Part II: Don't compare, be unique.
Part III: Don't worry, surpass yourself yesterday.
Part I: Do you know the secrets of nature? There are many things we don't know, which are worth exploring. Nature is our teacher, and learning from nature will often bring us unexpected gains, so that we can get out of the predicament we designed for ourselves.
There are so many things worth learning in nature. Doing things according to the law often gets twice the result with half the effort. Doing illegal things may get short-term results, but it often pays a price.
Do we know the secrets of nature? Let's take a look at nature together
Nature is rich and diverse, and human beings are just one of millions of species. I once went to a forest and liked the scenery there. There are low ferns and various towering trees. At first glance, there are hundreds of different kinds of plants, which are different and wonderful.
Looking back on our education, we always expect to cultivate standardized children, but each child is different. If all children become the same in the future, how much less wonderful will this world be? Some children are good at liberal arts, some children are good at science, some children are particularly good at sports cells, some children are developed in artistic cells, some children have good academic performance, and some children have high emotional intelligence ... If parents always expect their children to be standard good children, they will miss many advantages of their children. This requires parents to accept the diversity of children, appreciate the advantages of children, and understand that every child is a miracle of nature, because nature is diverse.
Natural growth emphasizes gradual and natural growth, but now some of our parents are too anxious to let their children finish several years of courses in one year. If a tree is watered and fertilized too much, it looks kind, but what will happen to the tree in the end?
Nature stresses the law, not quick success. Do you remember the story of encouraging seedlings to grow? If we are too anxious, let our children do a lot of things that should not be done at this stage, which will eventually harm them.
In our life, such cases are not uncommon. Some parents let their children do math problems at the age of three, which is not the best time for children's logical thinking. Some parents let their children do their homework in the first grade until evening 10. What should they do in high school? Teach children to master the rules and lay a solid foundation. What is this foundation? I think it is love, acceptance, self-identity, appreciation, virtue, creativity and imagination! When we lay these foundations, the backward forces will exceed our imagination. How can we cultivate these? It depends on our parents' micro-education! Bamboo grows roots in the first three years of growth, and then it can grow more than 10 meter ten days after germination. It's very important to accumulate wealth and thin hair, and it's very important to step by step!
Why is life in nature tenacious? Because of the ups and downs, plants in nature need to face all kinds of disasters from the moment they germinate from a seed.
In the Slender West Lake in Yangzhou, an old tree was split in half by lightning, but it still sprouted. Plants that have been baptized by nature are more resilient, and plants in greenhouses have lost their ability to face the wind and rain because they have been in a very comfortable growth environment. Once they are moved outdoors, they cannot survive! The ultimate goal of cultivating children is to make them face the road of life, and various crises are inevitable on the road of life. If children have not faced various crises under the guidance of their parents since childhood, they will not be able to face the ups and downs of life independently when they grow up. So don't cultivate children into flowers in the greenhouse, overcome their fears and let them face some things alone. In that case, the child may be a little sad, but the sad process is also a process of strengthening his own heart. If he can't get out of the pain, he will never grow up.
Where there are seeds, there are miracles of life, and the tenacity of life is beyond our imagination. As long as we sow a seed, as long as there is an opportunity, it will break through the ground. Therefore, parents should always sow the seeds in their hearts to their children, just sow them, and leave the results to nature when the seeds germinate and bloom.
What kind of seeds will parents peel? Sow the seeds of love, gratitude, optimism, help, faith, praise and habits ... I believe that these seeds with positive energy will eventually bring wonderful life to children at some point.
Nature tells us to appreciate different beings and teach students in accordance with their aptitude; Nature tells us that everything is regular, so we should take our time. Nature tells us that wind and rain are classes and experience is wealth; Nature tells us that if we plant good seeds, beautiful flowers will bloom!
Part II: Don't compare, be unique.
There are no two identical leaves and no two identical people in this world. Everyone has their own different mission. We should respect diversity, don't frame everyone with a standard, and don't always compare ourselves with others and lose our id.
Once people have the heart to compare with others, they will be unhappy and always torture themselves with the success of others. Everyone is different, and our comparison with others is often only a side comparison of life, not the whole of life. Then, why should we use part of unhappiness to make ourselves unhappy? Some people may envy others for being beautiful, but beautiful people don't necessarily have good talents, talented people don't necessarily have healthy bodies, healthy people don't necessarily have rich families, wealthy people don't necessarily have smooth careers, and successful people don't necessarily have happy marriages. ...
We will find that everyone in the world has their own difficulties, and we also know that we have our own difficulties. So, let's love ourselves. To love ourselves, we must love all ourselves and accept our imperfect selves!
No one wants to be compared, but we always unconsciously compare our children with other people's children and compare our partners with other people's partners. I've heard some wives say to their husbands, "Look who got a promotion and a raise. Why are you so useless? " Will this comparison make a man more confident and energetic, or will it make him lose the strength to continue fighting?
I have seen some parents treat their children like this. The children did well in the exam and got 95 points. They came back happily to share with their parents. After seeing the score, parents said: Good test! The child was very happy, and then the parents asked: What is the highest score in your class? Why didn't you get the highest score?
The excited expression of the child suddenly disappeared after hearing this, leaving only loneliness!
I once chatted with a junior high school student. He is extremely tired of studying. His parents said that he did well in school when he was a child. I don't know why this is happening now. Later, when chatting with this boy, he said that no matter how hard he tried, his parents were not satisfied. Even if he gets the first place in the class, he should be compared with the first place in the class. He felt that such efforts were meaningless.
Comparing with others is a discouraging behavior. Teachers often compare classmates, which will hurt children's self-esteem. Parents comparing their children will hurt their self-confidence. Managers compare their employees, which will discourage employees, because no one likes comparison.
There is a book worth reading, called happiness begins with acceptance. Anyway, accept all of yourself.
Be your best self. It is a miracle to believe that you came into this world. No matter how brilliant other people's flowers are, it is also a charm for us to keep our own fragrance. Anyway, accept everything from others and look at everything with appreciation, because appreciation is the beginning of beauty, and the world will become what we think. If we accept this, everything will be better than we thought.
Part III: Don't worry, surpass yourself yesterday.
When we are greedy, we are easily anxious. When we look inward, we find that we will be happy as long as we are better than ourselves yesterday. When we are in a hurry to grow, growth will not come. When we really want to make money, money doesn't come. So don't worry, take your time!
Sometimes, because of comparison, we get impatient. When we are impatient, we will easily lose our own rhythm, follow the rhythm of others, and finally lose our own heart.
Many domestic enterprises compete with each other, blindly pursue to surpass their opponents, do not follow their own situation step by step, funds can not keep up, teams can not keep up, management can not keep up, and finally go bankrupt. So, don't always think about surpassing your opponent, just surpass yourself yesterday.
Every day, we should start from small things to surpass ourselves, take part in one more study, make one more friend, share one more point of view, sum up one more experience, improve our wisdom and form a good habit ... In this little accumulation, we will unconsciously accumulate energy. If we can surpass ourselves a little bit every day instead of trying to make a one-time change, we will be more calm and steady.
Some principals of training schools are particularly anxious in the face of pressure, so I asked them, how long do you want to be educated? They said at least 30 years. Since we have to do education for 30 years, can we not be in such a hurry and make a little progress every day, even if we start from tutoring a good student, it is valuable!
Some parents want their children to be good, which is a comparison. I often ask parents why they must make their children work so hard. They say that the children around us are much harder than our children! Parents who sign up for training courses often keep up with the joneses. For example, their children can only learn New Concept English 1, but parents must let their children learn New Concept English 2. The reason is that their colleagues' children are as old as their own, so learn New Concept English 2! Such a comparison will eventually harm children, because each student has a different starting point.
In teaching, one of the guiding principles we give teachers is "i+ 1". "I" stands for the current level of students, and "1" stands for a little higher level. Don't change 1 into 2, 3, 4, because there are too many things beyond the level of children now.
"1" also tells us that micro-education should be carried out every day, starting from small things, conveying love and encouragement, conveying ideas and scientific methods, and finally reaching the other side we want to go. On the contrary, if we are in a hurry, we often convey anxiety, accusations and wrong methods.
Life is a marathon, which requires a reasonable distribution of physical strength. If you rush too fast at first, you will have no strength behind, and eventually you will not reach the finish line. Take your time and surpass yourself yesterday.