Children enter adolescence, have grown from children to adults, and have begun to form their own thoughts. They no longer depend on their parents to survive, they can handle their own affairs and want to be independent. Many parents can't see the change of their children, and they still discipline their children in the old way, which is bound to arouse their resentment. Parents feel that their children are becoming more and more disobedient and don't know how to get along with them. Hou Ma focuses on parenting education and discusses with parents how to educate adolescent children.
1. Parents should treat their children as adults, put themselves in their shoes, don't suppress them like adults, communicate with them equally, and pay attention to their tone of voice.
Parents should respect their children, encourage and praise them more, don't beat and scold them in front of outsiders, and give them more positive hints.
Parents should care about their children's inner thoughts, help them more, and let them trust their parents, so that they can enter their hearts and children will naturally accept their parents.
Parents should give their children more freedom and space, let go of their children appropriately, and believe that children can handle their own affairs well.
The values of adolescent children are forming, but their thoughts are not yet mature. Parents should guide them to establish correct values and not be influenced by bad social atmosphere.
Parents who want to learn parenting knowledge can pay attention to me, and Hou Ma will share it with you every day.
I am also the parent of two children. The older ones are girls, but there is not much rebellion in the process of growing up. The younger one is a boy, who has been particularly rebellious since the third year of high school. He has felt very comfortable for the past six months and has something to say to his parents. Frequent communication with him is also smooth. Let me talk about my feelings.
1. Adolescent children don't like adult preaching, especially nagging preaching. They have their own ideas and cognitive abilities, and they are particularly disgusted with blind preaching. After a long time, it is easy to cause what we call "rebellion", which is actually a manifestation of children growing up slowly.
Second, adolescent children don't like their parents to take care of too much, urging homework, eating and all kinds of urging. Parents should learn to let go and believe that their children have the ability to handle their own affairs.
Third, don't always think that he is still a child, and their self-esteem is getting stronger and stronger. Don't compare with other children in grades, learn awareness and understanding, and laugh at and ridicule children. You should respect them, and you can't tell everyone even if you don't do well in the exam.
Fourth, don't think of yourself as a policeman. Every day, I only pay attention to my child's shortcomings and always want to change. You should communicate patiently with your children in an equal manner.
In a word, don't worry too much. Look at today, it doesn't seem to meet your expectations. Judge that the child must have no future. Label the children. Remember to always keep a peaceful attitude towards children, and children can get along well with you. Don't vent your emotions on children. Give your child a true self and be a true self.
Hello, I am Peng Huayong, a psychological counselor, specializing in counseling and solving psychological problems in adolescent education. The author "The more effective education, the easier it is". Welcome to follow me.
Many people always equate adolescence with rebellious period, because children's self-awareness will gradually increase during this period, and parents are no longer needed, and communication between parents and children will become difficult.
Different standpoints and consciousness will also lead to "tense" communication between parents and children, and sometimes they will accuse each other without saying a few words, either ending with the child slamming the door or the parents sighing.
When asked "what is the most difficult thing to communicate with adolescent children", many foreign parents are also complaining.
1. Understand first, then talk about the consequences.
When children encounter difficulties or make mistakes, learn to look at the whole problem from the child's point of view first, which will help parents to better guide their children to make better choices.
For example, if your child's exam results are not satisfactory, you can try to communicate with him like this when you go home.
"I can't imagine what can make you feel worse now.
Come and give me a hug.
Tell me, what can I do for you? Or is there any solution to this problem? "
Give yourself some time.
When you feel angry or disappointed because of your children, whether in words or actions, don't respond immediately when your emotions are out of control.
Instead, you should give yourself some time or space to calm down.
If you can't calm down at once, you can say this to your children.
"You're not ready, it's your problem.
But I'm angry now. I need to calm down, and then we can discuss how to deal with this problem. "
3. Don't lose your temper
If you know that your child had a minor traffic accident while driving, it is estimated that all kinds of emotions will come to your mind: worrying about the child's safety, angry at his inexperience, followed by a lucky escape and the pressure of car maintenance costs.
Of course, usually parents' first reaction is anger, but anger only shows your emotions and doesn't actually convey any useful information.
Let's take a step back and try to look at it from the perspective of a traumatized child.
From the sentence "It's terrible, I'm glad you're all right now", you will find that what stands in front of you is only a fragile child waiting for help, not a teenager who resists talking back, and then the communication between the two sides will be more fruitful, instead of always wandering in resentment and accusation.
4. Don't keep nagging
Parents' nagging seems to be a kind of nature, trying to avoid children making mistakes.
However, children learn from themselves through trial and error before they are minors or even after they become adults.
Don't exaggerate everything. In this sensitive period, the rules that parents should follow are: let go of small things and take care of big things.
If you don't clean your room, like to lose things and forget to do housework, don't take these things to the stage of "crusade". What you want to educate your children is to treat people with courtesy and learn to plan. Even if children make some mistakes, it is more effective for them to learn from their own failures than to passively accept training.
If you keep reminding your child, he may think that he will never have to worry about future challenges, so that he can't really understand his responsibilities, and he will put both sides in an inevitable pressure.
Sometimes it is enough to remind once or twice, and it is best to do it when the child can hear it.
Once you nag about children's minor problems, when you want to discuss major issues with them in the future, maybe they will subconsciously reject and refuse.
5. Don't help children solve problems.
One of the responsibilities of parents is to guide their children to make wiser choices and cultivate their independent thinking ability to meet many challenges in this world.
You don't have to give all the answers to adolescent puzzles, and you don't have to try to give a standard answer.
What you can do is to answer your child softly when he asks for help. "Let me think about how to answer you. If you can't think of it, we can find the answer together. "
This is a reasonable response from parents and one of the ways to help them think more and communicate more.
get ready
If your child talks back, quarrels with you, or interrupts you, you may feel angry, embarrassed or even speechless.
If you predict the scene in advance, think about what you should say to your child when you are angry, so that when the situation really happens, you will not be helpless and will not say hurtful words angrily.
For example, "I don't agree with your behavior now, but let's calm down." "Let's discuss what will happen if this continues." "You can do whatever you want, but you can't do everything."
Write it at the end
Communicating with teenagers is a headache. In fact, parents sometimes just ask "what are your plans" to start good communication between parents and children.
They are quite mature psychologically and physically. They already know what they should do and how to do it.
If they are confused, parents can help them make a scientific and reasonable plan, which can not only show respect for their children, but also teach them a sense of responsibility and cultivate good planning ability.
If you disagree with your child next time, please take some time to think about your coping style, including language and behavior, and make sure to respond under emotional control.
Many times, the answer is actually very simple. You should treat him as you want him to treat you.
Try to answer:
Adolescent children generally have these characteristics!
1. Physical changes, changes in thinking, changes in behavior, changes in language and communication. The biggest feature is blx, and sometimes the mood is unstable.
Second, children begin to like being their own masters, and sometimes they like being alone.
After talking about children, say a few words that parents should pay attention to!
First, we must first adjust the parents' own mentality and create a relaxed and warm family atmosphere for their children as much as possible.
Second, spend more time with your children and just stay at home. Adjust the children's diet to meet the reasonable requirements of parents as much as possible.
Third, parents should try their best to let their children make up for small things themselves (not a matter of principle). Parents and children must pay attention to words, tone, affirmation and praise when communicating with each other in daily life.
Fourth, parents are advised to read more books (generally Xinhua Bookstore sells books on how adolescent children guide education).
Fifth, enrich and strengthen language knowledge (such as advanced humor). Take your children out for a walk and get close to nature when you are free (this is a good opportunity to make friends with your children). Finally, learn to fight with children!
If this suggestion can help everyone! It will be my great honor! thank you
The problem is a bit big, not that Ma Yun's mother is afraid to write the answer.
The expectation of teaching is the core of the problem, that is, what height you want your child to reach. Health first, study second, this is my expectation for my boy. The communication is as follows:
1, listen more and make suggestions in time. After school, listen to him more and truly feel his joy and anger.
2. Observe more and pay attention to details. Go out and look in the mirror, have puppy love. The pressure of grinding teeth at night is too great. At this time, avoid nagging and complaining from family members.
3. The execution of penalty should be discussed. How to punish skipping class and playing ball? The child said: three days without food. I don't agree. In fact, the wrong teacher in the school has been punished. We should respect the principle of no more punishment for one thing. So we decided that we can skip class once if we get 500 points, and skip the old class once if we get 530 points. Is it unprincipled? This is a secret between parents and children, and I will never tell the old class before I die.
Just say the precautions, the methods vary from person to person, but you are full of happiness after six years.
Rufen 10
Follow his grave and cut its pieces. If you don't see a gentleman, you will be hungry. nickel
Squid tail destroyed, royal family destroyed. Although destroyed, parents are Confucius.
Adolescent children are rebellious and most people think it is normal. But I don't know if you have noticed, but there are also many families whose children have no rebellious behavior during adolescence. This involves parents' childhood education in the family. Share your experience.
1. The child is rebellious, subconsciously thinking that he has grown up and can leave the care of his parents and want to fly alone. Parents should communicate with their children in this situation, and they should not be impatient or even out of control.
2. Respect children's thoughts and practices. The child has done something you think is out of line, so you can't generalize. How the child develops, parents give guidance in the general direction, and he needs to go by himself in the future.
3. To change many ideas is to put yourself in the other's shoes. Think from the children's point of view, and let the children think from the parents' point of view. Be considerate of the difficulties of others.
4. Observe the child's behavior from the details and care for the child. You can't interfere too much with children, and you can't ignore them. Grasp your own degree.
With the change of living environment, some children want to get rid of their parents' control.
1. As parents, it is more important to give children space, especially in adolescence. Don't always think from your own point of view, even if you are right, children have their own ideas. Parents can express their opinions, not directly deny their own ideas.
2. Communicate with children more and find common topics. Adolescent children are always carrot and stick. The more they are forced, the less they listen. Parents should learn to think differently.
Children in this period are particularly sensitive and strong, and they don't want adults to interfere in his life too much. You should give him more time and space, and communicate with him more, instead of blindly making her obey and giving children more respect. Similarly, you should encourage them to communicate their inner thoughts in time. I remember that I didn't like my parents and talked back to them. Now think about it, everyone will have that period, and then it will be fine.
I suggest not being too strict with him. Everyone will rebel during adolescence. Everyone has a different degree of rebellion. If you are too strict with him, I am afraid it will backfire. However, managing it is necessary. You know, if you don't get good grades, give him encouragement and let him make progress, so that the children will think that my study is meaningful. If I don't go home, I can only beat and scold. Not too heavy. I should tell my children about it afterwards. Being reasonable is not necessarily your child's fault. In short, don't put too much pressure on your child. It is said that there is pressure and motivation, but you should also know that where there is oppression, there is resistance.