In this case, Mr. Fu's son was addicted to playing mobile games, unwilling to communicate with his parents, and grumpy until he misappropriated his parents' money to recharge. Teacher Fu's method only limits children's time to play games, which not only has no effect but also leads to tension between parents and children. This case is a projection of the current situation of many family education, and even some families have had relatively painful and vicious incidents.
Many parents, like Mr. Fu, only see their children playing games and blindly solve the problem of playing games, ignoring their own educational behavior. Among the many results caused by children's addiction to games, we can see many problems in family education.
The first is the narrowing of family education. In this case, Mr. Fu lacks professional sensitivity. At the beginning of online teaching, he didn't think deeply about what kind of prediction teachers need to make in the change of teaching methods. He just thinks that if children get good grades, they will sit back and relax. This is also the concept of many parents-"only achievement theory." Good grades "cover up all ugliness", and don't take ability and quality as the focus of education. Teacher Fu, like most parents, failed to help children develop their self-management ability, failed to teach them the ability to express their demands reasonably, and even failed to pay attention to the education of children's awareness of rules, which made them unable to resist the temptation of games.
Second, the family education behavior is single. Educational behavior reflects educational ideas. What one of my parents said was amazing: "We are parents for the first time, but we have no chance to make up for our poor work." It can be said that most parents are "hereditary parents", learning parenting methods from their own growth experiences and parents, but such heredity tends to ignore the influence of the background of the times. According to the questionnaire survey of students, most of the educational behaviors adopted by parents are preaching, reprimanding and mocking, and the most encouragement is material reward, and parent-child communication focuses on learning content. Therefore, children are increasingly reluctant to communicate with their parents, especially their parents' oral language "for your own good" ranks first among students' most annoying words. Teacher Fu unilaterally reduced his son's play time, ignored the children's feelings, and set learning and play against each other, so as to judge the children. How do parents and children reach a consensus? The effect can be imagined.
Teacher fu should reflect, and his son can't resist the temptation of the game. What responsibility should he bear? Family education is the homework of parents. The publication of the national document on family education emphasizes the importance of family education, and educators must have a keen awareness. Teacher Fu can reflect on the following aspects:
First, family education should attach importance to children's moral development. It can be seen from the case that Mr. Fu's son gradually exposed various problems in his growth because of the temptation of the game: First, the child's self-management ability is insufficient; Second, poor parent-child communication; Third, children automatically use their parents' money privately, without establishing a rational consumption concept and lacking a sense of rules.
Rule consciousness needs to be cultivated from childhood, self-management ability comes from habit formation, and communication ability is an important ability for students' social development. The concept of equality and respect contained in it is an indispensable part of family education. This is related to the development of children's life, and it is difficult to make up for ignoring or missing opportunities. Compared with academic performance, who children associate with, what they like to do and what qualities they have are more important, because these are the basis for children to feel life and settle down. Family education must first break through the "achievement-only theory".
Second, family education should be based on the individual needs of children. Children are independent individuals, and what they do is to express their spiritual needs. Children are addicted to games, some are based on the need of communication, and some are based on the need to gain a sense of value. Teacher Fu's son said that "I will be engaged in the game industry in the future" is a true expression of the child. Teacher Fu's homework should be to find information and tell children what they need to engage in the game industry with facts to show their parents' support and understanding, or to warn their children of improper behavior.
In the case, the money misappropriated by the children is not small, which shows that the temptation is great. Parents should pay more attention to their children's words and deeds, consciously understand their thoughts and feel their confusion. I think Mr. Fu's son must be full of guilt when he embezzled his parents' money for the first time. He must have done a lot of things. However, because parents ignore the little changes of children, children go further and further on the road of games. At the same time, Mr. Fu may neglect the necessary rules education and discipline education in family education because of his son's excellent grades, which makes the children constantly give up their bottom line, which is also the root of many family tragedies. At present, discipline education has also become the focus of school education. Discipline education is more about rules, and the formation of rules is strengthened in childhood, which can be gradually internalized into the norms of one's own behavior. Therefore, when carrying out personalized education, family education should pay special attention to changing educational content and means in different periods of children's physical and mental development. Growth is trial and error, education is guidance, and guiding children to face and solve problems independently is also one of the purposes of education.
Third, family education should expand parents' role consciousness. Parents' role consciousness should be the premise of effective family education behavior. Many times, parents are supervisors and have great authority. But the case tells us that children not only don't believe in your authority, but also do things that challenge it, and even close communication channels after the incident, leaving parents at a loss. Parents with a variety of role consciousness will change their ideas and carefully design educational content. Peer will care about children's emotions; Help seekers will understand the child's confusion; Partners will understand the difficulties of children. At the same time, parents should have a sense of enriching family life, such as riding, running and reading with their children, exchanging opinions with their children and getting the common growth of family members.
This case focuses on the appearance of education, but it gives us profound enlightenment. As a class teacher, we should think more and investigate more with Mr. Fu, so that educational behavior can show more educational wisdom and help children's development.
(Jiang is the head teacher of Zhonghua Middle School in Shanghai, a full-time senior teacher, the top ten class teachers in Shanghai, and the host of the workshop of excellent class teachers in Xuhui District Senior Middle School)
China Teachers' Newspaper 202 1 April 2 1 June 10.
Author: Jiang