At two or three o'clock in the afternoon, there were not many cars on the road, and they passed by in dribs and drabs. I stood at the crossroads waiting for the green light, with a mother and son beside me. The child is only four or five years old. As soon as the mother saw that there was no car around, she wanted to hold the child's hand and run across the road without waiting for the green light.
Seeing this posture, the child sat down on the ground: Mom, why did we run the red light? Didn't you tell dad not to run the red light?
Maybe I still didn't react, so I said, there is no car now, so go quickly. it doesn't matter
The child refused and grabbed me next to him: Aunt, why did my mother say that she would run a red light without running it? ! I don't want to run a red light! Our teacher said not to run the red light! It's wrong to run a red light! Running a red light is dangerous!
I looked over and my mother blushed: I'm sorry, XX, it's my mother's fault, so we waited for the green light. Never run a red light again.
This is actually just a trivial matter, but it deeply moved me: children really learn from their parents first. Perhaps a small behavior of parents will affect the child's life.
Tolstoy once said that all education, or 999% education, is ultimately due to parents.
Before the age of seven, a child is like a sensory signal receiver, receiving the words and deeds of his parents, which will always have a subtle influence on the formation of his three views.
There is such an intriguing story in Grimm's fairy tales.
There is a family, which runs in the family. Grandpa is old, his hands are weak, and sometimes he always trembles.
Once at dinner, grandpa couldn't hold the bowl and accidentally broke it.
The son and daughter-in-law immediately swore and said that they would serve the elderly with broken wooden pots in the future. Moreover, they didn't let the old man eat at the dinner table and cornered him.
This was naturally heard by Misha, the grandson of the old man.
A few days later, the couple saw little Misa playing with small pieces of wood on the ground, as if trying to make a bowl. They asked him what he was doing.
Misa replied, "Dad, of course I'm practicing making a wooden basin. When you and your mother are old, I can feed you with these wooden pots! " "
The couple looked at each other after listening and were very ashamed. They realized their mistake, apologized to the old man and invited him to dinner again. Since then, they have taken good care of him.
Educator Suhomlinski said: "Every moment, when you see a child, you see yourself;" While you are educating your children, you are also educating yourself and testing your personality. "
This is the fact that imitation is the basic source of human behavior. Children are always close to their parents in words and deeds.
Children not only learn what you say, but also learn what you do and what kind of person you are.
I read a story before. On the subway, the little girl accidentally spilled her popcorn on the car. When the little girl's mother saw it, she didn't get angry, didn't blame the child, and even ignored it. Instead, take out a paper towel and let the little girl pick up the popcorn scattered on the ground with her and say "I'm sorry" to the people around her.
Many people may think it's nothing, but the little girl's mother told her with her own actions: take responsibility. If you are wrong, you must take responsibility.
Children are like a mirror, which can clearly reflect the projection of their parents on them. Everything that parents show in front of their children will penetrate into the child's character and behavior bit by bit and into the child's body and soul.
Educator Fukuzawa Yukichi once said: "Family is a school of habit, and parents are teachers of habit."
If the family is a copier, then the parents are the originals and the children are the copies.
Good habits are influenced by parents, and bad habits are also promoted by parents' words and deeds. As the article said at the beginning, the problem of running a red light. If the child's mother runs a red light with her child, it will leave a cognition for the child: what the mother said is not necessarily right, and there is no danger in running a red light.
From a small point of view, the consequences may be just a matter of running a red light. In the future, children will cross the road when they see no one around, which is against the traffic rules. A little older, maybe she will gradually stop listening to her parents' teaching, because "it doesn't matter if she doesn't listen", maybe she will "try" many wrong and criminal things.
Therefore, never underestimate the influence of parents on their children.
For example, as long as you observe carefully, you will find that in many school violence incidents, those children who are abusers are often treated with violence by their parents more or less during their growth.
A problem that colleagues are worried about recently can well reflect this problem.
He is a man with a bad temper. When you are angry, your eyes are quick and explosive. He took the children downstairs to play several times. Children are not sensible and want to play with their peers' toys, but people don't want to. His children were beaten as soon as they went up.
He got black on the spot and went straight to "study". At the suggestion of the other parents, he was even more angry and said, "Don't hit people in the future!" " I was so angry that I hit the child
However, after repeated attempts, the bullying and beating behavior of children has not improved. The child even yelled at him once: "Didn't you hit me, too? Why can't I hit people? "
How is it possible to keep a child in a violent family since childhood, but let him not hit people?
Fortunately, my colleagues are reflecting on this problem.
The children of relatives are smart, but they have many bad habits, such as swearing.
When he first learned rude words from somewhere and said things like "get out" and "fart", no one took them seriously. Grandparents who spoil their grandchildren laughed it off and said with a smile, where did the lovely grandson learn this? no need to say any more
There is no strict stop and no proper punishment. As a result, when he was unhappy, he told everyone to "go away" and even said several times to let grandpa "go home".
Ignorant people are fearless, and parents' casual words and deeds may lay the roots of good or evil for them.
If parents turn a blind eye to children's problems, or do not take the right way to guide them, the result is that small problems are getting bigger and bigger, like snowballing, becoming deep-rooted bad habits.
Don't always find problems with children, but also find your own problems.
Makarenko, a famous educator in the former Soviet Union, said: Don't think that you are teaching children only when you talk to them, or when you teach them and tell them. Every moment of your life, even when you are not at home, you are teaching your children. How you dress, how you talk to others, how you talk about others, how you express happiness and unhappiness, how you treat friends and enemies, how you laugh and how you read newspapers are all of great significance to children.
It means that the influence of parents on their children is not only "teaching by example", but also "setting an example".
Children grow up watching adults talk and learning from their behaviors. Only by striving to be better can children be better.
If parents can't clean themselves and litter everywhere, why do they let their children do housework? Children will even refute you: don't you litter, too?
Similarly, if parents don't like reading and play mobile phones and watch TV all day, why should they ask their children to put down their mobile phones and study hard?
If your words and deeds don't match, you'll have to go back on your promise to your child. Why do you ask your child to do what he says?
If parents are profligate and extravagant, why should they ask their children to be frugal?
.......
What kind of person do you want your children to be? What kind of person do you want to be?
I remember watching a little video:
The morning rush hour traffic jam, the gap between the traffic lights, the children sitting in the back seat threw the finished yogurt box out of the window. Taking advantage of the gap between the traffic lights, the father immediately got off the bus and picked up the yogurt box without saying anything, and educated the child's behavior.
Some people may think that the father is making a mountain out of a molehill, but he is telling his children with practical actions that littering is uncivilized and it is everyone's responsibility to care for the environment.
Therefore, educate people first, and then educate yourself. No matter how good a prestigious school is, it is not as good as parents' words and deeds to their children. To ask a child to do something, first of all, set an example by himself, and set a good example for the child to learn.
Li once shared the story that he grew up with his daughter Li Yan.
For example, Li Yan has been climbing mountains every year since she was one and a half years old. By the time he was five years old, Li Yan had been able to climb a mountain with an altitude of 2000 meters and a distance of 17 kilometers.
For example, every solar term, rain or shine, I will accompany Li Yan to the Ming Tombs Reservoir for scientific investigation and observation of the wonders of nature.
For example, in order to cultivate Li Yan's various interests and patterns, he also took Li Yan to visit the Forbidden City as many as forty or fifty times.
In this regard, Li said: "Because education is to set an example, when you do something seriously, children will naturally imitate it."
This is also the case. Under the influence of Li, Li Yan likes reading and exploring, and also accepts the imperfections in life. She is a cheerful, optimistic, determined and independent girl.
Excellent quality never grows on children for no reason, but is instilled in children by parents' words and deeds and daily life.
Parents' words and deeds are the best gifts for children.