The word "resistance" contains the meaning of "resistance". Babies don't resist for no reason. In fact, they are all sticking to their opinions. If these ideas are realized, it is very important for the baby to establish "self".
If you carefully observe the baby's behavior in this state, you can understand that this is the performance of the baby's self-assertion. For example, you should wear your own shoes, use chopsticks and wash the dishes yourself. Most of them insist on their own opinions. If a four-or five-year-old baby with strong language skills will say, "I wear my own shoes!" " "I want to use chopsticks, too!" "I wash myself, without help. "Wait, convey your ideas to each other correctly. The 2-year-old baby, with poor language skills, can only say "don't" and "do it yourself", and it is difficult to convey his thoughts to his parents, which is mistaken for "resistance" and "willfulness".
Therefore, the rebellious performance of the baby in this period is an inevitable stage of the baby's self-development, and our parents should correctly treat this phenomenon. Try to let the baby try all kinds of things by himself. The result of this can not only meet the baby's psychological needs during this period, but also improve the baby's ability in all aspects.
When people describe things related to children, they usually use the word "cute". Even children who like to destroy are affectionately called "naughty boy" and "naughty boy" by their parents. However, in Britain, people use "terrible" to describe a two-year-old child. Nowadays, "terrible two" (terrible two years old) has become a fixed expression in English.
Children of this age are terrible because they begin to show different characteristics from the past at this time. They are difficult to get along with, like to fight, and everything tends to be rebellious. Therefore, some preschool education experts call this stage "the first adolescence of life", which generally refers to the age between one and a half and three years old.
Before the age of 2, children are in a period of rapid physiological growth. They learn to eat and drink Lazar, learn to crawl and walk, and learn to listen and speak. Their desires can basically be in tune with their parents' wishes. After the age of 2, children will enter the stage of emotional development, self-awareness will begin to sprout, and they will have the impulse to make their own choices. However, because they can't express themselves in words like adults, they can only write their emotions on their faces. They often resist adults' decisions and refuse to add clothes when it is cold; The flu season must be tied to the crowd; Parents cook food in different ways, but children are ungrateful. Should they eat or not?
In this regard, Yan Qi, deputy director of the Early Childhood Development Center of Haidian Maternal and Child Health Hospital, said that the "rebellious spirit" shown by children around 2 years old is an inevitable stage of their development. What parents need to do is correct guidance, not "discipline".
First of all, parents should understand that children need their parents' emotional support when they are 2 years old, so parents should not force their children to "do things that are not allowed" and "do things that must be done", but give them some choices. "For example, give children vitamins, and don't simply order them to eat apples. Instead, put bananas, apples, oranges, kiwis and other fruits rich in vitamins in front of children and let them choose for themselves. " If they change their mind after choosing an apple, parents don't have to worry, because this is the child learning how to make a choice.
Secondly, you can exchange "conditions" with your children on an equal footing. Yan Qi, for example, said that if a child has to go out on a windy day, but doesn't want to wear a hat. At this point, parents can say to their children, "Mom and Dad have promised to take you out. Should you also promise us to wear hats? " Giving children respect and teaching them to respect others can kill two birds with one stone.
Finally, parents should learn to give in. Yan Qi suggested that if the child's behavior does not meet the wishes of parents, the child will not encounter danger, illness, etc. It's best to let children make their own decisions and parents don't need to impose interference.
Foreign mothers will jump with excitement when they hear their children say "no" to themselves, because they think it is a sign of their children's growth (about 2 years old), indicating that their children are growing up healthily. It is not a good sign that children are obedient to Nuo Nuo. When he grows up, he may become a "problem" teenager and make trouble instead of saying "no".
When hearing her "little tail" say "no" to herself, our mother should not have the idea of being hurt or failing.
The negative behavior of children is that children begin to have a sense of autonomy, trying to understand the surrounding environment, establish their own likes and dislikes, and express their personal needs. In real life, children often say "no" to their mothers. Although it is a positive thing for a child to have a "definite view", it will also have a negative impact on the child's growth if the mother does not handle it well.
First, the causes of children's rebellious psychology
Children around the age of two begin to learn to think, form their own outlook on life, and hope to do things in their own way. At this time, the development of body and movement enables them to express their resistance through action and resist what they don't like. Although independence is an important step in children's growth, parents should not forget that children around two years old are too young to know the consequences of their actions and cannot foresee possible dangers. Therefore, parents should not only protect their children's safety, but also teach their children to learn to consider the feelings of others. Important matters must be discussed with their parents.
Second, what kind of resistance is "normal"
In the process of children's independence, you will encounter the following things:
1, refusing parents' request;
2. Sing against your parents;
3. Ignoring parents;
4, don't cuddle with parents, don't be intimate with parents;
5. Don't stay with your parents and run away from them.
These things happen from time to time when children are one year old, and they are more frequent and intense when they are around two years old. This is because their language function is not perfect, children can't understand their parents' meaning well, so they can't fully implement their parents' meaning, and they don't have enough vocabulary to express their feelings and needs. Therefore, parents now feel that children are deliberately targeting them.
With the growth of age, children will become "good" again. Children aged 3-5 have improved their memory and thinking ability. They can learn more by listening and using languages, and they can also control their emotions and behaviors better.
Third, help "rebellious" children through the resistance period.
Parents must remember that rebellious behavior is a necessary stage for children to grow up. Only with the help of parents can children successfully survive the resistance period;
1. Nervous children are more likely to resist.
When children are tired and hungry, we should let them have a rest or eat some snacks they usually like, which will help to relieve their nervousness, instead of teaching them to learn new things or do things.
Changes in the surrounding environment will also make children nervous and increase their resistance. For example, when a child is sick, he is usually depressed and easy to confront his parents. At this time, parents should understand their children and be more tolerant of them when they are sick.
2. Protect children's safety
Children don't have a strong sense of danger, so they will do some behaviors that may have dangerous consequences. When you find out, parents should stop it immediately, and then you should communicate with your child and let him know the consequences of your behavior. For example, children run happily in the street, but they may be knocked down by cars. You have to tell him, "Mom can't let you run in the street because there are many cars here. If you are hit by a car, you will be injured and very painful. "
3. Let children learn to cooperate with others.
For example, tell children that the effect of asking is very different from that of asking, such as "Give me the book, will you?" And "Give me the book!" . Also, tell children what to do instead of what not to do. For example, if you want your child to be careful, you can say "Pick up that cup gently" instead of "Don't break it!"
4. Parents' requirements should be reasonable.
It is easier to exchange toys with children than to give your own toys to children for free. Let the child express his requirements in words, but don't indulge his bad habits. If you meet a child clamoring for cake in the supermarket, don't let him succeed because of the eyes of the people around you. You can take him out and tell him in a calm language: "Because of your poor performance, mom can't buy you a cake. If you want to eat cake, you should tell your mother. " Slowly, the children learned to express their ideas in words.
5. Be a good role model for children
Parents' behavior will directly affect children's thoughts and behaviors. Therefore, parents should control their own behavior, and don't let resistance control themselves, especially in front of children.
In addition, if the child really resists for no reason, don't get bored and can't control his emotions. This is a good choice for children and yourself.
Fourth, what should I do after the problem occurs?
For example, irritability and depression are all inevitable States of children, but it is not normal for children to stay in this state for a long time. Therefore, when a child is found to have problems in the process of growing up, the best way is to seek the help of doctors and professionals in time, and never let it go.