1. Le Shan Yao, an expert on parents' education who caused children's dual personality, used his decades of research experience to tell everyone that the most serious and important influence of parents' inconsistent education on children is that it will cause children's dual personality. There are contradictions between parents on the issue of cultural education for their children. The father said he would go east, and the mother insisted on going west, which made the children at a loss and didn't know who to listen to.
However, children will also have an instinctive psychological state of prevention. He will make a choice and use his parents' inconsistent suggestions to find the one that is beneficial to him. In other words, whoever protects himself will tend to him. For example, if the child wants to eat snacks, his mother doesn't agree, and his father says, "Nothing, just let him eat." The child has been applied by one party, so his rules are more obvious, and he won't stop until he reaches his goal. More seriously, it will cause the child's dual personality, one in front of the father and another in front of the mother.
2. Reduce the prestige of parents and undermine the effect of family education. Inconsistent parental education suggestions will also continue to affect the credibility of parents. Children will naturally think that what adults say is reasonable, especially those who have prestige in their own eyes must be reasonable. However, when parents' cultural and educational suggestions are inconsistent, especially when they quarrel or even deny each other in front of their children, it will destroy the brand image of parents in their children's minds and reduce their prestige, thus affecting the teaching effect.
3. Weaken the development of children's self-control ability. Self-control ability refers to a person's ability to manipulate and control his own work style. This level has been gradually established and developed since childhood, and it must be helped and supported by parents. When something happens to him, if his parents agree without doubt or negation, he will understand whether he is suitable or not, and learn to stop or correct this behavior again under new conditions, thus developing his self-control ability. But what if his parents' suggestions are inconsistent? When the child encounters the same situation again, he basically doesn't know what he should do, let alone correct his personal behavior purposefully.
It is easy for children to know whether they are too young. His criterion of distinguishing right from wrong comes from adults, especially parents. At home, when parents have conflicts, he usually feels that the winner's point of view is reasonable, but it is not necessarily the case. In the long run, children's moral concepts will become more and more vague and even confuse right and wrong.
5, affecting children's mental health When parents' educational opinions are inconsistent, it is easy to have disputes or even disputes, making the atmosphere at home more and more anxious. The child may not know what you are arguing about, but he knows that the timid and introverted child will feel uneasy because his parents have quarreled with him. In the later days, in order to better avoid disputes between parents, he will always be careful. Even in family life, in front of his parents, he can't reflect the child's nature, fearing that his parents will have disputes because of his carelessness. Children's development will be affected by self-pressure, especially at the level of mental health.