The biggest fear is that if you fight, you won't say anything and the children won't buy it.
Fourth, don't indulge in evil.
Children sometimes tell little lies, and often some parents think that these things are harmless and not corrected in time, but let them develop. This is absolutely wrong behavior. If it is not corrected in time, it will make children feel that this is no problem. Over time, it will actually help children develop bad habits of dishonesty and trustworthiness.
Parents should never indulge their children just because they think they are young or because things are not important, which can only strengthen their bad behavior and form a bad character. In addition, parents should let their children correctly understand some common dishonest behaviors: such as cheating in exams; Do something you shouldn't do in the name of others; Lie to parents to escape punishment, etc. It is best for parents to reason with their children before these bad situations occur, so that they can understand the gains and losses of doing so and prevent them from doing dishonest things for petty profits.
Fifth, consider the child's self-esteem.
When a child tells a lie, parents had better not directly blame the child, especially in public, which will easily hurt his self-esteem. We should let children know and feel their mistakes through some inspiring stories, then point out their mistakes and guide them to correct them, so as not to cause rebellion and vicious circle.
Sixth, be a good family role model
Before the age of 7, children usually only recognize behavior, but not language. Moreover, the formation of some habits of children is also imitation learning rather than preaching learning. In family life, parents' behavior affects children all the time.
However, in daily life, in order to induce their children to do something, many parents always easily promise their children certain conditions, but they have not fulfilled them afterwards. When a child's hopes fail, he will find that his parents are deceiving himself, and he will learn from his parents' dishonesty, break his promise and lie at will. Although children are young, they are very flexible, and children often use what they have seen with their own eyes as a model for learning and imitation.
Therefore, parents should always pay attention to their words and deeds, don't covet petty advantages, don't lie, and don't cheat their children and break their promises. We should start with small things in daily life and set an example of honesty and trustworthiness for our children. Only in this way can honesty education for children be effective.
Teaching by example is more important than teaching by example. Parents are the first teachers of the children. Only by establishing a good image of setting an example can we expect the golden seeds of honesty sown on children to bloom with the brilliance of human nature.
Seven, teach children to distinguish between honest and white lies.
Teaching children to be honest and trustworthy does not mean saying everything according to their own feelings and ideas. Sometimes things are not right or wrong, but speaking frankly regardless of social relations will also be detrimental to children's growth. In daily life, people have different views on things, and there is no right or wrong. For example, personal clothing, food, shelter, clothing and hats, hobbies and so on. Many people believe that being outspoken is honest and sincere. In fact, they simply use their own ideas and habits to bias others' attitudes and behaviors. When they meet something that is not delicious to them, they will immediately blame others. In fact, this is not a kind sincerity to others, but a casual catharsis of self-unhappiness.
There are still many things to do to educate children. If you want your child to have a successful personality, you must start from scratch and set an example. An honest and trustworthy person is often more likely to be recognized by others, which is conducive to the maintenance of children's interpersonal relationships and will also affect their future development. Do an honest and trustworthy education for children's tomorrow!