Four years in the blink of an eye. Of course, these four years will not always be blue sky and white clouds, and we have quarreled. I am sensitive and delicate, so I am suspicious and need grand love, so I look like a clingy cat. Chen Hao certainly likes me as an innocent girl, but sometimes I am too neurotic. I have to seriously doubt all the girls around him and then criticize them. Once or twice, it doesn't matter. In the long run, Chen Hao stopped explaining patiently and finally yelled at me. I will never forget his eyes flushed with excitement. That kind of anger reminds me of the slap my father gave me when I was a child. I'm so scared, the strangeness of confrontation. I am a little girl who needs warmth and dependence. Thinking about the warmth that Chen Hao gave me, I really couldn't imagine the world after my cruel departure, so I made peace.
Haohappy's warmth is really a long story. We applied to move out in our sophomore year. Although he is a little male chauvinist and grumpy, he is a very practical and careful person. He always cleans my luggage. I have had dysmenorrhea since I was a child, and I have to gnash my teeth every time I lie in bed, so he always cooks ginger juice and brown sugar water for me so that I won't touch cold water, and I also learn to cook by myself. When I was a junior, I went to an internship in a neighboring county and didn't adapt to the environment there. Almost every Friday afternoon, I get to Yantai after work. It's already two or three in the morning. No matter how late or cold it is, I can always see him waiting for me when I get off the train. In fact, we were very poor at that time, and he took time to be a tutor with very little salary. In order to save money on taxis and buy me some snacks and nutrition, he always takes the last bus to the railway station and waits for me for hours. So later sisters used him to "educate" their boyfriends.
Although I am the Communist Youth League Secretary in my class and also in charge of the Propaganda Department in the Student Union, he is almost the master of all major issues and even wrote my graduation thesis. At that age when I should have learned to be strong, he was in charge of everything, so I didn't have a strong and optimistic personality, and I was only afraid and at a loss when I met things. I don't know if this is my luck or my sorrow.
In fact, there is another man in my life. I call him Pigou. When we were admitted to the same high school from the same primary school, I chose liberal arts and Pigou chose science. Our classrooms are adjacent, and we meet in the toilet after class, just smiling gently. Later, I transferred to Harbin, but I went back to my hometown when I was in college, and I didn't want to meet him again on the bus to college. He is in the school next door to me. This is really life somewhere tomorrow. From then on, I began to call him "Brother Pig".
When I was in a bad mood, I always used him as a tree hole, so he accompanied me for a long walk on campus until I was quiet. Cool, he seldom talks about feelings, and I always just regard him as a "best friend". Later, I introduced Chen Hao to him and said that he was a good friend. Soon, he seemed to play better with Chen Hao than with me, and he even invited us to see a movie at his school. Everyone is lively and naive.
When I learned that I had officially promised Chen Hao, Piggy lay alone by the sea for a long time on a snowy day. His classmate called me to persuade him. I was shocked. Think about Chen Hao's strong love for me, so he didn't go. He just hardened his heart and said, "What he lacks is not affection, but love. Sorry, I can't give it to him. " Later, Pigou will still appear in my life, just less energetic than in the past. Sometimes his eyes suddenly darken, and then he skillfully pulls out a cigarette from his trouser pocket.
I thought Pige would stay in Yantai all the time, but he finally chose to go abroad. Before leaving, several people went to the seaside together. He found two exquisite stones on the beach, filled them with ink and buried them in the sand. Before boarding the plane, I got a call from Pige. He is unusually polite, bordering on flattery. You must be very happy as a woman.
A few years later, I had finished graduate school like a daredevil, and then stumbled to find a job teaching in a university in my hometown. Chen Hao has to stay in Qinhuangdao to travel, and we can only live this life of gathering less and leaving more. There are still many people around me who are pursuing me. Even when I was teaching a sophomore, a boy with a flat head stood up and said, Miss Tong Tong, although you have a boyfriend, I still like you!
Occasionally, Chen Hao will have a rare little holiday to accompany me. He has the key to my house, and sometimes he suddenly stands in front of me with a red rose in his hand, which makes me happy and surprised. I'm absolutely relaxed with him around, and I don't have to worry about big and small things. It's time to pay the room bill. He told me not to worry and gave me a card in a few days. I know he must have encountered many difficulties in raising funds. Although there is heating in winter, the room is still a little cold. Like a craftsman, he glued the window tightly and repaired the broken wardrobe. If I have an invigilator in the morning, he will get up at 6 o'clock on time, prepare hot water for me, wake me up when breakfast is ready, and call me a lazy pig. If I go out for a long time and don't come back, I will send a text message to "call" me: "When will the Iraqis come back?" Dinner's ready. Go home quickly. "Such warmth and intimacy make me feel practical and safe, and finally understand why Sanmao sends out the feeling that' love should be implemented in real life such as dressing, eating, sleeping and counting money'.
Before he left, he cooked a table of dishes, but they only ate a few mouthfuls. Then he packed his luggage alone and refused to send it anyway. He just told him to pay attention to his health and safety. On the table, he left a note: Baby, it is not easy for us to persist for so many years, because love is true, because we both attach great importance to each other. How I want to bear all the hardships and let you only see the beauty. I can't bear to part with you and want to be with you every day. Take care of yourself. Wait till I get back. Love your husband forever. In fact, there is his message: Baby, I will love you and cherish your life. Every year and every day of my life, my wish is: May God bless my baby's health and happiness. In the mobile phone, there is a short message he just sent: I turned around and found out how real my disappointment was. Baby, just do what you like and make sure you are safe. It is unrealistic to criticize you at ordinary times and not let you do something, not to stop you, but to worry that you will get hurt. Life is not a poem, but you are too simple.
Sometimes, I think back to all these years with him, just like a standard old couple, living alone and taking care of each other. I thought life would go smoothly. If there is an end, it should be marriage. The first half of my life has not passed, and it seems that I can already see the ending. Last summer, I suddenly received Pigou's wedding invitation, and the bride's name also had a scarlet letter. Everything came too fast and too quiet. I know nothing about him after he went abroad these years. It's just that every year at seven o'clock in the morning of my birthday, I will receive his blessing message on time. It's simple. I wish you happiness and so on. I didn't say anything all the way down anyway. But he got married so soon. I don't know why, I suddenly feel a little distressed. I feel ashamed and even afraid of my heartache. I thought of Chen Hao, who was very kind to me.
Of course, at the wedding reception that day, I performed very well. I am always smiling, and I am a dignified and beautiful lady. When Pigo and his petite and lovely wife came to propose a toast to us, Chen Hao and I drank with our necks tilted gracefully, especially me. After drinking wine, we shook hands with the bride, which was a great performance. When I came back, I saw a sentence in the latest blog of Pigou Space: Why didn't she stop me when she passed my classroom in a white dress ... I collapsed.
Later, I secretly took the train to Yantai, went to the seaside, walked on the bridge there, sat at the seaside until dawn, recalled and felt the smell of Pigou, but no one called the police. I came back the next morning with my luggage, and then I got sick. Because it takes a lot of energy to adapt to the new environment when I just started working, my immunity is low and my lymph nodes are swollen. Although the fever was low for more than a month, the cause could not be found. Looking at people getting thinner every day, my parents were deeply desperate at that time, thinking that I had a malignant tumor, but they kept it from me. They secretly told Chen Hao the truth and begged him to give up this relationship, saying that Chen Hao is a good boy and won't hurt you because of my grapes. Later, my father told me that Chen Hao was particularly helpless. He cried when he held him. He tossed and turned all night and solemnly said to his father, I must marry Tong Tong, no matter what she does!
After several months' rest, my health gradually improved, so Chen Hao proposed to me, saying that he really wanted to have a home. I was shocked to think of my still weak body and those little frailties. Who knew this 1.8-meter-long man cried in front of me? He said that he only loved me except his mother in the first half of his life, and he had known me for seven years and always regarded me as a belief. I never thought that I wouldn't marry him, let alone lose my life. Finally, he even knelt in front of me and put his arm on my leg, much like the poor face of a helpless child. I cried with fear and finally agreed to his proposal.
Next, getting a license, taking wedding photos and holding a wedding banquet all went very quickly. Always treat me well, like a father, like a brother, and like a lover, which reminds me of Lin and the three men around him, Liang Sicheng, Jin and Xu Zhimo. Sister said, you see how good God is to you, and put three men in Chen Hao's body and give them to you generously until you are old.
Inadvertently saw Pigou's signature: the days that passed away are like a good girl melting in the crowd. I watched her walk beautifully all the way and marry someone else. Behind it is a big smiling face. At that moment, I only felt that the wind and smoke were clean and everything became as clear as the moon.
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