What can parents do to cultivate their children into talents?
First, the best way to cultivate talents
Psychological suggestion indicates that talents are cultivated through positive suggestion.
Especially in the early education stage, positive suggestion has magical power and can connect love and instinct well.
In the process of transforming an ordinary child into a talent, positive psychological suggestion plays a great role.
Martin, a professor at Edinburgh University and a famous educational psychologist, once did such an experiment:
He randomly divided a group of children into group A and group B, and then told the teacher that the children in group A were better than those in group B, no matter from the perspective of quality and will, or from the perspective of intelligence and expertise. After receiving such a hint, the teacher began to teach the children. In fact, there is no difference between the two groups of children's knowledge taught by the teacher, but after one semester, the performance of group A students is indeed much better than that of group B students. Professor Martin has done similar experiments more than once and the results are the same.
Why? Quite simply, the early psychological hints of relatives, friends and teachers have a great influence on children, which can affect their lives.
Martin, a famous psychologist and professor at Edinburgh University, said: "Ninety percent of outstanding people with noble moral character and outstanding wisdom must have received positive hints from their grandparents, fathers, especially mothers and other relatives at a very young age."
The survey shows that heredity has little influence on people's personality, and the acquired living environment, that is to say, the hints of people around and parents, is the important factor that determines the formation of children's personality.
Children aged 0-5, in particular, are very curious and will imitate every move of people around them, especially their parents' behaviors and ways of doing things.
A child is like a blank sheet of paper. What color you paint, what kind of background color his life will have. When children don't grow up, parents have to bear great responsibilities.
Parents' words and deeds will be subtly mapped to their children. Parents are rude, and children will be rude; When parents are elegant, children will be elegant.
It can be said that parents' true views on their children even determine their future. Children will judge who they are according to what people around them say and do.
Parents must set an example for their children if they want to train them into adults. Words and deeds affect children's character and quality. Because these qualities are more important than knowledge and ability.
Parents should keep this sentence in mind: "wrapping children with positive hints and letting them grow up healthily in hints is the best way to cultivate talents."
If the child is unwilling to study, parents can gently and firmly say to the child, "You should be strong and study hard". If you tell your child that "you were not born to learn", after a long time, your child will become inferior and cowardly.
Parents can refer to the following six aspects to regulate their behavior.
(1) Don't use negative hints for children.
For children who are not good at learning, please ask parents to think about it. Do you often say in front of their children, "Our child is so stupid that he will never remember what you taught him?"
This is a negative hint. Negative suggestion will corrode children's mental health and make them lose self-confidence and feel inferior more and more.
What kind of person do you want your child to be and how do you evaluate him?
(2) suggests to be full of sincere love.
Parents should recognize their children from the heart, not perfunctory. Think about your inner feelings after the last sincere/perfunctory comment from others, and you will understand how powerful sincere positive hints are.
(3) Hint to make children feel happy.
When communicating with children, be gentle and firm, so that children will listen to you.
Of course, parents are still strict about the bottom line of principles, but the key point is to solve problems and let children learn and grow from them. Without adding some punishment.
(4) behave appropriately in front of children.
If parents like to treat others condescendingly, children will certainly follow their parents. Such children will become selfish and irritable when they grow up. Therefore, parents should set a good example for their children and shape their character with appropriate words and deeds.
⑤ Be patient with children.
No matter how naive the children ask questions, parents should give timely attention and patient answers. Let children learn to ask questions about themselves and be confident.
6. Don't scare the children.
Many parents like to scare their children with ghosts or police: "Don't cry, or the monster will eat you." Children will be afraid of your hints.
As children grow up, the seeds of fear will take root in their hearts, and children will become timid, cowardly, inferior and sensitive.
Hint plays a very important role in children's growth.
If children want to grow up healthily, parents must manage their words and deeds and create a garden full of positive energy and positive hints for their children.
Second, talents are educated.
Suppose the child is a "log". If you cut him in half, he can be used as firewood. You carve him, and he becomes a sculpture; You leave him alone and let him rot in the forest, then he can only be a rotten piece of wood.
Whether a child can succeed depends on education.
Children's intelligence and quality depend on their education and surrounding hints.
Positive hints from relatives and friends, like magical life magic, have an extraordinary effect on children's growth. Negative hints from friends and relatives, like poison, stifle children's beautiful potential.
My neighbor, Yun Yun's mother, is very strict with her children. As long as children make mistakes, they will inevitably be reprimanded and humiliated.
I remember one time, after the rain, I accidentally splashed water while riding in the community and got my clothes dirty. At this moment, I heard Yun Yun's mother keep saying to her child, "Why are you so stupid?" How many times have I told you not to get your clothes dirty? You just have a bad memory. "
Yun Yun stood there and said timidly to his mother, "I'm sorry, mom, I'll be careful next time." I didn't expect Yun Yun's mother to say, "What's the use of being sorry? You just don't have a long memory. "
You see, this mother doesn't use positive hints to help her child grow up with the help of her children's problems, but uses negative hints to stifle her children.
Many parents want their children to succeed, but they use the wrong method.
Although children's education comes from schools and families, family education plays a key role in children.
Even if the child makes a mistake, parents should not reprimand the child with a serious expression. Just gently and sternly explain to your child and tell him how to avoid it next time.
Many teachers and parents don't understand the true meaning of education and turn children who could have made wood carvings into rotten wood.
Third, two-step training of talents.
The story of Meng Mu's three movements tells us that the environment has a great influence on people. Environment can affect people's future, personality and even life.
In an elegant environment, the brain will accept elegant hints and naturally become an elegant person; When a person is in a confident environment, his brain will accept the hints of self-confidence and naturally become a confident person.
The inducement and suggestion of the environment can affect a person's life.
Paulette Bernheim, a famous French psychotherapist, said: "All stimuli from the environment are enzymes that act on the whole person's activities."
The first step of talent training: creating a good family environment.
Environmental suggestion is divided into: materialized environmental suggestion+psychological environmental suggestion. A good family environment includes two parts: room layout+family atmosphere.
Among them, the influence of family atmosphere on children's psychological quality is enormous.
Parents should not only decorate a room conducive to children's growth (all kinds of children's books, warm colors of the room, all kinds of rich graphics, etc.). ), but also create a warm and harmonious family atmosphere for children.
A child is a mirror, reflecting all parents' thoughts, habits and attitudes.
Parents do well, and everything reflected in the mirror is beautiful; My parents didn't do well, and what was reflected in the mirror was a gloomy cloud.
The education level of parents is related to the development level of children's talents. Education is the most complicated art in the world, which needs some knowledge as its support.
Family atmosphere has a vital influence on children's psychological quality. If family members respect and love each other, their feelings are sincere, intimate and friendly, and the family atmosphere is warm and happy, then children will become friendly, gentle and honest in a subtle way; On the contrary, if family members are indifferent, hostile and estranged, and the family atmosphere is dark and depressing, then after a long time, children will become selfish, indifferent, timid and humble.
A family environment with love for parents, democracy, freedom and harmonious atmosphere can give children a sense of belonging and happiness, and children can let go of the pressure and bondage at home and gain a sense of spiritual security; On the contrary, if the family is extremely disharmonious, parents quarrel or quarrel, and the neighborhood relationship is rigid, then the child will subconsciously fear and escape, be unwilling to return to this home, and even resent and hate, so that he is self-exiled and willing to fall.
The second step of talent training: when the child is young, awaken the child's subconscious and stimulate the child's potential.
Children are immature in mind and weak in strength. Easily influenced by hints.
When children are young, parents should use enough positive, positive and sufficient hints to their children in daily life, so that their talents and potentials can be better tapped.
To stimulate children's potential, we must do the following three things.
1 respect children.
The child is an independent person. Need to be respected as adults. A person who has never been respected must not know how to respect others.
Many parents think that making choices for their children is a sign of responsibility. But many times, they reprimand their children when they don't know how to choose and don't do it.
If you don't give him a chance, how can he learn from it? Sooner or later, children have to live independently.
Parents should give their children a little freedom to grow up, respect them and let them choose what they want to learn and what kind of friends they want to make.
2 encourage and praise children.
William james said: "The deepest desire in human nature is the desire to praise others."
Think about the last time you were praised by others. How do you feel?
Praise is very powerful. Praise will make children feel capable.
Always tell your child "Your painting is realistic", "Your English pronunciation is standard" and "You have made great progress", so as to bring out the best side of your child and make him the best self.
"Praise is the sunshine that shines on our hearts. Without it, our hearts can't grow. " Shakespeare once said this.
③ Teach children to make positive self-suggestion.
Mark Aurelius said, "A man's life is what he wants to be."
If a child thinks he is stupid, he will become stupid, because that is what he wants to be.
This is the power of suggestion.
William james once said, "Our greatest discovery is that we can change our lives by changing our thoughts."
Tell children to keep saying to themselves: "I can do it", "I am brave", "I have a super memory" and "I am very capable"
It is not difficult to train children to become talents. From now on, be a conscientious parent. Record your child's daily changes, and you will find that your child is changing day by day and getting better and better.