Educate children
Teachers demand consistency.
Cultivating children's good habits requires teachers to have the same requirements in education. First of all, families (parents, grandparents and others in the family) should have the same requirements for their children. For example, it is impossible to cultivate good habits if parents are strict and grandparents connive.
Secondly, family and kindergarten education should be consistent. Now many children can eat and dress by themselves in kindergarten, but when they get home, it's completely different. If children behave differently at home and in the garden, it means that they have not developed good habits, and it also reflects that the family has not cooperated well in this respect. If families and kindergartens work closely together, better results can be achieved.
Establish rules
Parents should make rules for their children according to their age characteristics. CCTV's "Living Space" column once reported that a five-year-old child's life is very organized, with his toy cabinets, small bookshelves and drawers. He organized it all by himself. At an early age, I initially developed a good habit of loving neatness, labor and organization, which is commendable. According to the report, since the child was two years old, his mother has made rules for him, asking him to take back his toys after playing. If he doesn't, his mother will confiscate them. It is precisely because the mother pays attention to rules and strict requirements that the children gradually develop the good habit of sorting things out and being neat and orderly.
The method is right.
To cultivate children's good habits, we should adopt corresponding methods according to their age characteristics. For young children, we should use the methods that children like to guide the cultivation of good habits. For example, cultivate the habit of taking back toys for two or three-year-old children. At the beginning of training, parents can say to their children in a game tone: "The toy is going home, please help it find a home and send it home!" This is much better than making demands on children in a dry way. When children put away their toys, parents should give affirmation and praise in time. After the child is praised, he will definitely repeat this good behavior next time.
Persistence and strict requirements
Habit is a relatively stable behavior tendency gradually developed through repeated practice. Therefore, cultivating children's good habits is by no means a one-off event. As parents, you can't ask for it when you think of it, and you can't put it down when you think of it. You should persevere and train day after day, so that children can form good habits.
For example, it is agreed that children can't eat snacks casually, but as long as they cry and make trouble, parents will be soft-hearted, often accommodating and accommodating, until they are defeated, ending in compromise, and then developing to be responsive, leading children to develop the bad habit of eating snacks casually. There are also many parents who have achieved results in cultivating their children's good habits. This is due to their rational love for children, the combination of love and strictness, consistency, unremitting requirements and patient cultivation.
1, not picky about food, balanced nutrition is very important.
It's time for children to grow up, so it's especially important to cultivate their good habit of not being picky about food. Children who are not picky eaters are healthier and have better intellectual development.
2. Go to bed early and get up early, and embrace a healthy life.
Many children like to stay up late under the influence of their parents, but this is very harmful to their physical development. Adequate and regular sleep is not only beneficial to children's health, but also enables children to meet every day with vitality.
3, punctuality, good credit starts from punctuality.
Establishing children's concept of time from an early age can cultivate children's good quality of honesty and trustworthiness. Parents need to set an example for children to form a good habit of punctuality from an early age.
4. Love reading and grow up in reading.
Reading is a habit, and children who like reading tend to have broader horizons, higher emotional intelligence and are more sensible. Set aside an hour or two to study with your children every day. This is the best education.
5. Keep exercising and enjoy outdoor fun.
Taking part in outdoor sports can not only make children have a healthier body, but also be an important way to communicate with children. Exercise can also make children physically and mentally happy and more sunny and cheerful.
6. Keep a diary to record your life.
Let children develop the good habit of keeping a diary, which not only exercises their language expression ability, but also allows them to record interesting things in their lives. Looking back when they grow up, it is really warm and full.
1. No examples.
The child didn't come into this world with bad habits. All his habits are acquired. In his living environment, if there are excellent people, he can imitate good behavior habits from these people. On the contrary, if there are no excellent people in his life, he will not see the prototype of good habits and have no chance to learn good habits. If parents want their children to form good habits, you must find an example in their lives for them to imitate. Whether this role model is yourself or others.
In fact, the main reason why most of us ordinary people are "ordinary" is that we didn't live with excellent people when we were young. We simply don't know the way to success, how to form good behavior habits and how to do things right.
If a person wants to be an excellent person, he must have the guidance of a tutor.
2. think that good habits are equal to pain
In a child's world, what habits can bring him happiness and what habits can bring him pain. He has too little direct perceptual experience to make a correct judgment on things according to his own feelings. At this time, if adults send him wrong information, it will harm him for life.
For example, we adults tell our children that to form the habit of reading and running every day, we must have perseverance and work hard. This will allow children to associate "reading" and "running" with pain. The thought that he must endure so much pain to form good habits makes him flinch in front of good habits. Moreover, children have just started to do something, such as "reading" and "running", and no one has given correct guidance. He didn't find the right way to do things well, and worked hard on his own, which made him feel frustrated when he did it, and then he experienced great pain. In this way, in his mind, when he thinks about it, he will associate it with pain and make him afraid to escape. In fact, any kind of habit is not painful in the subjective experience of people who are used to it, but only in the feelings of people who are not used to it.
Therefore, in the process of educating children, parents must realize that all habits are gradually formed, and good habits will bring great happiness to children. Parents should accurately convey this information to their children's hearts.
Bad habits are deeply rooted and I don't know how to change them.
We humans are accustomed animals. In other words, we can get used to everything and be dominated by habits at the same time. It can be said that man is a slave to habit. Habits were originally formed by repeated "behaviors" of "people", but once they were formed, they changed from customers to customers and became rulers of people. If you can't find the right way, it's hard for people to get rid of the habits they have formed. Almost everyone has had the experience of struggling with habits and failing.
It should be said that if we rely on our own will (usually people use the word "perseverance") to get rid of the habits formed over the years, then the fate of failure is doomed. Because in this world, no one has changed his habits with his perseverance. On this issue, people's misunderstanding is worldwide. People don't know how to break a bad habit. Once someone gets rid of a bad habit, people's "explanation" is that he really has "perseverance" And people who break their habits don't know what's going on themselves. He also believes in people's explanations and believes that he seems to be really "very persevering." Anyway, believing that he has perseverance will make him feel comfortable. The truth is that we humans are organic creatures on the surface of the earth, and the objective law that controls our behavior habits is the law of "avoiding pain and seeking pleasure". When we associate the old behavior with pain, so that people feel pain instead of happiness when doing the old behavior, we can replace the old behavior with new behavior and associate the new behavior with happiness, then anyone can get rid of the habit formed for many years in an instant.
It should be said that most parents do not understand this truth. When children have bad habits, parents treat them in a reasonable or critical way, hoping that children can get rid of bad habits. When children can't get rid of bad habits, parents will beat and scold their children more and more, and scold them for their lack of perseverance. Few parents realize that this is their own stupidity, not their children's fault. The method you use won't let the child change his old behavior at all, but you complain that he has no perseverance. The child is really innocent.
As parents, we must understand that only by taking correct actions can children get rid of their shortcomings.
4. Adverse environmental impact
In the process of children's growth, if they are affected by bad environment, they will automatically develop some bad habits. Humans first learned about the world from the contact environment. A child born to see adults smoking and drinking will think that smoking and drinking is a natural behavior. When he can do these behaviors, he will naturally learn to do them and learn these bad habits inadvertently. There is no doubt that the chances of children living in crime-prone areas getting into bad habits will increase greatly. If a child has a negative role model in childhood, it is almost inevitable that he will not learn well.
5. Incorrect thinking method
Many parents think that children's good habits are naturally formed. This way of thinking is wrong. There is a sentence on the stone carving of Mount Tai, a cultural shrine in China, which aims to remind people that it is not easy to learn well. In fact, people's good habits are carefully cultivated. Because good habits conform to the general interests of human beings and have standards of behavior, they need strict guidance and repeated training before they can finally take root in children's lives. And bad habits can be achieved without hard practice because there is no standard, so our parents must have absolute patience and guide their children repeatedly in order to let them develop good habits.
6. Parents' behaviors are inconsistent.
In order for children to develop good habits, parents must do the same action in the same direction repeatedly. Today, we let the children form this habit, but before the children finalize this habit, we will change it tomorrow, and let the children form other habits, even the opposite ones. This makes the child at a loss.
In the adult world, we are so used to contradictions that it is difficult for us to find contradictions in our words and deeds. When we treat children with contradictory demands, if they can't do it, we force them, which makes them lose their basic criteria for judging right and wrong. Intellectually, their brains are in a mess; In terms of behavior habits, they have developed the habit of hyperactivity rather than good habits in truly valuable things. This is actually the fault of parents, but in practice, parents often scold their children for no reason.
7. There is no motivation to change habits
Changing children's bad habits is not our parents' wishful thinking, but the will to change. If children don't have the psychological motivation to change bad habits, it's useless for us adults to worry again. The motivation for children to change bad habits can only come from themselves. When a child finds self-worth in his own life and feels that his life is meaningful, he will rise a desire for "self-improvement", which is the driving force for him to change his old habits. With the desire for self-improvement, he will feel uncomfortable about the bad habits that exist in himself, and then he will put forward the idea of getting rid of them. Therefore, if our parents want their children to get rid of bad habits, they must first strengthen their children's advantages, make them feel good, and they can become better, so that they can have the desire to improve themselves and have the motivation to get rid of old habits.
8. Parents' anti-reinforcement function
When children have stable bad habits, many parents see them in their eyes, worry about them in their hearts, and immediately respond to them in their mouths. Parents first take pains to criticize and nag. Later, when I found that criticism didn't work, I began to escalate to beating and cursing. In fact, what parents do is precisely the anti-reinforcement effect. To get rid of a child's bad habits, we must react inside the child's life, not outside. In other words, in order for children to get rid of bad habits, they must feel the pain caused by bad habits, keep them away from the pain and get rid of old habits. If the child doesn't feel the pain caused by old habits, and in most cases, old habits bring him happiness, it's no use for parents to worry again. And the more parents criticize, the more children can't change old habits, which is equivalent to strengthening old habits.