"My children are good at everything except learning."

When parents send their children to me, they say the above two sentences the most. I often tell my parents that every child is born to love learning. "

In fact, this is often not the case. After staying for a period of time, these children can calm down and study hard, find a sense of accomplishment and enjoy learning.

Why are they born to be masters of learning?

Everyone is born with the motivation to grow up, which comes from the inner psychological needs: independent needs, competent needs, sense of belonging needs, and doing things that interest them.

Independent demand: that is, anyone wants to make their own decisions and do what they want, and doesn't like being instructed or forced to do things by others.

Even a child of two or three years old will show dissatisfaction or refuse directly when his parents force him to do something.

Ability requirements: everyone, including every child, wants to be competent for his role, that is, he hopes to accomplish what his role should be competent for.

If the children are rehearsing the program, you will find that every child really wants to act well.

Even kindergarten children want to be competent for their roles, become good children in the class and get more little red flowers.

According to this principle, children, as after-school students, should also have the psychological needs to be competent for their own roles, that is, the internal psychological needs to be competent for their own student roles.

But what we see seems to be not entirely like this. There are indeed quite a few students who don't like learning, and even some are tired of learning and abandon their studies.

Although students need this kind of inner psychological demand, isn't it appropriate? What we see is that they don't like learning, are tired of learning, and give up learning are all superficial phenomena. In essence, they don't have this inner psychological need to be competent for their student role, but their ability in this respect is not enough.

The so-called lack of ability may be due to their inattention, poor study habits and wrong learning methods; It may also be that there are some points in the content of some subjects that I don't understand, which makes the later classes more and more incomprehensible; Or it has been labeled as a negative person who doesn't like learning for a long time, or it has been influenced by psychological factors such as lack of confidence.

Once these ability problems of students are solved, they can finally fall in love with learning and experience the fun of learning in the process of learning.

Sense of belonging: The so-called sense of belonging means that everyone wants to be understood, accepted, recognized and cared for by their respective groups (family, school and friends circle).

How to make use of inner psychological needs to make children learn actively and fall in love with learning?

1. Give children the right to choose.

Therefore, giving children the right to choose is not to let them choose freely without principles, but to let them choose as independently as possible within a certain range.

Want to watch TV or do your homework first;

Do Chinese or think math first;

Learn piano or dance;

What kind of extracurricular books to read;

What's your major?

Once it becomes your choice, you will still try your best to do it, and you will do it more seriously and better.

2. Solve the problem of children's ability

As mentioned above, most of the reasons why children don't like learning are because they lack the corresponding ability. What are these abilities? Often children don't know why they don't like learning and don't want to learn. The reason is that they generally don't know what they are.

However, as long as the problems of children's psychology (learning confidence and significance), concentration, learning methods, learning habits and lack of subject knowledge are solved, children can find the pleasure of learning and fall in love with learning in the process of learning activities.

3. Meet the needs of children's sense of belonging

Try to make children feel understood, accepted, recognized and cared for in the way of education, methods, language and the process of getting along with children.