? I am almost always in the diving group, and the information in the group will be scanned roughly, and I am often moved by lazy mom's quotations. She talked about the sense of boundaries, which resonated with me.
? After my daughter gets married, I will no longer participate in their lives. Life is theirs, their likes and dislikes, consumption concepts and so on will be different, and there will inevitably be friction together. My educational philosophy is that parents raise their children just to let go. When the children have the ability to live independently, I will step back from the background and stop telling me what to do. Without much attention, he was strongly condemned by his friends for preferring boys to girls and devoted all his energy and financial resources to his son. I don't think I have such an idea in my mind, but my behavior does have such suspicion.
? I shared this idea with my daughter, but she didn't agree. She thought her parents had done a lot for her. Therefore, reading this passage of lazy mother reminds me of a sense of boundary.
? Not participating in my daughter's life is just a subconscious respect for the sense of boundaries. Not participating does not mean not loving or caring. ?
? On the road of family education, on the road of disciplining children, relatively speaking, mothers always make more efforts.
? What's more depressing is that we spend more time and energy. On the one hand, the effect is not necessarily better, on the other hand, it is not understood by teammates and children. Sometimes the emotional pressure is actually quite great, mainly because in the process of taking care of the children, the mother always "can't help it" and the father always "can't see it". . .
? I was with a friend last night. Her daughter is in America and has found a foreign son-in-law. Then the grandson is one and a half years old and has only seen it on video. Because the epidemic can only look at each other through the screen.
? Yesterday I talked to her about a mutual friend, who is also my grandmother and a foreign son-in-law, Kochi. My grandmother is a retired teacher in a university in Hunan.
? Grandma went to America to take care of her grandson. A few days ago, she made a video call with this friend: Say, you can still get through it. I am depressed in America. If it weren't for the epidemic, I would have returned to China.
? What is the reason? It is the contradiction between mother-in-law and foreign son-in-law. Two people almost went to work a few days early.
? One of the reasons is that when the child is born, the foreign son-in-law insists on regular and quantitative feeding, and the grandmother can't listen to the child crying. Then I can't help it. Grandma rushed up to feed the milk and was stopped by her son-in-law . . . The old woman teaches English at the university, but fortunately she can communicate with each other in an adversarial way without obstacles. . .
? Then I asked my friend, "My grandmother must go to take care of her daughter during the epidemic. How can you hold back? " ?
? A friend said: We are two generations, each with its own life. We are two generations from different countries, and we respect their way of life. If I need to go, it is obligatory, and it is also the place where mother and daughter are connected. But if they feel that they can handle their life and work well, and there is no strong desire in their words that needs our care in the past, then they are all fine and care for each other, which is the same.
? I just listened to a family education course: about the sense of boundary.
? Home should also have a sense of boundary.
? Family members should also have a sense of boundaries.
? Home, without a sense of boundaries, will make children feel insecure. In other words, we must make the home have a "home atmosphere", and anyone and anything can be outside the "home". The wind can't get in, nor can the rain. Home is warm and safe. We can't let the opposite side of our home be the center of the storm. Children can't see a world full of contradictions outside, and often have to face the war of their parents when they come back. . .
? Moreover, there must be a sense of boundary between family members: we are parents and they are children. We are all independent individuals and have no connection. Just because she is a child, we don't have to knock at the door when we enter her room, and we don't need her permission to open her schoolbag. We can't impose a lot of things they don't want to accept because of them.
? "Husband and wife should also have a sense of border and have an independent economic and spiritual world. If they always want to peek into the spiritual world of others, they will hurt each other and torture each other. "