Adler said: "Lucky people use childhood to cure their whole lives, while unfortunate people use their whole lives to cure their childhood."
Lucky people can heal their childhood wounds in life and even become happy and excellent people. But there are still many unfortunate people who can't get out of the trauma all their lives.
Our adult thinking and behavior patterns are all formed in childhood, and it is difficult to change them in the future.
What you get from your family and school when you are a child, and what you export to society and family when you are an adult.
The more love you get, the more love you give to others. If you get less love, or if you don't get love, you can't understand love and you can't export it.
Children who lost their parents in childhood will find it difficult to get along with the opposite sex, find no partner, or even get married, they will not get along with their spouses.
The happiness and misfortune of a person's life are all decided in childhood.
For me, educating children is a very simple matter, because I am willing to learn, understand psychology and have scientific and correct methods.
There is nothing wrong with the child, and the fault of the child is caused by the parents. There are no children who can't teach well, only parents who can't educate.
Thirty years ago, I read many reports of young people committing suicide, and I also studied the reasons, thinking that they chose to commit suicide because their families and society did not give them enough love. Today, I still insist on this view.
For adolescent suicide, many adults and parents don't look for reasons from themselves, but attribute the reasons to children, thinking that children are too fragile psychologically, lack adversity quotient and have poor anti-frustration ability.
Many parents still believe that dutiful sons are born under sticks, and storms can make their children extremely strong. Those children who committed suicide were cornered by such confused parents.
Parents are calm, kind to their children, warm as rain, reasonable and unconditional. Which child would choose to commit suicide?
It is impossible for people to survive. People only choose to end their lives in extreme pain.
Some parents think that society is cruel, and children should be educated about setbacks at home and at school to enhance their ability to resist setbacks. But they have gone too far and reached the other extreme, which is more cruel than society.
Moreover, the cruelty of social competition and the cruelty of home and school are completely different concepts. Survival competition, work pressure, a lot of things to do.
Society doesn't talk much about feelings, but families should focus on feelings.
Family should be a quiet harbor, parents should be children's psychologists, and they should use unconditional love, tolerance and understanding to soothe their broken hearts and arouse their courage to live.
However, some confused parents did not heal and heal their psychological trauma, but sprinkled salt on the wound, leaving the disappointed heart completely desperate and the painful heart completely torn.
I was lucky to meet my loving, rational and reasonable parents. I hardly received any abuse or verbal violence from them, but I appreciated and encouraged them. So I am calm and confident.
More than ten years ago, because of serious and lasting neurasthenia and family problems, I thought about suicide countless times to end my pain.
But thinking of the regrets, regrets and pains left by my parents, brothers and sisters after my death, I have never committed suicide.
I once imagined suicide methods in my mind, jumping off a building, drinking medicine and killing a car.
But I think of my family and relatives. There is nothing wrong with them. They love me. If I die, they will be heartbroken. Many mistakes in the world can be corrected, but only death can't. Why ruin their lives because of my mistakes?
Because of my love and sense of responsibility for my parents and family, I never committed suicide in those very painful years.
I am grateful to my parents, brothers and sisters for giving me warmth, care and love in my childhood, adolescence and middle age.
Your love has awakened my inner love and taught me to love myself, my children, my family, society and everyone.
I can't bear to die because of your love, and I can't bear to hurt you and punish you with death. You have never done anything wrong. Although I made many mistakes, I didn't kill myself. I still have a chance to practice, change my destiny and repay the love of my parents and relatives.
Children and teenagers, why do you want to commit suicide? The reason is very simple.
Some people will encounter many adversities in their growth, study, work, life and health. The reason why they can survive is simple.
But it is these simple truths that many people don't understand and many people don't admit. Mistakes happen again and again, and tragedies are staged again and again.
Although many people write articles, make speeches and appeal, they still can't change many tragedies. What a pity!
One hundred years ago, Mr. Lu Xun wrote Save the Children. Now, countless people are making the same sound.
When can we stop yelling like this and discuss such simple issues as how to educate children and how to be parents?