Let children live in the expectation of their parents, without the childlike innocence that teenagers should have; Parents are used to living in the expectation of their children and have lost their responsibilities as parents.

Family environment and educational environment, if they can't give wings to children's growth, will easily put shackles on their life development.

1, violent conflict

Fantasy about enjoying excessive happiness often brings extreme sadness, and people are used to expecting too much from someone or something. Once the result was not as expected, they began to fight and conflict endlessly.

Recently, I watched some films of jadeite original stone, and the most exciting thing was gambling stone. When I chose a piece of jade raw material that I thought was of good internal quality and cut it with a saw blade, there was nothing but stones in it, and my mind was in a hurry.

"Don't give up, don't give up" I don't believe that I can't find a good jade original stone, so I stepped into the original stone market again, full of hope and bursting again and again. Colorful dream soap bubbles are always fleeting, and my inner world fluctuates constantly until I am exhausted.

Similarly, holding extreme expectations for children will naturally lead to contradictions between children and parents. The contradiction between parents and children will intensify with the rising expectations, and the result can be foreseen for a long time.

2. The expectation of children brings him inner anxiety and debt.

I often hear parents say to their children, "I'm so lucky, I really suffer for you!" " I did it for your own good! "

There is no doubt that parents love their children. If it is unacceptable or unbearable for children, parents will always think it is their own fault.

But parents usually don't consider their children's feelings and look at the world from their children's point of view.

In front of children, parents' tiredness and bitterness are often mentioned, which makes children feel that this tiredness and bitterness comes from them and makes him feel guilty. The original intention is to encourage children to struggle upward and become the driving force for children to move forward. But the growth of nature has its own laws. As an independent individual, children have their own thoughts and ideas. When parents love too much and expect too much, and his cognition can't be accepted and borne, he will feel that he is a burden to his parents and feel guilty. He either wants to end his life or stay away from his parents.

3. If expectations are too high, there will be more restrictions.

The expectation is too high, the more requirements, the stricter the control!

Because of expectations, we always control everything about our children, which is equivalent to covering our children under their parents' aura, sheltering them under their parents' trees and always following orders. Meticulous care, but like a solid net, suppressed him in the family. Children have no secrets and privacy of their own. Even if they have their own ideas, they will be ruthlessly rejected by their parents. Everything about children is in the charge of parents, which often makes children grow up, and when they grow up, they become "giant babies".

Unable to bear the pressure from parents, I finally turned the pressure into obedience and no longer had my own ideas. It is not that children are not independent, but that parents deprive children of the opportunity to be independent.

? Excessive expectations bring great pressure, but without goals in life, there is no direction to move forward.

It is normal for parents to have expectations for their children, because only by setting goals can children have the motivation to struggle. However, parents need to understand their children's needs, take his ideas seriously, and can't impose them on their children according to their own ideas, so that his young body bears too heavy a burden.

Family education is not entirely left to children to develop themselves, nor should it be entirely decided by parents. It needs the middle road. For family education, the expectation for parents may not be that children need to reduce their burdens, but that parents need to reduce their burdens and maintain a slightly balanced state in the parent-child relationship.

In other words, when parents learn to be selfish in family education, when children learn to grow up.