1. Realize that successful communication has no secrets.
Without a universal communication model, one child's communication style may not be suitable for another child. Therefore, parents must create their own communication methods according to their children's characteristics. For example, the mother's son is introverted and taciturn, and it is difficult to communicate effectively by ordinary methods. Therefore, according to her son's characteristics of listening to music, writing and reading, the mother often goes to the bookstore with her son, where she listens to his stories and characters and understands his thoughts and feelings. She also listened to music with her son and was the first reader of his works, constantly encouraging him. Her son has finally become lively and cheerful. It can be seen that there is no secret to successful parent-child communication. As long as you have the heart, you can find a communication method suitable for children.
2. Learn to listen.
Communicating with children requires talking about your own opinions, but it is more necessary to listen to children's ideas patiently. Listening means avoiding interrupting children and focusing on the process of communication. In order to facilitate this, it is best to communicate in a quiet place and eliminate the interference that may distract people's attention. If you are busy cooking dinner or watching your favorite TV program, it is difficult to listen carefully. Being a patient listener can help you understand your child's problems and opinions, clarify the facts and avoid misunderstandings about your child. Always listen to your child's voice, and you will find that although you don't have many demands and suggestions for your child, your child asks you more questions. This is because parents who are good at listening can become close friends of their children.
3. Create opportunities for conversation.
Communication with children requires appropriate opportunities, and teenagers don't like scheduled conversations. When you want to talk, they may not be interested; Only when they want to talk can communication go smoothly. Some parents may like to talk with their children at the dinner table or before going to bed, while others often use the time of walking or outing together to communicate with their children. No matter what time we choose, we should know that the best communication is often carried out in common activities. Don't always try to communicate with children at impromptu and irregular times. The result can only be failure.
4. Discuss the differences between them.
There are often differences of ideas and opinions between parents and children. For example, parents think that children should go home before 9: 00 pm, while children who enter adolescence think that they have grown up and can come back later. If we can't deal with this difference effectively, communication will be difficult to work. Parents should realize that these differences actually provide us with an important opportunity to rethink the original parenting methods and restrictive measures, discuss and formulate new systems with children, and thus help children develop useful social skills. This kind of consultation is possible and beneficial, because teenagers' ability to recognize and distinguish things and consider various possibilities or viewpoints is improving. If there is a big difference between the two and it is difficult to coordinate for a while, parents don't have to get angry in a hurry. It is best to tell your child your concern and expectation calmly and firmly, and explain patiently, so that the differences will be limited to a certain range and will not turn into conflicts.
5. Avoid overreaction.
Overreaction to children's words and deeds often leads to quarrels, which makes the conversation impossible to continue. In order to keep the conversation friendly, parents should never talk to their children with anxiety and emotion; At the same time, in order to show respect and avoid causing resentment, parents had better ask questions in a negotiated and peaceful tone, such as "What do you think of this?" "Let's talk, shall we?" Parents should strive to be the object that their children are willing to talk to and the people who are interested in their children's affairs. Only in this way can children be willing to open their hearts to them. For example, your child tells you that he went to catch bees with friends at night. If you are surprised and excited, or are completely uninterested in the result, your child will not say anything to you in the future. Parents should realize that children want to be affirmed, encouraged and rewarded by their parents most. If a child is criticized when talking to his parents, he will feel that his frankness has not been rewarded but punished, which will discourage him from continuing to communicate directly with his parents.
6. Discuss things that are important to children.
Children live in another world different from adults. Some things are not important or even annoying to parents; But it's different for children. This may be a matter of great significance. Parents don't have to pretend to be interested in children's affairs, but they must respect their feelings and opinions. So it is necessary to discuss their affairs with children often. The topics listed here are of general interest to teenagers.