Teaching an optimistic child 1 psychology books: please browse the introduction of teaching an optimistic child!

Although I haven't realized the happiness and hardship of being a parent, in the process of editing Teaching Optimistic Children, I followed the author's case stories one after another and felt the subtle relationship between parents and children. Teaching optimistic children says that pessimistic parents will cultivate children with the same pessimistic temperament, so I immediately think of myself and my parents and find that they really have many similar internal personalities and are not easy to be found. I hope all parents in the world can find their own optimistic or pessimistic factors by reading this book, so as to better cultivate your children.

The optimistic quality of Teaching Optimistic Children 2 will be considered valuable by most people. In the process of cultivating children, many parents also take a fancy to the optimistic spirit of cultivating children. Sun Yunxiao, deputy director of the China Youth Research Center, said: "If someone asks me, what qualities do children need to cultivate most? I'm just talking about optimism, interests and habits. Without strong interest, there is no motivation to grow; Without good habits, there is no guarantee of growth; Interest and habit are inseparable from optimism. Whether a child is optimistic is the fundamental sign of the success or failure of education. " It can be seen how important optimism is.

Optimism, curiosity and reading habits are the three most important training goals in Yida's personal education system. Some people say that this optimism should be determined by a person's personality, and I think most people will agree with this common cognition.

However, seligman, the author of Teaching Optimistic Children, totally disagrees with this statement. He believes that optimism is an acquired ability, which can be acquired through guidance and practice. Seligman is the founder of positive psychology. His theory subverts the cornerstone of traditional psychology, shifts the focus of psychological research from human defects and deficiencies to human strengths and virtues, and advocates that psychology should strive to improve the happiness of the public.

One of seligman's most important theoretical contributions is to put forward the educational direction and method from "learned helplessness" to "learned optimism".

The so-called learned helplessness is a state of mind: when a person fails, he has doubts about himself, feeling that he can't do this or that, attributing the failure to his unchangeable factors and giving up the courage and confidence to keep trying.

Why optimism can be learned?

Because in seligman's view, the key to forming optimistic and positive thinking is the interpretation style. Explanatory style is cultivated from childhood and will last a lifetime without intervention. There are three dimensions to judge the interpretation style: permanence, universality and individuality. Permanence, that is, whether the cause of things will always exist; Universality, that is, causes affect many situations; Personalization, that is, the cause is me, not other people or other circumstances. Children are not optimistic, and parents have the responsibility.

Let's look at a negative interpretation style:

The child failed in the math exam once, and when he got home, he said in dismay, "I'll never learn math well!" " "

As a parent, what kind of evaluation and explanation would you make?

Some parents may comfort their children: "Mom and Dad have few math cells, so it seems that you are not math material."

Some parents may complain, "What a fool! You can't mention ponytail tofu! "

Attention! This explanation is negative. Explaining failure as permanent, universal, personalized and other unchangeable reasons can easily lead to helplessness and pessimism, leading to learned helplessness. In China, there are many parents who are good at criticizing and mocking their children. Think carefully, what is our interpretation style when children fail or make mistakes? Are there any constructive suggestions in the explanation? Therefore, it is the responsibility of parents for children to become pessimistic. The so-called pessimism means that when you encounter setbacks, you can't extricate yourself from any of the most devastating reasons.

Depression did not appear frequently until the 1960s, and the typical patients were middle-aged women. In the early 1960s, depression became popular. Nowadays, depression has become a common "cold" in mental illness, and its smallest victims are often junior high school students or even younger children.

Dr. Peter levinson, a famous American depression researcher, and his colleagues randomly selected 1, 7 10 teenagers in western Oregon, USA for diagnostic interviews. 1972- 1974 A group of people, when 14 years old, 7.2% suffered from severe depression; People born in 1968- 197 1 year have severe depression. In addition, in another study in the southeastern United States, among 3,000 adolescents aged 12- 14, the prevalence of severe depression reached 9%, and 9% of children suffered from depression.

Globally, adolescent depression is the second leading cause of death among people aged15-29, second only to car accidents. Among the 350 million patients with depression in the world, China accounts for more than 6,543.8+,and the prevalence rate is 6.654.38+0%. Most patients with depression are teenagers and young people, and depression is the first cause of death among people aged 15-34. We can often see in the media that students in a school committed suicide by jumping off a building because of depression.

Teach an optimistic child 3 Read the whole book to teach an optimistic child. After reading it again and again, I feel that some contents can't be digested well, but the overall feeling is positive and optimistic, which has conveyed positive energy to us. No wonder it is called "positive psychology".

This reminds me of one thing: at that time, my son Jiang Jiang was about 5 years old, because my mother-in-law had to wait on Taigong 10 days a month. I remember that winter morning, after I got up, I went to the kitchen to turn on the water and make breakfast. As a result, I met my son who was in tears in his thin pajamas on the road. At that time, when my nose was sour, my tears wanted to fall: we were nobody's business, nobody was in pain, and my husband's lumbar spine was not good, so he couldn't come to see us. But then I thought, hey, this can't be a test for both of us. I will not deliberately create difficulties and make my children suffer, but I must find ways to solve them when I encounter difficulties and improve my children's viability. This idea relaxed me a lot, so I adjusted my mood and said to my son, "Jiang Jiang, mom is glad that you can come out to see me. You can help her little assistant next time you wake up." But there are two little things that have not been done well today: first, I didn't wear clothes in winter; Second, cry. Can you get rid of these two bad habits next time? "This not only educates children, but also provides them with a good way to cope with life difficulties, and I myself have become an independent and good mother who doesn't complain. This is really a good thing to kill three birds with one stone.

In fact, this is just a difference in people's minds. If I follow my previous feelings, I will always be immersed in pain, and the more I feel as if the whole world owes you. I always remember the saying "a blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise". Good or bad is not absolute. Good things have hidden dangers, and bad things have good signs. Everything has two sides. When I encounter unhappy things in my life and work, I will encourage myself: it may be good luck, and I can grow faster in such adversity. There's nothing to cross and broaden your horizons. Actually, it's nothing Admittedly, one thing was considered very sad and painful at that time, but after a while, looking back, it may really be nothing.

So I think that if we want to teach optimistic children, then teachers should be optimistic themselves. Although I always feel a little nervous at school and have endless things to do, I am trying to change myself: in the past few weeks, teacher Fan Qiulin's etiquette education has benefited me a lot, and my waist is straighter and people look more energetic; Walking fast for half an hour every night and doing Jiamusi for half an hour, the whole person relaxes physically and mentally, vents bad emotions and feels more energetic.

I know I still have a lot to improve, but I am trying to change, just like my math teaching. I work hard in preparing lessons, attending classes, attending classes and evaluating classes. Maybe my classroom hasn't changed much yet, but it's also a quantitative change, and it can achieve qualitative change when it accumulates to a certain stage. I'm trying and looking forward to it. ...

Teaching optimistic children 4 When I first read this book, I was at a loss and was overjoyed. Confined to the thinking of domestic books, when reading a chapter, I am more puzzled. I don't know what the author's focus is in writing this book. I'm not married. I feel more after reading it. Some similar childhood experiences can resonate and lay a good foundation for future marriage education. It took me two months to finish reading this book, and I benefited a lot.

Seligman's Educational Enlightenment: Let Children Learn to Refute. At first, I simply thought that refuting is talking back, but the book tells us that teaching children is principled. Most importantly, the rebuttal must be verifiable on the basis of facts. Effective rebuttal suggestions are based on four cornerstones: first, collecting evidence; Second, make a choice; Third, resolve the disaster; Fourth, develop the counter-offensive strategy. When children encounter anything bad, especially when they make mistakes and fail, it is easy to have pessimism. Teach children to refute pessimism. First of all, tell yourself to be calm and not be trapped by the pessimistic thoughts in front of you; Then collect evidence to prove that you don't have to be pessimistic; The third step is to ask yourself if you can look at this bad thing from other aspects and try to look at it from many aspects; The fourth step is to evaluate the possible impact of this bad thing, that is, to evaluate it. And through the analysis of various possibilities, we can come up with ways to prevent and solve it, so as to survive the pessimistic crisis.

This is not only useful in educating children, but also feasible in team management. In the process of receiving electricity, we often hear that employees begin to think pessimistically that their data for the whole month is finished after the data in the first half of the year is not ideal. (1) At that moment, his automatic thinking was why he was so dissatisfied at the beginning of the month, and this month was harvested for nothing. Then he fell into anger, disappointment and injustice. (3). At this time, we need to remind ourselves immediately, is this automatic thinking correct? Is it true that my data was not good at the beginning of the month? Didn't you stay for a month later? (d) With this in mind, I will gradually calm down and feel that although the data at the beginning of the month is the foundation, there is still a chance to catch up in the middle of the month. To say the least, we can't catch up with the middle of the month and the end of the month. As long as I adjust my mentality, I will definitely get good grades. The accumulation of such small things, slowly slowly learn to effectively refute their pessimism.

There are many ideas and methods in the book, but what impressed me the most is that the growing environment has a great influence on optimistic children. Independent and optimistic thinking is more important in the process of growth. We must persist in thinking and solving problems with optimistic thinking, and we must know that our influence is great.

Parents are responsible for children's unhappiness, and everything you say and do will have an impact on children in the future. For the sake of your next generation, you should also learn to be optimistic, be optimistic and have a good upbringing. Correct teaching can help children develop and maintain an optimistic attitude, and more positive and important experiences will make their optimism more stable.

Introduction to teaching optimistic children 5

As an older person, I refused to read this book at first.

Single dog, after all. However, after I started reading, I felt lucky to read a book before giving birth to a baby. I am also very willing to share my gains from the following aspects.

First of all, optimism and pessimism

Forget about yourself, let's look at the people around us.

Some people often have a smile on their faces, and communication is always accompanied by laughter. When they meet good things, they are always willing to accept and share. When they encounter bad things, they also tend to analyze and solve problems in a positive way. We often classify such people as optimists.

Others, it is not easy to see a smile on their faces, and they always look gloomy. When you encounter something bad, you often think of worse results. When you meet a good thing, you may not accept it completely. Maybe you are thinking about the bad things that may be hidden behind this good thing.

Obviously, we will be more willing to have more contact with the first kind of people, because in the process of interacting with them, we will feel happier and have more positive thoughts. Therefore, optimistic people are usually more popular.

In today's society, where interpersonal relationships account for an important proportion, I believe that more people want to be a more popular person, and also hope that their children are optimistic and easy to be accepted.

Second, the source of optimism.

What are the influencing factors of a person's optimism or pessimism? Belief is an important content that many people want to know. This book summarizes four aspects, and I have selected three more important factors:

1, genetic

Through investigation and study, it is found that 25%-50% of our own optimism and pessimism are brought out from the womb, which is indeed a very large number. In other words, if there are no parents-to-be, it will be too late to learn to be optimistic from now on and then pass on your optimism to your baby for the sake of future baby's optimism.

2. Are parents optimistic about their education?

Children have the most contact with their parents and are constantly learning their parents' attitudes and ways to treat people and things. The subtle influence in the process of growing up directly affects the way children treat the outside world. This requires parents to always keep an optimistic attitude to face all kinds of problems in life.

3, the influence of the outside world

Besides parents, perhaps the school and his playmates have the greatest influence on children. Communicating with children can not only understand children, strengthen personal relationships, but also help children shield factors that are not conducive to their growth in time.

Third, our common wrong education methods.

I don't know whether it is because of traditional reasons or development factors. There are usually many wrong educational methods around us. Just give a few examples, many people will be shot. For example:

Case 1: A 6-year-old child and a 9-year-old child spell out a complex model respectively. Nine-year-olds do well, but six-year-olds can't work hard. At this time, parents may encourage "Baby, you are doing great!" "Come on, baby, you can do it!" "Come on, Dad will make it for you."

In this case, the father's mistake is:

(1) 6-year-old children can't make a complete and complicated model like 9-year-old children, and their encouragement is empty and false;

② The father took over to complete the model, which made the child feel helpless; (3) It didn't help the children to explain the reasons for the failure.

Case 2: When parents have conflicts, they often make mistakes: quarreling in front of their children; Constantly ask children whether they like their father or mother; Criticize the other half in front of the children, such as "your father is really worthless, and your mother only knows how to play mahjong"; Avoid quarreling and adopt a cold war; Use violence in front of children, such as slamming doors and throwing things.

Fourth, the method of teaching optimistic children.

This is probably the core content of this book, which mentions several methods, such as ABC rule, so that children can learn to refute and get along with others. Personally, I think the easiest way to learn is to learn an optimistic interpretation style and teach children how to explain when facing a thing.

Three dimensions of explanatory style:

Permanence: the cause of things will continue;

Temporary: the reason is variable or transitional;

Universality: the reason will affect many situations;

Specificity: the etiology will only affect specific situations;

Personal: only I have a career;

Non-personal reasons: the reason is other people or other circumstances.

Example: The teacher told me that my son's grades have dropped this semester and he has been playing games in Internet cafes.

The first interpretation style:

Recently, the boss has arranged so many things that he doesn't have much time to pay attention to his son.

The second interpretation style:

Personal time is always so little, what should my son do if he goes on like this? I really failed!

The difference between the two interpretation styles is obvious. The first explanation is temporary, impersonal and concrete. The second interpretation style is permanent, personal and universal. A very simple example, for the same thing, different interpretation styles may lead to different subsequent treatment methods and different results, which is the difference between optimism and pessimism.

Finish reading this book.

I feel that no matter some wrong ideas or correct methods, they are actually based on science. Only by opening your eyes, accepting more new information and sorting it out can a person become more mature and the born child shine on you.

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