Parenting experience of 45 excellent mothers 1. Children don't need to be too smart and edgy. I don't think this is a good thing. The key is to cultivate good habits.
The environment is very important, so you should do it right.
3. Don't form a bad habit easily, so you will find that it takes twice as long to correct a bad habit and three times as long to form a habit; Don't introduce new bad habits to children because of short-term interests. For example, because children don't eat, turn on the TV for children to watch, so as to achieve the purpose of feeding more.
4. Respect children and get used to empathy.
5. tell the truth When you find that some truth may not be effective, you should pay attention to your speaking skills. You'd rather speak in half than lie.
6. Say what children can understand. A mother who is used to reasoning should be concise and avoid being like Tang Priest.
7. Educate children to pay attention to skills, step by step, don't eat fat, step by step; Understand the characteristics of children now, and don't encourage them.
8. Have the foresight to know that doing so may cause children's strong resistance and compromise with themselves, so don't interfere with children, otherwise the final result will only be worse and not better.
9. Eat, pay attention to a more balanced proportion, not too fine; /kloc-before the age of 0/year, children should ensure the amount of milk; Pay attention to three meals after one year old; It is impossible to have a balanced diet in one day, but it is possible to have a balanced diet in one week.
Children don't starve themselves.
1 1. You must eat in the dining chair. If you don't eat, please leave.
12. When going out to play is not as safe as eating at home, there is no need to worry too much. Pay a little attention within your ability, such as choosing a clean restaurant; Others, such as whether there is monosodium glutamate in the dish and whether the dish is green food, don't worry too much.
13. Be conscious of calcium supplementation or something. Get more sunshine.
14. Not paying attention to clothes, not deliberately.
15. Dressing up children, one less is better than one more. Children exercise a lot, and it is easier to catch a cold when the wind blows, and it is more difficult to get better.
16. The child has a runny nose and put on some clothes.
17. judge whether it is hot or cold, and touch the child's back neck.
18. If you don't give your child time, you will take small medicine at every turn. In the cold season, give your child some vc from time to time, or eat some fruit rich in vc every day.
19. When the cold symptoms are mild, if you just have a runny nose, you don't need to take medicine at first, you can drink more water; Most colds are viral, and viruses have no specific drugs. /kloc-just take the medicine for 0/4 days, and don't take the medicine for 2 weeks. Many times it is the psychological comfort of adults themselves.
20. If you go to the hospital with a cold and fever, try to ask for a blood test.
2 1. Can a person not get sick? Impossible; Therefore, don't panic when your child has a cold or a minor illness. Dialectically speaking, a cold is equivalent to an injection. There is no need to pay too much attention to this macro-inevitable thing.
22. Now that you have decided to let the baby play, don't be afraid of getting dirty.
23. Don't interfere with children's behavior too much without affecting their own safety and the interests of others.
24. Let the children play and grope, and don't break their heads.
25. Not all dangerous things are forbidden to children; Within the controllable range, teach children where the danger is and how to avoid it.
26. Give children as many opportunities as possible to experience themselves, and don't directly tell the results; Let him grope, bump and fail.
27. Teach children to wait.
28. Teach children to be responsible for their actions.
29. Teach children that giving and returning are two-way, and learn to be grateful.
30. Try to sleep with your child.
3 1. Pay attention to protecting children's attention and interest.
32. Train children in cold protection.
33. There are many people in society? Early education? Method, when you don't know how to do it, don't do it, do something; I believe that it is better to be frugal than to be extravagant.
34. Children are children of society. Don't think too much of yourself as a savior and an only child.
35. Don't dwell too much on your parenting details. Why, theoretical basis, just do it, fait accompli, not so much attention.
36. Try to ensure that one parent can play with the child for a certain time every day.
37. Try to make children laugh several times a day to keep a good mood.
38. I can refuse to accept teaching my children to face failure, but I can't afford to lose. I can choose to give up or attack again, but I can't cry in front of my opponent.
39. If children attack, learn to assess the situation, tell them once first, and then the basic principle is, fight if you can, and flee if you can't; In kindergarten, you can shout loudly to attract others' attention.
40. Don't hit anyone yet.
4 1. You have the right to decide your own affairs.
After the age of 42.3, introduce the mechanism of weekly allowance to children-start to learn how to do what you want with limited money, learn to open up sources, and learn to cut costs.
43. I often take my children hiking and going to the suburbs, not afraid of the wind and rain.
44. Try to go back to your hometown in the countryside once a year and lead a different life.
45. Don't bring the troubles of work home.
Methods and experiences of educating children. Parents should cultivate their children's tough character.
There will always be many setbacks and failures in one's life. Parents should pay attention to cultivating their children's tough character.
First of all, we should teach children to correctly look at the reasons for their failure. Parents can often analyze their problems with their children and teach them to look at things around them from different angles and grasp the key to the problem.
Secondly, cultivate children's self-confidence and let them know and play their strengths. There are no perfect people in the world, and growing children need more time to experience setbacks, enjoy success and then know themselves.
Parents should not only teach their children to correctly analyze and understand the causes of setbacks, but also help them prepare for difficulties.
As long as parents pay attention to cultivating children to deal with everything around them with a positive attitude from an early age, children's lives will always be full of sunshine, and they will not always feel inferior when encountering difficulties.
After years of research, American child psychologists have found that paying attention to cultivating children's happy personality is conducive to their healthy growth. So how to cultivate children's happy personality? The following aspects can provide you with reference:
First, close feelings with children. Friendship plays an important role in cultivating happy personality. Therefore, parents should encourage their children to play with their peers and let them learn happy and harmonious interpersonal communication.
Second, give children the opportunity and power to make decisions. The cultivation of happy personality is closely related to the guidance and control of children's behavior. Parents should try their best to give their children opportunities to know how to use their decision-making power from an early age.
Third, teach children to adjust their mental state. To let children know that some people are happy all their lives, the secret lies in having a highly adaptive psychological state, which can make them quickly cheer up from disappointment. When a child is frustrated, let him know that the future is always bright, and teach him to pay attention to adjusting his psychological state and restore his happy mood.
Fourth, limit children's material possessiveness. Because giving children too many things will make them produce? Acquisition is the source of happiness? Such an illusion, so we should combine examples to educate them that the happiness of life cannot be equated with the possession of material wealth.
Fifth, cultivate children's broad interests. Pay attention to children's hobbies. Provide children with a variety of interest choices and give necessary guidance. Children have a wide range of interests and hobbies, and naturally have a happy personality.
Sixth, maintain a happy and harmonious family life. Family harmony is also a major factor in cultivating children's happy personality. Some data show that children who grow up in happy families live happier lives as adults than children who grow up in unhappy families.
It used to be said that "a blank sheet of paper can draw the latest and most beautiful picture". In fact, the psychological state of a child after birth is like a blank sheet of paper. Parents' psychological quality, parenting style and other factors largely determine the psychological development direction of children. Some parents always tell their children that this is not good or that is not good when they bring their children to consult, but they don't know that many problems are caused by their parents' morbid psychology.
First of all, parents' excessive strength and vanity will put too high demands on their children, which will make their bodies and minds bear the pressure of overload and eventually lead to psychological obstacles and even diseases. For example, a parent spent all his spare time arranging various training courses for a seven-year-old child, such as piano, painting, English, calligraphy, chess and composition. As a result, the child was too nervous and caused Tourette's disease. Other children seem to study for their parents under their close supervision. I usually study for my parents, and when I get to the exam, I feel extremely nervous, insomnia, anorexia, hysteria and so on. Some of them had to give up when the exam approached.
Second, parents' picky and perfectionism have caused many psychological obstacles to children. For example, parents have many requirements for their children's homework. When they write a pen, they have to trace, wipe and wipe repeatedly, which leads to delay, sometimes they can't finish the exam, and even serious coercion.
Third, parents' anxiety will be passed on to their children. Some children have been sickly since childhood, and their parents are very worried. They often complain, fret, talk and pay too much attention to their children. As a result, their children become sensitive, suspicious, inferior, withdrawn and neurotic.
Fourth, parents always deny their children and make them lose self-confidence. Parents always want their children to behave as well or even better as they did when they were children. Any small shortcomings will be blamed, and beating and scolding will be a common occurrence. There is a 5-year-old child who often loses his temper and does nothing for a long time. He asked him why he did it. He said that he couldn't do well, and his mother told him to say it three times a day without praise, so he wanted to lose his temper.
There will always be problems when children grow up. Parents should tolerate their children's shortcomings and wait patiently for their growth. When discovering children's problems, first reflect on your own problems and relax. When your own problems are solved, your children's problems will be solved. If you can't solve it yourself, you can find a psychologist to help you analyze and correct it.
Twelve rules for educating children in the United States
1, Attribution Rule: Ensure that children grow up in a healthy family environment.
2, the law of hope: always let children see hope.
3. Law of Strength: Never compete with children.
4. Management rule: Parents have the responsibility to manage their children before they are underage.
5. Rule of Speech: Listen to their voices.
6. The rule of example: The example of children setting an example is huge.
7. Seek common ground while reserving differences: respect children's views on the world and try to understand them.
8. The law of punishment; This rule is easy for children to have rebellious psychology and revenge psychology, so use it with caution.
9. Consequence rule: Let children know the possible consequences of their actions.
10. structural rules: teach children to understand the boundaries between morality and law from an early age.
1 1 .20-yard rule: respect children's independence tendency and keep at least 20 yards away from them.
12. Four W rules: always know who the child is with, where he is, what he is doing and when he will go home.
Second, how to deal with children's unreasonable demands?
When children grow up, with the emergence of various needs, the exploration of the environment will continue to deepen, and some unreasonable demands will be put forward slowly. What kind of sexual behavior will they show? So, how should parents treat their children's waywardness?
At this time, parents have only two ways. First of all, it can never satisfy children's unreasonable demands, and second, it can divert children's attention.
Refusing a child's request may lead to a series of behaviors of the child, such as crying, rolling, threatening not to do what someone should do, etc. At this time, some parents are often helpless in the face of these tricks, and may compromise after a while, and finally end up with their children's victory. This is absolutely impossible. This usually increases the arrogance of children, reduces the prestige of parents, and makes children learn to do the same thing next time. The result is often nothing. Children will become more and more willful. Therefore, parents should insist from the beginning, never give in to their children's unreasonable demands, stand well, and never think that there is only one child, so forget it!
The way to refuse children's unreasonable demands should be as euphemistic as possible, try to state facts and reasons to children and express them in a way that children can understand; It is also inappropriate for some parents to refuse or even physically punish their children in a simple and rude way, knowing that they can't agree to their unreasonable demands. When the child cries endlessly, parents can avoid it. Without an audience, children will be tired of crying. You really need to avoid at this time, but don't hide behind the door and eavesdrop. Once the children find out that you are peeking, they may cry even more. The child is still very clever.
When children cry because their unreasonable demands are rejected, some methods can be taken to divert their attention. For example, other things, but this way of diverting attention should be neutral, not positive reinforcement.
Third, the reasoning skills of parents and children.
Persuasion and full reasoning are important means for parents to educate their children. Reasoning with children requires not only patience, but also
Choose appropriate methods and skills according to children's psychological characteristics.
First of all, we must fully affirm the strengths of children. As the old saying goes:? Dozens are not as good as winning the first prize. ? Reasoning with children should fully affirm their strengths, give timely praise and encouragement to their progress, and then correct their mistakes on this basis, so that children can easily accept the opinions of adults. It is not that it is wrong to blame children blindly, which will only make them feel inferior and rebellious.
Secondly, what is the point? Is it reasonable? . The truth you tell your children should be reasonable. You can't talk nonsense or make it difficult for them, because adults talk nonsense and children won't be convinced. Adults' demands are too harsh for children to do. For example, some parents in life like to eat snacks themselves, but they don't listen to their children when they tell them the disadvantages of eating snacks.
Third, give children a chance to defend themselves. When reasoning with children, children may defend their words and deeds, and adults should give them a chance to defend themselves. Understand that defense is not an argument, but an opportunity for children to explain things clearly and to defend themselves, so that children will better understand what you are saying and get good educational results.
Fourth, we should understand the emotional state of children. Children, like adults, are more likely to accept different opinions when they are in a good mood and are more likely to be extreme when they are unhappy. Therefore, it is not effective to reason with children, fully understand their emotional state and educate them when they are in a good mood.
Fourth, help children eliminate psychological stress.
Moderate pressure can inspire people to forge ahead. No pressure at all will make people tired and lazy, but too much pressure will cause psychological problems because they can't bear it. At present, not only adults have psychological pressure, but children are no exception. As parents, it is the responsibility to help children overcome the pressure, because for children, parents should be the most important and trusted people.
So, how to help children overcome psychological pressure?
Listen carefully to the children's voices. To help children, we must first understand the children, what is their psychological pressure and where it comes from. Therefore, parents should first listen to their children, spend time talking face to face with their children, and listen to their voices attentively. Only when parents are willing to give their hearts to their children will children give their hearts to their parents. In this way, you can know the real situation of children and give them practical help.
Help children overcome their fears. Sometimes, children will be isolated because they are different from some classmates. For example, some boys don't want to play truant with others, cheat with classmates in exams and secretly learn to smoke. They will be laughed at, even isolated, afraid and at a loss. At this time, parents should educate their children to adhere to principles and not do anything wrong; Let children know that it is not easy to go with the flow. This is a sign of a person's maturity and courage, and it is also a sign of independent wisdom.
Let children share their experiences and let them know that everyone is under pressure and parents often have troubles. This can avoid the suspicion of preaching and make it easier for children to listen to their parents. At the same time, parents should also tell their children how to deal with difficulties, overcome pressure, set a practical example for their children and enhance their courage and confidence.
Cultivating children's self-esteem can strengthen their determination to resist all kinds of bad temptations and help them face adversity and setbacks bravely. Meet some specific things and let the children express their views; Give them something suitable for children to do and encourage them to do it themselves; Respect children's ideas, let children express their opinions in the discussion of some right and wrong issues, and so on; These are all good ways to cultivate children's self-esteem. Children with self-esteem will have courage and courage, and they will have a strong ability to distinguish right from wrong.
Caring for children's growth, encouraging children to cultivate a wide range of interests and hobbies, and participating in extracurricular activities or social practice activities organized by some schools at ordinary times are of great benefit to alleviating children's psychological pressure. Some parents are eager to make their children succeed, and always force their children to learn this and that after class, which often backfires. The correct approach should be to respect children's own wishes and make rational choices and training according to their interests and specialties.
In most cases, as long as parents can find their children's problems early and give appropriate guidance, they will effectively alleviate or eliminate their psychological pressure and make their children grow up happily and healthily.
When a child is at fault, it is not appropriate to blame or scold him when eating, which will affect his appetite and digestive ability. How can we help children stop? Afraid? Dating someone else?
In daily life, children's communication and expression skills can be cultivated. For example, how about educating children in a non-authoritative way and giving them more opportunities to express themselves and let them try to answer? What do you want to eat? Questions like this.
Encourage children more and build their confidence. On the other hand, you can ask him more about his school or kindergarten and ask him to report the dynamics of his classmates. If a child complains that someone is not nice to him, you can ask him: How do you think you should be nice to your classmates? You don't like what he did to you. Did you tell him? Let the child think about how to express himself exactly and let others understand his emotions and thoughts; And take the kids? Simulation? What to do and say under what circumstances.
Always take your children out to interact with people, such as taking them to a good friend's house for the night on weekends, so that children can experience the happiness of interacting with people; Mothers should try their best to take care of their children themselves. Although the child can't speak yet, he should communicate with him more, hug him more and caress him more. If there have been interpersonal problems, they can be solved through psychological training, such as letting children surf on a mat. Crawl, brush the child's body with a soft brush, let the child jump on the corner kick, etc. In severe cases, special psychological training is needed with the help of psychologists.