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There is a post on Douban, and netizens spit out their 10-year-old nephew.
This little nephew not only has excellent grades, but also is good at various hobbies such as Olympic Mathematics, Go and roller skating. The point is that my nephew thinks he is too good and doesn't like his parents being so good.
Children say that their parents are too poor to afford only a few hundred thousand Toyota cars. His classmates all have iPhone7, but only children's watches.
His grades are always the first in the exam, and his talents are outstanding. However, it is such an excellent child who dislikes his parents because he thinks he is excellent, and really staged a farce of "the dog at home is too poor and the child at home is too ugly".
"I work hard to get rid of the ignorance and incompetence of my family as soon as possible." This is the value pursuit of the first child in the exam.
This little boy, who is always the first in the exam and has outstanding talent, is held in the palm of his hand by his parents, put on the tip of his heart and often basks in his circle of friends. His parents have tried their best, but they are rejected by their children.
02
Coincidentally, I saw a group on Douban.
This group has a name that scares all parents: parents are evil.
A group is a group of people who feel deeply hurt by their parents, choose to stand on the opposite side of their parents and hate them.
Some netizens in the group complained about their parents' poor support, while others felt that their parents were too poor to enter the upper class.
Some people even gnash their teeth at the resentment towards their parents in their words, which makes others feel chilling.
Many parents in China have unconsciously cultivated baiwenhang and devoted all their efforts to it, but they have cultivated a "well-deserved" child.
"Of course" means that children feel that all their parents' efforts are worth it. If one day parents don't pay enough, children will still have resentment.
A person with a strong sense of guilt will eventually become a baiwenhang
03
For a family, parents are the roots and children are the fruits.
There are problems with the fruit, mostly because of the roots. Children's lack of gratitude is often a problem of family education.
Parents in China tend to focus on their children and pay too much for them. They are used to arranging their children's trifles, but forget that children have the right to learn to love and pay.
Your love is too strong, but you missed the opportunity to let your children learn to be grateful. The more parents pay, the easier it is to encourage children to feel unworthy, and often they can't raise grateful children.
My aunt's family's economic conditions are average. The couple are usually frugal, but they are generous to their son. As long as the son wants something, buy it for him.
Auntie often talks about "no matter how hard it is, you can't suffer the child."
When the iPhone4S first came out, my cousin had to buy it. My uncle drives a crane on the construction site in order to buy a mobile phone for my cousin. In the summer of nearly 40 degrees in Wuhan, he was reluctant to buy a bottle of water.
Then after buying a mobile phone, I have to buy a computer and travel. Even once it rained, my uncle went to pick up my cousin, and my cousin was so angry that he didn't want to go in the rain with him.
He shouted at his uncle: don't come with me, and you won't look at yourself.
My cousin's academic performance is excellent, and his parents are proud of him, but he never wants his parents to appear in front of his friends. He even resented why his parents were so poor.
Parents have given everything, but they have bred their children's sense of superiority. Children are used to their parents' efforts, but they don't know how to be grateful and enjoy their parents' efforts with peace of mind.
Many parents tell their children, "You just have to study hard and we'll do the rest."
After a long time, children feel that their parents should pay, but they don't feel the difficulty of the adult world.
04
A few years ago, there was such a TV news:
A tragedy happened at Shanghai Pudong Airport. Wang, a 25-year-old young man who had studied in Japan for five years, came forward to pick up his mother and stabbed her nine times, causing her to be unconscious on the spot and dying.
The reason is that Wang's funds for studying in Japan in recent five years were all borne by his mother, which cost more than 654.38+0.5 million.
His mother scrimped and saved, sold her only property, stayed at home, and finally borrowed money everywhere, still unable to continue to pay his high tuition.
The mother gave her everything, but when she couldn't meet her son's requirements, she got his hatred.
It is instinct for parents to love their children. Many parents in China live a child-centered life and pay too much, but children take it for granted.
Children raised by themselves are regarded as "cruel" children, and when they grow up, they become baiwenhang who drains themselves, dislikes themselves, and even hates themselves, making their parents feel bitterly cold after working all their lives.
Why do parents who pay more often fail to raise grateful children?
In fact, the answer is simple: many parents often only care about their children's food and clothing, only care about their children's achievements, but forget to teach their children to be grateful.
A ungrateful child, no matter how much his parents pay for him, is normal in his eyes. Once the normality in his eyes is broken, he will feel resentment.
05
Parents in the world: If you love children, you should teach them to be grateful.
Children who know how to be grateful can leave their own world. They can feel the difficulties of others, are more likely to have empathy and have better interpersonal relationships.
Children who know how to be grateful are getting happier.
A survey at the University of California, Davis shows that grateful people are less likely to suffer from depression and anxiety.
Ungrateful children will always feel disappointed and dissatisfied in the end.
Let the child learn to be grateful, let him face the world with gratitude and learn to love others. This is not the selfishness of parents, but the foresight of children's future life.