It is not easy to educate children. We should treat them equally and teach them in a teasing way. If the affection between parents and children is hurt by educating their children, we should follow the example of the ancients and adopt the teaching of "changing children". Children are generally rebellious and obedient. Persuade those who do not obey, and accept those who obey. Folding this thing, especially for mothers, should be well planned, otherwise it will be counterproductive.
Today I will briefly talk about the good intentions of mothers to educate their children in order to make fun of them.
First, the story of Meng Mu.
Saint Amethyst of Confucianism said, "In the past, Meng Mu chose its neighbors. 」
Asian sage Mencius broke his promise at the age of three, and his mother made a living by spinning. His mother pinned all her hopes on Mencius, so she was very concerned about his growth. In order to provide a good environment for his son to grow up, Meng Mu chose three neighbors.
For the first time, because he lived near the cemetery, Mencius often played games with his companions to imitate funerals. Meng Mu thought it was bad for children's growth, so he moved to a nearby market. However, when Meng Mu moved to a school for the third time, he found that Mencius soon began to learn to peddle along the street. At that time, the teachers of the school not only taught students to read poetry books and understand the truth of being a man, but also taught students the etiquette of dealing with people in daily life.
Because he lives near the school, Mencius can not only recite the classics he has learned to his mother, but also imitate the behavior and etiquette of the school teacher naturally in his life. Meng Mu saw the educational function of the school, so he chose to live here. This story, later called "Meng Mu's Three Movements", has been passed down to this day.
After Mencius grew up and became a family, Meng Mu did not forget to help Mencius discover and correct the shortcomings of virtue in his daily life.
Once, it was very hot. Mencius was about to enter his room when he suddenly looked up and saw his wife, Yu Shi, holding her coat sleeves and her arms exposed. Mencius, who paid great attention to etiquette, was unhappy and stopped entering the room.
People in ancient times paid great attention to the etiquette of male-female communication. If it is not a family or special relationship, men generally do not enter the room where women are.
You can see what Mencius meant when he didn't come into the room. She went to her mother-in-law sadly and said, "A woman can't be polite to her guests when she sees her husband in her room. Now my husband invited me as a guest, which shows that I didn't do well and let him treat me as a guest. Women can't stay overnight as guests. So, now I have to say goodbye to you and go back to my parents. 」
Meng Mu immediately summoned Mencius after listening to his daughter-in-law. Mencius did not dare to neglect this. He immediately came to his mother and said, "Mother, do you have any orders? 」
Mother said to Mencius, "The Book of Rites says that if you want to walk into the hall, you should speak loudly and let the people inside know and be prepared." . If you want to walk into the room and cross the threshold, you must bow your head to avoid seeing other people's omissions or mistakes, which makes people feel embarrassed. Since you don't know etiquette, isn't it against the spirit of etiquette to accuse others? 」
After listening to his mother's words, Mencius deeply reflected that he didn't really understand the meaning of ceremony, and a sense of shame suddenly arose. I saw that he paid deep respect to his mother and said, "Thank you for your mother's teaching and helping my son correct his mistakes in time, which gave me a deeper understanding of the ceremony. Now that my son knows that he is wrong, he must seriously reflect and correct. Please rest assured his mother. 」
After talking with his mother, Mencius turned to apologize to You Shi in front of his mother and said, "It was my fault just now that you were wronged. Now I sincerely ask you to stay ... "
Seeing Mencius so sincere, you nodded happily. At this time, the mother's face showed a gratified smile, and the husband and wife were full of joy. The mother knows justice and truth well and saved the family happiness of her son and daughter-in-law.
Second, the mother of Yulin Buddhist
Yulin Buddhist is the Buddhist of the emperor shunzhi. In the final analysis, Yulin Buddhism became a generation of eminent monks because he had a great mother. Needless to say, there is only one letter written by his mother after the monk became a monk, which is enough to show that the loving mother wants her son to become a dragon. Its text is as follows:
"I have karma with you, and I have mutual affection between mother and son. Love is eternal! When I was pregnant with you, I prayed to God and Buddha for a man and a full moon. Giving birth to a man is like cherishing a treasure, caring tirelessly and working hard. If you are a little adult, you will be sent to the library, or you will not come back for a while, just look around at the door.
My father died, my mother survived, but my brother was cold and I was helpless. The mother has no intention of giving up her son, and the son intends to lose his mother. Once, you often shed sad tears day and night, bitter!
If you don't go back to China, you will do whatever you want and won't expect you to come back. I don't want you to learn' Wang Xiang lying on the ice' and' Ding Lan woodcarving', but I hope you will be as respectful as a lotus flower and learn from me, otherwise, the stagnant situation will still exist. 」
Third, the mother of Master Hanshan.
Master Hanshan (1546-11623) was born in Deqing, Quanjiao County, Jinling (now Anhui Province) in the Ming Dynasty. Father's surname is Cai and mother's surname is Hong. Because the mother believed in Guanyin Bodhisattva all her life, she dreamed that Guanyin Bodhisattva brought the boy into the house and became pregnant. The host gave birth to a double-layer white embryo, and the fragrance was overflowing when taking a bath.
Long, quiet, thoughtful, intelligent and considerate. He became a monk because of impermanence. After all kinds of hardships, he finally reached the peak with extraordinary perseverance and wrote his brilliant career in the history of Buddhism. He Lianchi, Bai Zi and Ou Yi. By later generations, he was honored as the four eminent monks of the Ming Dynasty. Master Hanshan has made such great achievements because he has a great mother.
It is said that when the master was seven years old, his mother sent him to study in the society. In order to make him concentrate on his studies and set up lofty aspirations, he transferred to the learning club on the other side of the river the next year. Because it is inconvenient to go home because of the long distance, his mother placed the master in a relative's house; Because reading is not distracting, I am only allowed to go home once a month.
One day, the master went home to visit relatives. After all, just a weaned child! My mother refused to leave home to study because she was so attached to her wet nurse, but she wouldn't listen. Anxious mother, leaning on a stick, dragged the ground and rushed to the river. But when he reached the river, he never got on the boat again. Out of desperation, his mother decided to beat the child who was wandering by the river and refused to board the boat into the river with a stick and ran straight home without looking back.
The master struggled desperately in the river, choked to death and even called for help. Grandma who happened to hear the news quickly found someone to rescue him ashore and went home with her. When his mother saw her son coming home, she was angry and scolded severely: "The disappointing boy didn't drown you. What's the use of keeping it? " "So he picked up a stick and drove his master out of the house. The master saw that his mother was so cruel to himself and completely died of attachment to my mother. Since then, he has never returned home, studied wholeheartedly, and finally succeeded in his studies.
Even the master's grandmother doesn't like his mother's behavior. She blamed the master's mother and said, "You are cruel to children! 」
His mother said, "it's not that I don't love children, but that I'm afraid I can't give up studying!" 」。
After all, children are their own flesh and blood! Whenever the sun sets, the mother looks at the figure of the child on the other side of the river and cries, waiting for the arrival of the child.
Alas! What a great mother! Who in the world can taste a mother's tear stick?
Four, Yang Qi Zen master's mother
Zen master Yang Qi is the founder of Yang Qi Sect of Zen Buddhism, but he is a dutiful son, and he has achieved his career because of filial piety. He is an only child. After he became a monk, his mother was too old to work, and he was left unattended on his own. I got the support of the temple and lived in the east of the abbot's room. But the monk has no savings, so it is difficult to feed his mother for three meals. You can't support your mother with your permanent property. You are helpless. In the evening, the Zen master borrowed a pair of bright woven sandals under the street lamp in the corridor in exchange for money to support his mother.
Once, my mother asked the Zen master, "Son! What do you do every night? 」
The Zen master replied: "Weave sandals under the street lamp and exchange money for foster mothers! 」
Hearing this, the old mother scolded with a clear expression: "You are really an unfilial son! You should know that street lamps are permanent public lights! It is used to illuminate pedestrians in the dark, not to weave straw sandals. How do you distinguish between public and private? What you did really violated the family! 」
After listening to his mother's reprimand, Zen master Yang Qi realized something, and so did he. After that, he prepared two lamps, namely, the upper lamp and the lower lamp. I use up my personal affairs and my business. The distinction between a Zen master's public lamp and a private lamp has long been a much-told story. Because of this, Zen master finally founded Yang Style, became a master, and was respected as the founder of Yang Style by later generations. The reason why Zen master has achieved so much is that he has a great mother. Only a great mother can raise a great son.
In order to commemorate the master's noble integrity of distinguishing between public and private, believing in cause and effect, and filial piety, the warehouse of the General Temple has "Yang Qi lights up through the ages; Baoshou ginger is spicy for thousands of years. Of course, the second couplet tells the story of Master Bao Shou, so I won't repeat it here.
In short, great children are brought up and educated by great mothers. Like the above four mothers, Meng Mu and Yumu teach their children to behave in a way that suits their students. Han Mu and Yang Mu teach their children to have negative behaviors. The education of these great mothers can also be used as a reference for parents today.