Source | Liang Da

Hi ~, I'm Haoda.

I recently chatted with an old reader in a private letter, which made me feel a little bit.

This guy is in his early 30 s, and the child is 5 years old. He works in a private enterprise in a third-tier city. His income is not high, but he can live. It makes no difference. But he said:

I guess many middle-aged people will feel this way. They always wanted to change the world when they were young, and they didn't know why. When people reach middle age, they are completely ashamed, living a trivial life for mortgage and livelihood. They want to change hard, only to find that they have no chance to work hard. ......

You see, this is the reality. The plot is not ups and downs, but it is helpless and dull after all, which is often very different from our ideal scene.

But where did our ideal scene come from? From stories, novels, movies, plays ......

In martial arts novels, the hero always survives. After some hardships, he met an old man with a white beard and guided him to practice hard, eventually becoming a hero.

In the movie, the first hero lost his father in his early years and decided to do something big when he grew up. So under the passionate background music, he worked hard for three jobs, found an excellent opportunity, and turned back to become a business leader. ......

But you have to understand that the hero of the story is not an ordinary person. Unfortunately, you and I are both ordinary people.

The so-called ordinary people, that is, you and I will not win the Mark Six lottery, and it is unlikely that we will ring the bell in America. Of course, there is a high probability that our plane will not fall, and we will live to be over 80 years old. ......

We need to accept the settings of ordinary people, which is also the fate of most people. You said you wanted to change your life. Sorry, no one can help you. People who are rich and expensive have factors of hard work, but life is mainly good.

One depends on the weather, the other depends on the geographical location, and the third depends on the harmony between people. None of them can work. These are all beyond our subjective control.

What had happened seemed inevitable, but there were endless possibilities at that time. With a slight deviation, it can't be what it is now.

Therefore, these great men are the products of survival deviation, and there is no reason to tell them. Just listening to stories, if you take this as an example, may not be a good thing.

On the other hand, these great people may not have a good life. You say that Ma Yun's wealth is 10,000 times that of you, but will his happiness be 10,000 times that of you? Definitely impossible. Maybe he is not as happy as you.

Happiness and happiness are two different things. The latter is mainly a feeling. You think some people are happy and some people think you are happy, but only the feet know whether the shoes fit or not.

In fact, I know many bosses, and their pressure is beyond your imagination. It is difficult for many people to have a moment of peace. It's no exaggeration. You can pull yourself into the pit with a word, and the trouble at the top may be disaster. ......

You know, when anxiety can't be relieved by money, that kind of anxiety is fatal.

I really don't want to pour chicken soup on you. All my old readers know that I wrote an article, and I really don't want to make it famous. The taste in the spotlight is very uncomfortable. I even worry that drinking with my friends will be recorded. What's the point of this life?

Therefore, ordinary people have ordinary people's fun. Don't turn a blind eye. You know, most of our anxieties are created by the media and friends. Those bad news and people who show off their wealth make you anxious and unbalanced.

Showing off wealth is a selective expression after exaggeration. Who will send a circle of friends and say "I have a miserable life"?

Therefore, it is most important for us middle-aged people to make sure that we live a good life in front of us.

Don't try so hard, life is really not a struggle, but a gradual evolution from a trajectory.

1

What is a "trajectory"?

The academic view is: the collection of qualified points.

This definition is also quite suitable for explaining a person's life. A person's life is also made up of countless points. However, these points do not exist in isolation, but influence each other and are interrelated.

Life is different in many ways, some are light, some are heavy, some are big and some are small.

The most important point in life is the moment of birth, which can be called the "origin".

The "origin" determines the established trajectory. Where you were born and what kind of family you were born in are all important.

If you were born in Suzhou in the Qing Dynasty, congratulations, whether you are doing business or studying, the probability of success will be much greater. In the 300 years of Qing Dynasty, there were 144 champions, but Suzhou alone produced 24 champions.

If you were born in Sichuan at that time, it was obviously not a good way to study, because there were only 1 top students in Sichuan in 300 years.

What is the difference? Isn't it determined by the economy? At that time, there was a saying that "Suzhou and Shanghai are familiar, and the world is enough." If you have money, you must protect your assets in some ways. Investment is one kind, education is another.

Otherwise, why did the wealthy Jiangsu and Zhejiang generations produce so many talents? If you have money at home, you will naturally attach importance to your children's education, and once a family forms this atmosphere, it is difficult for children to think hard.

Just like the money family in Hangzhou, there are many powerful people. Qian Zhongshu, Qian Mu, Qian Sanqiang, Qian Xuesen and Jin Yong all belong to this family. Some people say that it is determined by genes, but it is not so mysterious. If your uncle, cousin and second brother are all schoolmasters, then you should sing poems to each other at family dinners. How dare you not work hard?

Therefore, it is better to believe in "genes" than "memes". In a closed circle, everyone's behavior and thinking mode will become more and more consistent.

"In the bitter fleabane bitter fleabane, go straight without help", the origin determines the trajectory, and the origin cannot be chosen by itself. This is probably the most helpless thing.

2

Have you deviated from the established trajectory? Of course, we can call it a breakpoint.

You might as well cross it again. When you open your eyes, you find yourself in a luxurious quadrangle in Beijing, and groups of servants are waiting for you. It turns out that your father is a famous businessman, and his family is either a politician or a business genius.

How's it going? Are you secretly happy and feel that the future is bright?

What if I told you it was the beginning of 1949?

This historical event is a kind of breakpoint, just like brushing the machine, everything is pushed down and everyone's trajectory is changed.

Breakpoints usually come from outside and are beyond your control.

There are also some people who suddenly hear their inner call and then change their life trajectory, such as:

However, this change in life trajectory is not a sudden attack, but a fork in the road after passing a key node.

Haruki Murakami is high flyers, a drama major at Waseda University. Ding Lei University studied electronic communication, while Wang Xing studied electronic engineering and computer. Their later development is inseparable from their early experiences.

These experiences are often triggered by a key node, which we can call a "meeting point".

"Match point" was originally a sports vocabulary, referring to the decisive moment in a game. In fact, the level of our life situation is also determined by the match point.

For example, the college entrance examination is the most important match point in life and the fairest match point. There are objective standards, and it is not necessary to rely on the subjective evaluation of leaders. Moreover, as long as you are willing to work hard, you will certainly be rewarded, and you don't have to work hard for a long time. I tell you, the admission ticket needs to be shaken.

I'm not saying that the college entrance examination is everyone's only match point. Some people can develop well without going to college. I'm just saying that the college entrance examination is universally applicable. In addition to the college entrance examination, there are three major competition points: site selection, job selection and marriage, as well as some minor competition points, such as promotion, job hopping and starting a business halfway. ......

However, the later match points often come from the chain reaction of the previous match points:

You can experience it and think about whether the trajectory of life is gradually formed in this way.

On the other hand, it is still true. Many people either don't have the courage to go outside because they haven't been admitted to the university, or the jobs they find have no gold content and are simply repeated. Over time, the circle is closed, and people can't see the possibility of further progress in middle age.

I'm not an academic, and I'm not saying that ordinary is not good. I just want to explain this truth. Life has only a few match points. If you catch one, your life trajectory may change. If you don't catch it, you can only walk on the established track and it is difficult to jump out.

three

The fact is that match points are not evenly distributed in our lives, but concentrated in the early days. If a person knows how to study hard, form good habits and manage himself in school, then he will not be bad when he grows up.

However, it is a pity that most people do not have such foresight. Our age can't make us understand the importance of the match point. When we do this, we find that there are few points of convergence in life, and even if we do our best, we can't want to go to war. Sometimes we try our best to get a desperate chance to make the match point appear again.

From this point of view, don't look down on those diligent people in front of the leaders. At least, this is an act of finding a point of convergence. "Caring for yourself" sounds artistic, but it may just be a rhetoric of "emotional laziness".

After entering the society, opportunities are basically won by themselves. As soon as many young people step into their jobs, they feel uncomfortable, feel that trivial work is worthless, and feel that they have not played their special skills.

But think about it from another angle. If you were the boss, would you give something of high value to a young man? Who will pay for this failure?

If he can't do trivial things well, do you believe he can achieve great things?

When I was in the top 500, it was a bit abnormal to organize and promote cadres. You are from a technical background, and you have to transfer to a business post for a while before you can be promoted. Similarly, the business post should go to the technical post to test the water.

If you say I'm not good at it, I'm sorry, I don't need you, because in the eyes of leaders, anyone can do what he is good at, but you can do what he is not good at, because the environment is complex and changeable, and everything you can't satisfy is convenient and satisfying.

Like, there's going to be a war here. Wait, I'm good at using the dragon crescent moon blade. Can you give me one? No, you must pick up a brick to win.

You have to believe that the biggest role of the organization is to dilute the role of the individual, thus turning him into a part of the whole machine. On this premise, in the early stage of your development, you must accept what you don't like and are not good at, so that you can pass the test and get the match point.

You should also believe that your career is a pyramid. You paid a lot in the early stage and got very little. But once you reach the match point, you can go to a higher level, and gradually you will gain a lot without paying much.

Maybe it's a little unfair from a local point of view, but you are relatively fair from a global point of view.

If you see that the leader is more comfortable than you, you only need to build from a strategic height, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Who let others win the match point? This is a very inevitable result of organizational structure.

Therefore, in your career, defining your work attitude by the match point, the first consideration is whether you have the opportunity, not whether you like it or not, whether you are comfortable or not.

You must try your best to seize the match point, show yourself, and don't complain about the difficulty of the game. Some people have been waiting for the chance to compete all their lives. Do you think this is more difficult?

four

Having said that, I feel it. I look back on my life. Some can grasp the match point, and some can't, so I have many regrets after all.

However, as a middle-aged person halfway up the mountain, turning back is for better progress, not to complain about the unfair fate, not to blame yourself.

I've had a low point in my life. In my experience, the more this time, the easier it is for people to do stupid things. Some people invest all their savings in P2P in order to get opportunities. Some people drink and smoke to paralyze themselves and form bad habits; More and more people are normal on the surface, but decadent on the inside, complaining that the world is too gloomy and they have lost all their fighting spirit.

In fact, the lower the trough, the more important it is to understand that what you don't do is more important than what you do. I'm afraid you'll explode before the match point, your wealth, your body and your spirit. .....

Although, the later in life, the harder it is to wait for the match point, but we still have to keep in good condition and prepare devoutly.

I thought of Vickers, a 58-year-old Canadian parliamentary guard, who confronted a gunman who broke into the parliament building on 20 14122 October. Vickers rolled sideways, shot each other, and then calmly found a bunker to fill the bomb and re-entered the state of preparing for shooting. ......

Although this is a small probability event, isn't life like this? Accept what cannot be changed, control what can be changed, and always keep your head up. I believe that the next moment is the most important match point. .....

-End-

About the author: Liang Da, investor and business consultant. When I was in college, I started all kinds of tossing, selling New Year cards, setting up fish stalls and tinkering with clothing stores. After graduation, I opened a restaurant, worked as a professional counterfeiter, and later entered the top 500 to manage at the headquarters. One day, my head was hot and I came out to start a business again. Now I am doing consulting training and writing articles in my spare time.