In gender education, the most basic thing is ... In a program, a strange uncle took some new skirts for the little girls, saying that their mother bought them and asked them to take off their clothes first. Many children began to undress defenseless, and some even turned to their uncles for help.
Only one girl refused, saying that she was afraid to change clothes in front of boys. It was her mother who said that. Usually I often say to my children: protect your body, don't go to the toilet in front of others, don't show others your private parts ... It's easy to say, but when I really meet, I find myself helpless. I took my children to the sauna last month, and suddenly I bumped into a mother and son in the women's locker room. The boy is not young, he looks like he is four or five years old, playing with water in the pool unscrupulously. The child asked me, "mom, didn't you say you can't change clothes in front of boys?" How did he get in? " I didn't know how to answer my daughter's embarrassing question, so I quickly left with my daughter. Many parents understand that gender education should be given to their children as soon as possible, but it is difficult to implement. Can children take a shower and change clothes with their opposite sex parents?
Where is this sense of boundaries? Huang Lei shared a little thing in Weibo last year: the key point was that my sister was a foodie, but some people questioned in the comments that it was a bit inappropriate for my sister to take a bath for me when she was five years old. In the program "Daddy Comes Back", there is a scene in which Chun Wu helps his 3-and-a-half-year-old daughter Nene to take a bath. Although the key parts were coded later, it still attracted many people's dissatisfaction. On the other hand, before Jerry bathed Tian Xin, who was less than 2 years old, it didn't arouse much resentment from the audience.
From the age of the child, it is necessary to avoid entering the locker room of the opposite sex and avoid the parents of the opposite sex to help the child bathe. This problem has long been neglected, but it is the most basic thing in gender education. From 1 year-old, "self-awareness" will grow on TA, and children will be curious about their own bodies, and of course they will be curious about their parents' bodies, wondering about the differences between people. Before the age of 3, children have no obvious gender awareness, and taking a bath together can eliminate children's mystery about gender; There is no need to hide anything between parents and children of the opposite sex, but you can try your best to answer children's doubts and tell TA the difference between boys and girls. However, after the age of 3, children gradually have a sense of gender and should not be too naked.
When children are gender-conscious, it should be avoided whether parents of the opposite sex help their children bathe at home or enter the opposite sex locker room, toilet and other occasions. For girls, it is generally only before the daughter is 3 years old that the father has more participation. For boys, "my family is a boy and I can't lose money." Many parents have this idea, so they see more boys being taken to women's dressing rooms and women's toilets. When they are brought into the opposite sex locker room, there will be a lot of psychological pressure that we ignore. Boys see women's panic in the bathhouse as girls see men's panic in the bathhouse.
Gender education for children is hidden in the details. No matter when and where, at home or outside, in public or in private space, children should be given clear boundaries and how to live a disciplined life. If you want to protect your children, you should start with these little things. 3-6 years old is called the stage of children's sexual psychological development by psychoanalysts. At this stage, parents should avoid "sexual interaction" with their children, and their representative action is kissing. Both same-sex and opposite-sex parents should avoid this kind of behavior. No matter how close the relationship is, parents and children should maintain a certain sense of boundaries, establish a correct sense of gender, and express their love for their children in normal and healthy expressions.
This point is easily overlooked. After Xiaohua learned to dress herself, I seldom helped her. I would let her go to her room and close the door before changing. I also asked myself, including Xiaohua's father, not to change clothes in front of my daughter. Only by respecting my right to privacy first can I respect my children better. It is often seen that many children aged four or five, even close to 10, are in a hurry to pee. Parents immediately took them aside and took off their pants in public, whether it was a boy or a girl. Children's self-esteem and dignity need to be cultivated from an early age, and defecation in public is itself a matter of weakening children's dignity. While educating children to protect their private parts, we should not let ta urinate in public on the pretext that "the child is in a hurry". If the child's ability to control defecation is weak, then as the guardian of ta, he has the obligation to take precautions in advance.
When we spend a lot of time telling children how to protect themselves, don't ignore some small details, which will make gender education fall short. Gender education is not a difficult topic, and far-sighted parents will regard it as a very important communication with their children.