First of all, children worship reason.
1, blindly follow the trend
Children will have their own social circle after school. The preferences of friends in this circle will affect children. Maybe children really like this idol, or maybe they just like it to cater to people around them. He may have a common topic with his friends and can only choose to follow blindly.
It may also be that children watch the latest hit TV series, variety shows or movies. Some of them perform particularly well and may gain a large number of fans, including your children.
2, the establishment of abstract thinking ability
In addition to chasing specific stars, idolization may also chase some relatively abstract people and things. When children reach a certain age, their abstract thinking ability is gradually established. At this time, they are very interested in some abstract novels, movies and online worlds. They may be addicted to novels or movie characters and a virtual game, which also forms an idol phenomenon.
3. Worship his skills.
Today's entertainment stars are actually versatile, either singing and dancing well, or knowing many languages or musical instruments, or acting online, so children may be attracted by their brilliance and think this person is very powerful.
Parents can judge the reason why children like this person through their usual behavior, so as to find a better opportunity to talk about this topic with their children. After understanding the reasons of idolization, we should also judge what kind of state he is in at present and whether idolization has affected his study and life.
Second, judge the degree of idolization.
1, rational idolization
If children usually just follow the drama, watch variety shows and movies with idols, pay for his new songs, or go to concerts with their hard-earned pocket money, it is actually within the rational range. As long as children don't affect their grades, their daily life is a positive idolization behavior, and parents don't have to interfere too much.
2. Irrational worship
When children are found to scrimp and save, or often ask their parents for money to buy goods brought by idols, or wear the same clothes and jewelry as he used to wear, and consume products that don't match his ability, they will enter an irrational behavior.
In addition to unreasonable use of money, we should also judge whether time is used reasonably. If a child attacks others in order to help his idol brush tickets, grab tickets, attend fan parties, or even protect his idol, he will spend a lot of time watching his mobile phone, which will seriously affect his work and rest, study and even values, and will definitely affect his personality development and physical development.
At this time, parents must intervene.
Third, how to guide children to idolize?
1, don't stop.
When parents find that their children have their favorite idols, don't judge each other without knowing each other, such as blindly criticizing other people's clothes and looks. When a child has an idol, if you openly deny him, question him and criticize his idol, he will have resistance to you and feel that you don't understand him, and then he will only gradually alienate you.
2. Worship children.
When a child first expresses his idol to you, if you don't know this person, you can ask him why and what qualities he likes. Talk to your children and make them feel that you are a trustworthy person.
After that, parents can get to know this person through the internet and try to find the bright spot in him. If the children's favorite people have participated in some variety shows or TV dramas and movies, parents can also watch them with their children to narrow the distance between them.
Parents can also share their favorite idols with their children, and share the process and things you have done in idolization, so that children can have a correct view of idolization.
If you think your child is idolized rationally, you can also reward him with a record of his idol on his birthday or after getting good grades in the exam, or go to a concert with him to grasp the degree of idolization. These things can actually promote his progress.
Usually when a child shows off his idol, parents can listen to him patiently and use this idol to promote your parent-child relationship.
3, clear boundaries
There are many ways for children to like stars. Parents should guide their children to master this appropriate boundary. If they just like it, or idolize it in some free ways, that's better.
However, if the child is still in school, has not been able to make money, and has spent a lot of money and time on idolization, then parents must make it clear to their children that you can spend money on idolization, but pocket money will still be given according to the agreed amount, and will not give you much more because of idolization.
Because idolization is your business, parents should show respect and let their children respect your decision. You can't ask them to increase their pocket money for this reason. Only when the boundary is clear, can children's idolization behavior be better controlled within a reasonable range, which will play a binding role to some extent.
4. Calm down and have a good talk with your child.
When parents find that idolization begins to enter an irrational stage, don't stop it by violent means. You can talk to your child first, let him talk about his current situation, for example, let him evaluate whether these behaviors have affected his schedule, the efficiency of completing homework, and the results of mid-term and final exams. If he is aware of this problem, he can discuss what adjustments to make together.
Parents can ask their children to list the things that idols usually do, such as how much time they spend chasing dramas, watching variety shows and voting. Let them classify these things, remove the unimportant things first, and insist on not doing these things for a week or six months to see if the quality of sleep has improved and whether the grades have improved. If feasible, it proves that this method is effective and does not need to reduce other idolization behaviors. If it still fails, we should continue to reduce more idolization time.
This process makes the child feel your sincerity to help him, and makes him aware of his own problems and work together to solve them instead of causing other contradictions.
5. Find the bright spots of the stars and let the children learn.
Idolization, a child, may only be interested in his face value, height and so on. But in fact, there are some bright spots in the stars that are worth learning. For example, some stars have high academic qualifications or know many languages, or have a skill. Parents can encourage their children to learn from them when they find out, so that they may fall in love with a certain musical instrument or try to get into a school. As long as this idol can promote children's progress and make him a child's goal, idolization actually has a certain positive effect.