Children need a certain ability to resist setbacks, which can also be said to be the ability to bear setbacks. I have more than one year's tutoring experience in the primary school remedial classes around the school. During this time, I found that the primary school students' ability to resist setbacks is particularly poor, because when they meet some things, the first thing they think of is the teacher, and when they get home, they think of their parents. I'm thinking, if this goes on for a long time, will they feel dependent, will they lose confidence in themselves, and will excessive dependence make them lose their self-behavior and become more disgusted. The title of my thesis is based on these ordinary experiences. It is very important for children to be frustrated. What should parents do if their children are frustrated?

First, consider the performance of children's frustration ability from all aspects.

(A) the performance of weak frustration ability

1, unwilling to face failure, will be irritable, angry and even attack others after failure; 2. If you dare not try new things, you will easily say that I won't; 3, things can't persist and last long, and often give up halfway;

4, often blame others, blame all failures on others, or others' fault; 5. Strive for the first place in everything and take me as the center;

6. It is difficult to adapt to various new environments or change the environment for a while.

(2) What causes the decline of children's frustration ability?

1, spoil everything too much; 2. Doing something wrong is often scolded by parents;

3. Parents underestimate their children's abilities or set too high a goal for their children; 4. Being excessively child-centered at home; 5. Parents' encouragement is insufficient or excessive;

6. Many parents think that children have poor psychological endurance and should be protected;

7. Parents are afraid of losing, and children strive for "first" everywhere. , impulsive, weak self-control, especially

It's poor emotional control.

Second, parents' ability to correctly treat their children's frustration.

"example is better than words." Parents' attitudes and behaviors towards setbacks will exert a subtle influence on children's attitudes and behaviors. At the same time, you can also let your children be your role models. For example, every time a child overcomes a setback, parents can guide the child to record things.

In this way, when the child faces setbacks in the future, parents can remind him to look at these records and learn from himself. In life, parents can be children's "consultants" and teach their children some ways to overcome difficulties, but in the end, they should let their children make their own decisions and implement them themselves.

(A) rational evaluation of children

Some children are usually more competitive, strive for the first place in everything, and cannot tolerate others being better than themselves. It is associated with many people who are devastated when they encounter setbacks and even commit suicide to end their young lives. It is not too late to cultivate children's resilience.

As parents, we should seize the favorable opportunity to let our children face up to setbacks. For example, children accidentally fall, and some parents rush to pick up their children and stomp their feet desperately, accusing the floor of being wrong. In fact, it is easy for children to blame others when they grow up. I think the right thing to do is to encourage children to be brave. If the fall hurts, it doesn't matter if they cry a few times For older children, we can let them learn chess and go, and in the process of playing, they constantly suffer failures and victories. Sometimes, parents can take the initiative to create conditions at an appropriate time to let their children taste the taste of failure.

(2) Give enough love when you are frustrated.

It is very, very sad for the first group of children to evaluate the failure of the Young Pioneers. It took me two or three days to heal his depressed little heart. In fact, children need the love of their parents most at this time. At the same time, as parents, we should treat our children's honor calmly. Of course, it is gratifying for the children to win the prize, but parents don't need to be in high spirits and can keep a low profile. However, when children fail and are frustrated, we should pay attention to them, especially when children have done their best. We can reward and encourage him appropriately.

In 1970s, the "Junior Class" of China University of Science and Technology was famous all over the country. Among the outstanding "prodigies" of that year was Zhang Yaqin, the global vice president of Microsoft and the youngest academician of IEEE. But at that time, most people in the country only knew that there was a child named Ningbo. After 20 years, Ningbo has quietly disappeared from public view, while Zhang Yaqin, which was unknown at that time, was well-known at home and abroad. Why?

In the final analysis, it is the difference in their resilience that leads to today's gap. Because the growth process is too smooth, it is difficult for Ningbo to have the courage to face failure. After graduating from college, although Ningbo strongly hoped to apply for graduate students, she gave up hope again and again. Because he is too afraid of failure. In the face of setbacks, Zhang Yaqin has the courage to make progress and is not afraid of failure, which is the reason why he has achieved today.

Third, frustration education, parents' correct approach

"Frustration education" is actually to let children not only get happiness from the outside world, but also stimulate an instinct of self-seeking happiness from the heart. How should parents cultivate their children's resilience? First of all, parents should establish a sense of frustration education. Many parents think that children have poor psychological endurance and should be protected. This concept directly affects children. In fact, it is good for a person to suffer some setbacks, especially in the early days. Parents should correctly treat the educational value of setbacks as a good way to temper their will and improve their adaptability.

Secondly, parents should deliberately set some obstacles for their children. For children, it is inevitable that they will encounter difficulties and obstacles on the road to growth. If children are used to walking on a smooth road, listening to what they hear and doing what they like, they will not be used to it once they encounter difficulties, thus being helpless and nervous, which will easily lead to failure. Therefore, parents may wish to deliberately set some obstacles for their children in their daily study and life, or say "no" to their children's requirements and "add some calcium" to their children.

Third, parents should encourage their children to overcome difficulties and setbacks. Some children are prone to negative reactions in adversity, often become dejected and despondent, and adopt the way of retreating. To change this phenomenon, it is necessary to educate children to face setbacks bravely and challenge them when they encounter difficulties. For example, when children are afraid of heights and climb mountains and wrestle, they should be encouraged to say, "Don't be afraid, you can do it!"! What is a fall? " When children overcome difficulties again and again, they will increase their courage and stimulate their desire to overcome difficulties, their fears will disappear, their self-confidence will be enhanced and their ability to resist setbacks will be cultivated.

Psychologists point out that when people encounter setbacks, more than 90% people will choose five kinds of reactions: attack, degeneration, depression, stubbornness and withdrawal, while the proportion of positive thinkers is less than 10%. "Frustration is not always a bad thing, the key lies in the attitude towards setbacks." Psychologist Maslow's frustration has always been a catalyst for life to mature and achieve career, and a grinding wheel for sharpening will and perseverance. Life is rich only when there are setbacks. A life without setbacks is not a real life, nor can it be mature. "Frustration is wealth, and suffering is gold." We should let children have healthy and positive psychology, courage to overcome difficulties and ability to overcome setbacks.