What are the advantages and disadvantages of wolf father and tiger mother education?
Benefits:
1. Give children motivation (positive attitude)
High-pressure education can bring stress, which turns it into motivation, exercises your endurance and brain power, and is beneficial to your body and mind. Because of the high-pressure educational environment, children always want to do better, always want to get ahead or excel. Therefore, high-pressure education is a tool to tap their own potential, and children will continue to work hard for it, so that their will and perseverance will continue to strengthen and give full play to their potential.
2. There are talents under the pointer, and children need to be disciplined at the ignorant stage.
Parents take more bridges than children, so they know how to make correct, rational and favorable decisions for their children. Although this kind of education has suppressed children's nature, and even seems a bit "inhuman" in the west, it has really had an immediate effect. The method may be extreme, but it is right to set goals and try to achieve them. Life is not easy. You must work hard and persevere to make your life better. For young people, studying hard is a struggle. Having parents to guide them and make appropriate decisions can help them avoid many detours and live a successful life better.
Give up your happy childhood and give you a successful life (prepare for the future).
"If you eat hard, you are a master." The implementation of high-pressure education is more comprehensive. The purpose is not for children's temporary happiness when they were young, but to look far and lay a good foundation for their future development.
Disadvantages:
It is easy to damage children's personality and social development.
For example, children raised by authoritarian parents may succeed in their studies and early careers; However, in social communication, it is easier to be introverted, socially withdrawn or passive, and it is often tense and unfriendly in daily interpersonal communication.
However, in modern society, it is obviously out of date to still measure the success or failure of family education with the educational view of traditional society.
Academic success is not necessarily related to career achievement and happiness in future life. It is easier to get a good job and enter the upper class of society if you are successful in your studies, but this is not necessarily related to the happiness of a person's life. Relatively speaking, career achievement, happiness in life and emotional ability are more closely related. The so-called emotional ability, also known as emotional intelligence, is often reflected in individual emotional screening and control, as well as self-control and influence in interpersonal communication. Children raised by authoritative parents are more independent, friendly to their peers and advocate freedom and cooperation; They have a strong motivation to pursue success, and they are often successful and loved. No matter in the relationship with others or self-emotional regulation, they can effectively regulate their own behavior.
Another risk of "tiger mother" and "wolf father" education is that the success of education is a fluke.
Because every child is born with a different nature, if the child has a good endowment, he may be able to achieve academic success under strict stick education. But if the child's talent is average, then the education of "tiger mother" and "wolf father" actually damages the child's ability to pursue happiness and happiness. It can be said that behind every "successful" example worth showing off, there may be countless children who have unfortunately become "waste wood".
1. Parents place too high expectations on their children and pursue perfection.
Because parents don't want to disappoint themselves, they keep putting pressure on their children. When a child caters to his parents' expectations, he loses himself and his life is no longer comfortable and smooth. He can only firmly grasp his "Excellence" at such a high price. Such an "excellent" child is a bomb that will be detonated at any time, either hurting others or blowing itself up. According to statistics, 23% of mentally ill children in universities are recognized as "excellent" in junior and senior high schools. But children are very different. Even if they are coerced, many of them can't meet their parents' expectations, resulting in inferiority and rebellious psychology.
2. When the child is dissatisfied with himself, despise and punish him.
In fact, children feel guilty when they can't satisfy their parents. At this time, parents will scold him again, turn guilt into disgust, and then break the jar. Otherwise, it is temporarily forbearing but burying the introduction of mental illness, which may break out at any time.
3. Compare your children with others.
This is a common problem of most parents. When parents often compare their children with other people's children, children will also think they are incompetent, thus losing self-confidence and moving towards inferiority.
4. Conditionally meet the needs of children.
Buy sneakers first in the exam! When you enter the top five, we will travel as a family! Many parents regard this as a reasonable and enlightened reward and punishment measure for their children! As everyone knows, the subconscious message this brings to children is that they are loved only if they meet their parents' standards. Then children will pay the price of losing themselves in order to get the love of their parents!
5. Predict that children are worthless
Predicting that a child is worthless has two consequences. First, the more you say that he is worthless, the more worthless he is, completely losing his fighting spirit and learning ability, and finally realizing your prediction! Another kind of child, the more you say that he is worthless, the more he has to prove that he is promising, but if he lives in "proof" all his life, he will lose himself and lose his wisdom and happiness in life.
Step 6 make choices instead of children
There are three stages of children's psychological independence, namely, 3 years old, 9 years old and 12 years old. Children eat by themselves, parents should care and not interfere. Don't say eat all your clothes. Let me feed them! Or what clothes the child wants to wear, you have to choose for him! It is also unwise to quietly sign up for piano classes for children. Parents are always manipulating their children with their own brains, ignoring the process of substitution, which is the process of depriving children of growth. When you deprive your child of some aspect of growth, the child loses some ability.
7. Don't trust children
I don't think children have the ability to control, and I don't think children can actually do it, which completely destroys children's self-esteem and self-motivation. To train children into "talents", we must first make them "adults", otherwise there will only be more and more problem children.
Expansion: Advantages and Disadvantages of Intergenerational Education
What is intergenerational education?
What is intergenerational education? Generation-separated education is because some young parents push their children's education problems and life problems to grandparents because of busy work or divorce. These "every generation parents" consciously take care of their children in an all-round way. Therefore, this kind of parenting education for grandchildren is called intergenerational education.
In fact, in our country, many children spent their childhood through intergenerational education. As an objective way of family education, intergenerational education has a great influence on children's personality development.
The rich life knowledge and profound life experience of parents of different generations provide capital and authority for educating their children. However, due to the limitation of historical conditions and the characteristics of its own times, there are inevitably some unfavorable factors, which should be clearly understood.
Disadvantages of intergenerational education
1, spoil your baby too much and hinder your baby's self-growth.
When grandparents were young, they might not be able to take good care of their children because of the limitations of living and working conditions. They tend to produce a kind of psychological compensation. They focus all their love for their children and grandchildren on their grandchildren, and pay too much attention to their babies, so that they think of their babies in everything and indulge them everywhere, leading to problems such as willfulness, strong dependence and low self-care ability.
2, causing family conflicts, leading to parent-child estrangement.
In the first few years of a baby's life, parents have a very important influence on him. After all, for a baby, parents are his most important relatives. If his parents can't stay with him, he will easily feel abandoned and leave a shadow in his heart. In addition, the baby lives with grandparents or grandparents since childhood and is used to accepting their protection and accommodation. It is also possible to develop some behavior habits that parents don't like. When parents take the baby over or completely take it over from grandparents within a certain period of time, they may be eager to reverse these so-called problem behaviors of the baby, and it is very easy for parents and babies to have opposing emotions. This kind of opposition will make the baby more alienated from his parents and retreat to his grandparents. Therefore, grandparents and fathers can easily cause family conflicts because of the baby's education problems. If grandparents come forward to stop parents from "teaching" their grandchildren, this contradiction will be further aroused.
3. Stick to old ideas and hinder the baby's personality development.
Many grandparents are backward in their educational concepts and lack a correct understanding of the characteristics of their babies' psychological development. They may limit the baby's various exploration activities and put forward some requirements that are not suitable for his age, which invisibly binds him and leads to his lack of pioneering spirit. In addition, many old people have aging knowledge, relatively rigid thoughts, rigid views on things, easy to get stuck in dust, and adopt an overly traditional way to educate their babies. Then, their backward education mode will affect the speed at which babies accept new knowledge, leading to a lack of creative thinking and divergent thinking consciousness. Of course, there are also many grandparents who are old-fashioned because of their low educational level. They may unconsciously inherit some feudal dross that cannot keep up with the trend of the times, which restricts the baby's thinking and hinders the baby's personality development.
Benefits of intergenerational education
1, the old man's mentality is relatively peaceful.
The pressure of modern life leads to the great survival pressure of the younger generation of parents, which is easy to bring the tension at work home, resulting in disharmony in the family atmosphere, which brings too much psychological pressure to the baby and is not conducive to the healthy growth of the baby. However, grandparents have left the competitive social environment and their mentality is relatively peaceful. In addition, the elderly have childlike psychology, which makes them particularly fond of babies. They are more likely to integrate into the games of young babies and establish a relatively harmonious relationship with them, which provides them with a very relaxed and harmonious psychological foundation for implementing correct education.
2. Have more life experience.
Grandparents have rich practical experience in raising and educating babies, and have a more accurate understanding of the development characteristics of babies at all stages, especially when their babies are sick or encounter other problems, they know better what to do, and they will not panic when they meet little things like inexperienced parents, but will be more calm on the contrary. This way of doing things by grandparents will give the baby more sense of security, and also give parents a kind of psychological support, which will play a very positive role in solving these problems.
3. Solved worries for young parents.
Grandparents' love for their grandchildren is irreplaceable by any child care institution or nanny. They can provide the best psychological support for the baby and give the baby enough sense of security. Their participation has also laid a solid support for young parents to join the work. It is particularly worth mentioning that the participation of grandparents makes up for the lack of father or mother in the single-parent family, provides the baby with the object of gender imitation, and also provides the baby with the opportunity to learn to get along with the opposite sex, which invisibly gives the baby a correct and complete gender awareness education, which has far-reaching significance for the healthy development of the baby's sexual psychology.
In addition, grandparents are generally more patient, able to calm down and listen to the baby's voice and communicate with the baby more, so as to better understand and meet the baby's needs. In addition, they have enough time and energy to contribute to the baby, which makes the baby have substantial protection in life care and personal safety. Not only that, the social experience and life perception accumulated by ancestors in long-term life practice also have a subtle positive impact on the growth of grandchildren.
4. Inherit excellent cultural traditions.
The Chinese nation has many excellent cultural traditions and virtues, which are of great significance to the sustainable development of China. Under the influence of western culture, these excellent cultural traditions and virtues are gradually disappearing or losing their original flavor.
The older generation will retain more of these traditional cultures and virtues. With their participation in educating their grandchildren, babies can not only be influenced by advanced culture, but also have the opportunity to better inherit these excellent traditional cultures and virtues.