How to arrange it properly, I am speechless.
The problem of intergenerational education is particularly common in China. Before giving birth to children, I also thought it was natural to give them to the elderly. This is the general environment, and I don't think there is anything wrong. Old people retire at home to take care of their grandchildren, let their children go to work with peace of mind and contribute their strength to the extended family. This is the most realistic care and support they can give their children.
I am in favor of "helping others". After all, young people are under great pressure in work and life and need help, but "help" should be moderate. If everything is not arranged by parents, it will become "intergenerational support", and then it will eventually become an obstacle, and children will become left-behind children.
Yes, it's not just rural areas where there are left-behind children. In big cities, children whose parents are looked after by grandparents, nannies and aunts who seldom take part in parenting are left-behind children in new cities.
Some parents choose not to take part in parenting, which is due to the utilitarian value of this society: they think that taking care of their children at home wastes their education.
There are two-year-old twins living next door to my hometown. Two children, two nannies. My mother works in a good company in a big city and goes home to see the children once a week. Both nannies have no education. They treat their children as if they were their own. Of course, they are different and will lack some maternal love. For example, children usually wear open-backed pants and bare pants. They will play and sit on the dusty steps at home, which is very unsanitary. The two brothers and sisters play with water, and when they carry it, they fight. The two brothers and sisters are in conflict, and the nanny teaches them to fight back and not to be outdone. I don't think it would be such an education if my mother came to take it.
I think narrowly that the world really does not lack an excellent employee and manager, but children need their mothers too much. As Heather Cortes said, "To the world, you are one person, but to someone, you are the world."
Some parents don't attach importance to parenting because they despise early education. Children don't need to learn much knowledge when they are young, so they think that any adult can take good care of children. People always confuse growth with success. Impatient people feel that all efforts that can't guarantee children's success in life don't need to be done. Early education may not really guarantee your child's success in the secular sense, but I am sure that his future quality of life and his ability to feel happiness are completely different.
Some parents want to find their own space. They are too young to take on so many responsibilities. I know, the world is so big that you want to see it. But just look, don't leave the responsibility behind. Otherwise, when the child is in his twenties and begins to face this beautiful world, he will have no patience to talk to you. Life is a great balance. If you don't do enough at any stage, you will always get some form of compensation in the future. Just like those inspirational words in chicken soup, your efforts now determine what you will look like in ten years. The same is true of raising children. Parents who are absent in the early days will inevitably experience the rebellion of their children in adolescence.
Speaking of this, many friends expressed their confusion. Well, it seems that since I started working full-time, I always like to make my choices completely reasonable. I can't help it I can always find this balance. Please help me. But in fact, of course, full-time is not the only way to be the best and most responsible for children.
I think, first of all, we should avoid leaving children at home for the elderly. Maybe it's only a few tens of kilometers by car, maybe it's only a week or a few weeks, but what separates them is the connection between parents and children's life, and the poverty and lack of love in children's spiritual world can't be filled by material things.
For many working mothers with children around them, in fact, the way you work hard is already a good example for your children. But realize that old people can only help, and you are the protagonist in children's lives, not a supporting role, not a guest appearance. Therefore, after work, please put away your fatigue, enjoy the time with your children, and ensure one or two hours of high-quality companionship every day, so that children can grow up with enough nutrition. It is suggested that children can read picture books or play games with them. For details, I recommend reading Seeds of Happiness, Whale Riding Journey and Game Power.