In the circle, a visiting scholar from a domestic university took his four-year-old son to a friend's house in America for a party. While eating, my son was sitting on a stool. My mother took a hamburger, tore it into pieces and sent it to her son's mouth bite by bite. Although it is common for domestic parents to chase their children to feed, this feeding behavior of a four-year-old child still makes me dumbfounded. I kindly asked why the children were not allowed to eat by themselves. My mother sighed and said, "There are too many people rushing to feed at home. Let him eat by himself."

People in China are always afraid that their children will catch cold, so they will put a lot of clothes on their children on a hot day. Of course, when the child is surrounded by panic, he will keep crying. Parents or grandparents will think he is still cold, so put on some clothes. Children will cry all the time, so hold them until they fall asleep, until they get used to wearing a lot of clothes ... In the United States, sometimes the weather is a little cold, and some Americans still wear short sleeves, but there are many cotton-padded jackets in China. China's children are always secretive, while American children go into battle lightly. In fact, scientifically speaking, children are more afraid of heat than adults. Generally speaking, it is reasonable for children to wear less than adults.

Under the modern "6+ 1" parenting family model, many children have been protected by their parents, grandparents and grandparents for a long time. Often children have not expressed their wishes or ideas, and parents or grandparents have already brought him what he wants. This makes the child lack independent ability and rely on others to help him in everything. Among the generous playmates in China, there is a little girl named Doudou (a pseudonym). Because her grandparents and mother take care of her at home for a long time, her independence ability is obviously worse than other children. Our mothers often get together, put the children in the toy room, and then all the mothers go to the kitchen to cook. Only Doudou's grandmother followed Doudou everywhere. Doudou wanted to play with any toys, but she had already sent them to her before she spoke. Before going out, Doudou only needs to look at grandma, and grandma will put on her shoes and hats immediately; Doudou fell, and grandma immediately picked her up to take care of her, but Doudou, who was not injured, cried very black ... The result would only be that Doudou didn't want to do anything by himself and didn't like to play with other children. If she needs anything, she just needs to see her grandmother. Since the emergence of a large number of only children in China families, there have been thousands of only children in Qian Qian. Sometimes I see that some only-child students in the United States often call their parents for help when looking for a house, buying furniture or even hanging curtains. Some parents will call their parents remotely at home and spend a lot of money to find someone to help their children with these trivial matters. And because of the little things that children do overseas, countless parents have flown in from China to help.

Overprotection is not only manifested in behavior, but also in spirit. Some parents or grandparents are afraid to hear their children cry. As long as their children cry, they can promise anything. I have also seen some grandparents and grandchildren crying because they were criticized for doing something wrong. Grandma immediately stepped forward and took out the small bench and patted it hard, saying, "It's not the baby's fault, it's the small bench's fault. It's all the fault of the bench. The baby didn't do anything wrong, so we played a small bench ... "After doing this, the child stopped crying, but the consequence of doing this is of course that the child will be irresponsible and soon after doing something wrong. I once saw a little girl who took off all her clothes because she didn't meet any requirements, and then lay on the ground and rolled around. Her parents saw it, and soon agreed to everything, and they had to coax her to stop crying.

Once I saw an American child crying for something in the American supermarket Costco. When it's useless to tell the truth, push the shopping cart straight to the exit. When the child saw his mother leaving, he quickly caught up with her and followed her while crying, but her mother didn't stop at all. Everyone stared at the mother and son. If it is a Chinese mother, she will probably feel embarrassed, so she will quickly satisfy her children not to cry. But the American mother didn't care what others thought at all, and still walked out by herself, while the child cried and followed her ass. ...

Sometimes it's hard for me to understand why most American babies can sleep alone in a room for six months when they are three months old, eat by themselves when they are one and a half years old, dress and put on shoes to pack their toys when they are two years old, and think she is as old as you when she is three years old. And many children in China need to hug them when they sleep at night. When you are three or four years old, you will hide behind your parents, or you will have some bizarre coquetry ways. In primary school, they have to let their parents sit next to them and supervise. That's because people in China have too much "reluctance" and "care too much", and they are always afraid that their children will not eat well, sleep well and write their homework well enough. They don't want to make their children cry and suffer, so China's parents would rather be cattle and horses themselves than let their children be emperors, thus creating countless little emperors and great emperors. People in China work hard as parents. When a child graduates from college, he is worried that he can't find a job, so help him pave the way first. After finding a job, I was worried that I couldn't afford a house, so I helped him buy a good house. When they buy a house, they worry that the pressure of repaying the loan is greater than paying off the loan for him to solve their worries. After paying off the loan, they were worried that they couldn't find someone, so they quickly found someone for him. After the child got married, he was worried that he couldn't take care of the child well, so he rushed to help the child.

Of course, this has something to do with cultural differences, but I always feel that China people are not as free and easy to their children as Americans, and it's easy to turn them into "bottle men" or "nerds". However, children in China are worse than those in the United States in terms of physical fitness and independence. Therefore, we really need to reflect on our family education methods and make room for children to learn to grow up independently.