What are the wrong educational methods of parents? Children's growth is often accompanied by parents' doting. In the process of educating children, children will use various strategies such as crying. In the face of many children, what parents should pay attention to and see what wrong educational methods parents have.
What are the wrong ways for parents to educate? 1 Too guilty.
German parents often say: "You should be responsible for your actions first!" In order to teach children rigor and let them experience setbacks. On the other hand, some parents in China are full of anxiety and easy to feel guilty when they let their children grow up freely.
So that in kindergarten, we often see such a scene-it is obvious that the child forgot to bring something, but blamed his mother without responsibility: "It's all your fault, I forgot to bring it to me and was scolded by the teacher!" When condemned, you even repeatedly apologized: "I'm sorry, mom forgot when she was in a hurry." It won't happen again. "
Because breast milk is not enough, my mother is embarrassed; Because she was busy with trivial matters, she spent less time with her children, and her mother felt guilty. The mother felt guilty for occasionally losing her temper with her child. Do you love children to the extreme? Do you feel tired?
However, such efforts are hard to pay off in the long run. When children encounter problems that can't be solved, they will only develop the character of blaming others and finding objective reasons. They can't find the root of the problem and can't make progress.
Height control type
China people have always regarded "obedience" as the criterion for judging children's quality, which is actually one-sided. In the eyes of many mothers, it is "treason" for children not to express their ideas according to your planned life and make their own decisions.
China's parents have a very selfish behavior, that is, they are particularly willing to impose their unfulfilled wishes on their children, and even some parents who are unsuccessful in their careers put their main energy into the successful struggle for their children's later life. In order to let children develop according to their own ideas, they turn a deaf ear to their physical and psychological conditions. As the saying goes, the core of education is "unblocking is good, blocking is good". If children have difficulties in their own lives, they will first.
Enthusiastic comparison
Chinese mothers' love for comparison is "famous" internationally, ranging from entrance examination scores to trivial matters. Chinese mothers always compare their children with friends, colleagues and neighbors. People's children go to English cram schools, and they don't want to fall behind whether they like it or not. When the child entered the top three in the class, he asked who was the first and second, and asked to catch up with him next time.
Unconsciously, children have become the reference of others and the weight of your comparison! Gradually, through example, children only pay attention to the point, only know how to brag, do not know why to learn, do not know how to apply what they have learned.
"Child slave" type
Child slave is a popular "hot word" in recent years, which describes the life state of some parents who work hard for their children, are busy for their children, make money for their children, and lose their self-worth. Try to ask yourself if you have time to yourself after having children.
Many mothers don't lack feelings: when they become mothers, they lose themselves and become a satellite that only revolves around their children. Spend less time with my husband, have less contact with friends, have less contact with society, and have less hobbies (YIqiG. Cn).
For the sake of family and children, most of the meals and tourism activities organized by the unit have been abandoned, even the original brilliant career has been abandoned. Whether willing or forced, it seems that only such "wholehearted" efforts can be called a competent and good mother.
But really. Is that so? Not exactly. First of all, this has serious side effects, because it will increase children's sense of lack and guilt, and make the relationship between children and money heavy and difficult. It can be said responsibly that the parents of child slaves do far more harm than good to their children's growth.
Excessive worry type
In recent years, mothers in China seem to be more nervous about taking care of their babies. For example, when taking the baby out, Chinese mothers often keep nagging: watch the car carefully when crossing the road, put on more clothes, don't freeze, don't touch anything ... I'm afraid it's hard to see the scene of carrying a schoolbag to school when I was a child.
Looking around, all we see are parents and traffic jams waiting at the school gate for their children to leave school. Worrying about children is the most tense string that a mother can never get rid of, and she is exhausted physically and mentally (YIqiG. Cn).
In fact, "worrying everywhere is a curse." If children are given positive hints, they will be healthier and better. You always give your child bad worries and hints, and the child may really develop in a bad direction.
Overworked type
We often see such a picture around us: washing clothes in the middle of the night, parents getting up early and getting dark for their children, buying food and cooking at dawn, sending their children to school, and always carrying schoolbags for their children, making them relaxed and complacent; When taking a child by bus, the child sits in the seat, but the parents stand by; I bought delicious food, and the children took it to eat, never thinking about their parents around them ... hard-working and simple, which is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation and the excellent quality of a good wife and mother, but the ending is always unsatisfactory.
With all this, overworked parents can't help but sigh: We are selfless to our children, why are children becoming more and more selfish?
And selfish children are very possessive, and what they want must be taken for themselves by hook or by crook. When they grow up, their selfish desires will continue to expand, and they may do whatever it takes to get something. The terrible consequences can be imagined.
Therefore, such overwork will indirectly encourage children's sense of lack and selfishness, and do more harm than good to children's growth. And excellent parents, especially let go of their children's independent self-care ability and take the time to cultivate their independent consciousness.
What are the wrong ways for parents to educate their children? What should parents do to educate their children correctly?
1. Make friends with children and don't take excessive actions.
To educate children correctly, we should put down our posture and take the initiative to be friends with them, instead of always condescending. Parents should often have in-depth and intimate conversations with their children to convey their love for them.
In addition, when a child makes a mistake, parents should first appease the child's emotions, avoid taking excessive actions against the child, help the child calmly analyze and solve problems, and do not indiscriminately stick education.
Rough treatment of children can not only make him realize his mistakes and correct them, but also leave a shadow in his heart and his personality becomes extreme.
2. Give your children more company.
No one can replace the love and companionship of parents. Only with the careful teaching and companionship of parents can children get better education and form good habits.
However, in real life, many parents have to ask their grandparents to come over to help look after their children, or just leave their children at home.
In this case, parents can't give their children enough company, which will have a bad influence on his growth.
Therefore, parents should treat their children more attentively, communicate with them more, or make more videos and phone calls to keep abreast of their children's life and study, so that children can feel that they still care and love themselves even if their parents are not around.
Parents should set an example.
Parents are their children's first teachers, and their words and deeds will have a subtle influence on their children, so parents must set a good example for their children.
There are many scholarly families, parents with high quality and good virtue, and their children are naturally educated.
On the contrary, it is difficult for children to develop good behavior habits when they grow up in a smoky family environment.
4. Learn to respect children
Although children's growth depends on their parents, they are also independent individuals and need the respect of others, such as:
Respect children's interests-interest is the internal motivation to constantly stimulate children's creativity. When children show interest in a certain aspect, parents should not stifle it, but encourage them and help them learn a new skill.
Respect the child's personality-when the child makes a mistake, parents should not scold him too much, but help him realize the mistake, guide him to correct it and avoid making it again;
Respect children's opinions-when important decisions need to be made in the family, don't forget to ask children's opinions, especially those that affect them. In this way, children can feel respected and grow more confident and excellent in the future.
Children are like a blank sheet of paper, and they can only grow up with the careful education and training of their parents. Parents learning the above four points can not only make their children develop physically and mentally healthily, but also establish close parent-child relationship and grow up in a warm and harmonious family atmosphere.