First, the psychological characteristics of junior high school students
Around puberty, children are closer to adults in form and closer to adults in heart, and a large number of similar wishes emerge in their hearts. At the same time, they are moving from naivety to maturity, lacking experience in all aspects, and often in inner conflicts. Therefore, we should understand several groups of obvious contradictions in their self-consciousness.
1, the contradiction between independence and dependence
After middle school, children no longer listen to the instructions of teachers and parents as they did in primary school, and accept the evaluation of others naively. They began to realize that many of their past ideas were not their own, but came from their teachers. So, they began to explore their true selves and see the world with their own eyes. My daughter often refutes some of my remarks and corrects my interpretation of some things. Children want to be independent and decide their own affairs; Children feel that they have grown up and don't want to go out with their parents. But they know very well that they can't be completely independent, they can't do without the help of their parents, and they lack the capital and experience independent of society. Therefore, their self-awareness is contradictory.
2. The contradiction between ideal and reality
All children have beautiful dreams for their future and life. With the improvement of cognitive ability, they also see many unsatisfactory realities. The great difference between ideal and reality has produced contradictions in their self-consciousness. Sometimes, children's tendency to be too idealistic is often the result of parents' educational methods. Parents try their best to let their children see the positive side of life and cover up the negative side. Once the child finds out for himself, he is lost. Some parents themselves have a tendency to pursue perfection and have absolute requirements for everything, which also leads to the intensification of the contradiction between children's ideals and reality.
3. The contradiction between conceit and inferiority
After entering adolescence, teenagers began to evaluate self-observation as a bystander. This kind of self-evaluation may be based on other people's attitude towards themselves, or it may be compared with people who are similar to themselves, or it may be a complete self-analysis and evaluation. These evaluations are quite subjective and one-sided, and are often prone to extreme changes. For example, some students are depressed only because of the teacher's criticism, while others are complacent because of others' casual praise. There seems to be only a wall between inferiority and arrogance, and more time is spent in the inner conflict between conceit and inferiority.
4. The contradiction between communication and closure
Teenagers are eager to exchange ideas and inner experiences with their peers and dispel the growing loneliness. Since adolescence, children have experienced the taste of loneliness. They are full of all kinds of fantasies and longings, but they also have a lot of loneliness and sadness, and they tend to be self-enclosed. In real life, they are eager to have their own rooms, their own desks and cabinets, where they can store their "personal belongings", such as diaries and letters. They don't like questions asked by others, especially their parents, and don't want to show their inner feelings. Parents are sometimes interested in their children's personal belongings to understand their inner activities, which often causes their children's disgust. At this time, the "generation gap" between parents and children is obvious, which is actually one of the contradictions of children's adolescent self-awareness. Parents should discuss problems with their children on an equal footing, and talking to their children in a tone of lesson is the most likely to arouse their disgust. Parents should not impose their views on their children.
Second, positive and interactive parent-child relationship.
1, teaching by example is more important than teaching by words.
The so-called education of children is actually to teach children how to live and how to be a person. Every parent should understand that when we teach our children what to do, we should pay attention to whether we are practicing these principles. The children are watching, too. They will learn from us. Sometimes, children are tired of doing homework, and when they look up and see us playing cards, drinking and chatting, their will to learn will also weaken; If what he sees is that parents are still busy with work, busy with study and improvement, and busy with work, children will also cherish their study time. Some parents quit their jobs to better supervise their children's study. As a result, children are more passive and lazy. Aside from other factors, parents' unemployment sets an example for their children to live an inactive life. If parents let their children see that their parents are old and have a heavy burden of life and work, they will still keep their enterprising spirit. Children will get some inspiration. Don't let children help us realize our ideals.
Parents should create a good family atmosphere for their children. The so-called family atmosphere refers to the relationship between family members, the way the family interacts with others and the influence of the family on children. Some research reports point out that family atmosphere has a lot to do with children's adaptation. Children who grow up in a warm and harmonious family are more cheerful, optimistic, positive and confident, with good interpersonal relationships and strong adaptability; On the contrary, children who grow up in a cold, hostile and depressed family environment are often prone to retreat and lack of security; Others are prone to aggressive behavior, poor interpersonal relationships, and not easy to have a desire to be aggressive. On the other hand, children are not completely passively influenced by their families. Some children's family environment is not ideal, and they have to make greater personal efforts than others to meet the challenges of the environment. Therefore, their self-help abilities such as attention, endurance, toughness, inspiration and spirit of struggle are better than those of children of the same age. It can be seen that children with unsatisfactory family environment should play their own initiative and enhance their self-help ability, which can also play a compensatory role.
2. Respect the child's personality
How parents treat their children is an important factor in their mental health development. Some parents are too strict with their children, reprimanding them everywhere, dominating their activities and letting them do whatever they say. On the surface, the children educated in this way are educated, but because their independent personality is not respected, they often show self-restraint and self-distrust. On the contrary, some parents try their best to meet their children's requirements, which leads to their children becoming self-centered, selfish, arrogant and even aggressive. Parents should treat adolescent children equally, respect their independence, let them gradually learn the behavior of adults and act according to the general norms of interpersonal communication. The wrong attitude of parents is one of the important factors that cause the children's personality to be unsound.
3. Correct reinforcement.
In the parent-child relationship, it is the key to educate children to strengthen their behavior correctly. Many parents admit that the failure of education is mainly due to improper reinforcement. In the process of growing up, children will naturally have many wishes and then ask their parents. Some of these wishes or demands are reasonable and some are unreasonable. Children are children after all, and I don't know whether it is reasonable or not. Whether parents should be satisfied and how to be satisfied are all issues that need to be considered. Generally speaking, unreasonable demands should be ignored or rejected. Some parents improperly meet their children's unreasonable demands and unconsciously strengthen their children's irrationality. Reasonable requirements for children, except those that must be met quickly, should be delayed as much as possible, so that children can work hard to realize their wishes. Let them understand that the realization of any wish must be at the expense of paying, thus shaping their positive behavior. Be sure to reward their positive behavior, which may be material or spiritual. In many aspects of children's study and life, the principle of reinforcement should be used. Education for children should be based on positive encouragement. Too much criticism often makes children feel at a loss, and even there is a confrontational behavior of "breaking the jar and breaking the fall". Parents' reaction after children report their grades. Parents' performance before and after the exam.
4. Give children room to communicate.
Teenagers need to know themselves, affirm themselves, hope to have more opportunities to express their views and ideas, and hope that someone can listen. This kind of demand can be met less from parents, while peers have similar ideological level and common views on things, which are easy to communicate and reliable. Friends of the same age can help teenagers improve their self-awareness, help teenagers affirm their self-worth, and associate with friends can alleviate bad emotions. In addition, teenagers are learning to adapt to society, and communication with friends is the beginning for them to learn interpersonal relationships and further develop their independent personality ability. Parents should also tell their friends about the problems they should pay attention to. First of all, we should distinguish right from wrong and choose good friends to associate with. Let children know that not everyone can be friends. As the saying goes, "those who are near the ink are black, and those who are near the ink are black." If you find yourself making bad friends, you should show determination and courage and resolutely leave. Secondly, treat friends strictly with self-discipline and be lenient with others. Everyone has his strengths and weaknesses, and friends should learn from each other's strengths. We should learn from others' advantages and help others improve their own shortcomings. It hurts most to laugh at a friend's shortcomings. In addition, friends should be independent in order to establish equal friendship. Some children are inseparable from each other, which can only bring psychological burden to both sides over time. "
Teachers also sincerely hope that boys of this age can treat their life and study correctly, cherish their family, friendship and teacher-student relationship, grow up happily, and constantly improve their quality and self-improvement.