Why do such children have a "servile" mentality? Why do you lack opinions in everything and listen to other people's arrangements?
1, parents are too strong
In life, some parents love their children, but some parents are too strict with their children, especially strict parents. They usually want their children to obey everything in order to establish their authority as parents. Under the strict control of parents, children will gradually become more and more obedient, and finally act in full accordance with their parents' wishes and become "good children" that parents like.
2. Strengthen the effect.
In daily life, many parents always educate their children to be good. This kind of parental reinforcement has little effect on extroverted and bold children. But if children are more obedient and cooperative, they will exchange "good" for their parents' love. Over time, they will gradually lose their opinions.
3, due to improper.
Some parents like to compare their children with other children, and will use other children's standards to demand their children. Common ways are: "Look at Xiao Ming, how obedient he is." "You should learn from Xiaoming, who never talks back to his parents." When children really change towards this standard, the "servility" mentality will also arise.
4, caused by negative imitation
Some children love to obey their parents because their parents always obey others. Children who imitate passively will naturally become obedient.
If a child is very good, obedient, catering to others, without feeling wronged and happy, it would be fine. Because such children are more compassionate and have less opinions: but if children always let themselves be wronged to cater to others, there is a problem.
Children who are too obedient and obedient will lose the initiative to do things independently. When they grow up, their subjective initiative and creativity will be worse. Therefore, parents should actively guide their children if they are too obedient. The specific method is as follows:
(1) consultation mode
For children who are too good. Parents should ask their children more opinions, especially about their own affairs, from what clothes to what interest classes to attend, such as "What time are you going to get up tomorrow" and "What do you want for breakfast in the morning". In addition, parents should encourage their children to express their views on some things. Even if he disagrees with his parents, they should praise him for having his own ideas.
? (2) the correct interpretation method
Some children are afraid to express their views and opinions for fear of being criticized by others. At this time, parents should tell their children that expressing their opinions is your right and no one can deprive them, such as speaking at school class meetings and asking questions from teachers. As long as children understand that this is their right, they will try to exercise it instead of just hiding their thoughts in their hearts.
(3) Give children a relaxed growth environment.
If children "grovel" because of violent education, parents should try their best to create a relaxed environment for their children. The environment here not only refers to material aspects, but also includes psychological aspects. Comparatively speaking, psychological relaxation is more important, such as respecting children, listening to their suggestions and respecting their choices.