Usually, many parents think of their children's internet addiction, escape, complaints, indifference and bad temper when they see their children playing games, so many parents think that online games have harmed countless teenagers like drugs.
On the one hand, online games are indeed a negative factor in children's growing environment; On the other hand, we can't change the environment. Our effective way is to learn to know the game, understand the game, and look at the game with a neutral eye, so as to better guide and help children.
Although the game makes children easy to indulge, it is also helping children to relieve stress. As the saying goes, flies don't bite seamless eggs, and children are stressed, in a bad mood, with low self-worth and easy to indulge in games.
If the child has developed to be addicted to games and does not study, then at this time, the child will often be very upset and face great pressure, such as study pressure and interpersonal pressure. At this time, it is not a bad thing for children to indulge in games, because it is necessary to release the pressure of children reasonably. If parents blindly prohibit opposition, it will easily lead to great contradictions.
Therefore, parents who are familiar with Mr. Peng's methods will know that I have always advocated easing the relationship and giving the children some time and space first. When our relationship with children is repaired to a certain extent, we are gradually establishing principles.
On the one hand, we should allow children to play games, because through games, children are actually releasing their inner negative emotions and pressures, but when they are released to a certain extent, children themselves want to get better and think about what they should do next and in the future. This is the self-healing power of every child.
Every child wants to be better, and wants to gain the affirmation of the people around him. No one really likes to break cans. Therefore, when a child plays games to a certain extent, he will begin to wake up and start thinking about his future. At this time, the self-healing ability will begin to appear.
Nature heals itself, just like a lake. If it has been polluted before, if managers start strict management and prohibit pollutants from being discharged into the lake, then after a year or two, we will begin to see that the lake will naturally become clearer and clearer.
If a forest has been cut down excessively before, it looks desolate and bare, but if managers start to strictly close the mountains to facilitate afforestation, we will see that this forest will begin to show a lush scene in a few years. This is also the self-recovery ability of the forest.
For a child who already has serious educational problems, if he wants to help the child, his parents must make up their minds to study. Through learning, they can distinguish between good educational ideas and methods, bad educational ideas and methods, and stop the wrong methods in the past, just like stopping discharging pollutants into the lake. Slowly, children will also show their self-regulation ability. Of course, this time is often longer than parents expected.
Because parents are often anxious, the problem of neglecting their children has gradually accumulated over the past ten years.
Only when parents completely let go can they get rid of their children's stressors, and even if parents really let go, it will take a while for children to feel their parents' letting go and acceptance, including their own hearts. Therefore, parents must be patient when changing their children.
When parents completely put down their high expectations, return what belongs to their children to themselves and allow their children to play games to vent, does it mean that children can play all the time?
Actually, it's not. When we feel that the relationship between ourselves and our children is slowly easing and the children's mood is beginning to improve, on the one hand, we should try our best to create activities that can partially replace online games for our children, such as keeping pets, playing chess and cards, watching TV and movies, cooking well, exercising and so on. On the other hand, we should learn to gradually establish principles and gradually become Laozi instead of grandson.
When parents work hard in this direction through continuous learning, the child's state will recover better and better. Finally, parents don't care about their children's study and whether they study or not, but children will take the initiative to study and eventually return to school!
Of course, adolescent education is often a complicated case. To really solve them, parents need to calm down, study step by step, understand every key point thoroughly, and then implement it step by step. Only in this way can they really help children change!